ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

Monthly Archive: April 2018

Thursday

5

April 2018

0

COMMENTS

Dear Madam President by Jennifer Palmieri

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Three Stars

Best for: Those looking for a quick read that’s mostly about Hillary Clinton’s run for president.

In a nutshell: This is “An Open Letter to the Women Who Will Run the World.” But it’s more a short retelling of some parts of the Clinton 2016 Presidential Campaign framed around the idea that it’s a letter to the first woman to be US President.

Worth quoting:
“I have always thought that I could do any job a man can do just as well as him. Only recently have I come to realize that I don’t want to. I want to do the job the best way I can do it, not the way he would.”
“Yes, I’m sure you loved her concession speech. Because that’s what you think is acceptable for a woman to do — concede.”
“We have no idea what beneficial qualities we might be stifling in ourselves as long as we continue to follow an outdated set of behavioral rules that were designed to permit women to play a niche role in a workplace built for men.”

Why I chose it: I heard the author speak on the Rachel Maddow show, and the excerpt shared sounded interesting.

Review:
The concept behind this book is a good one, but I’m not sure the execution worked for me. The book is 175 pages, but each page is probably half the size of a standard hardcover book, so it’s a very quick read — I started it at 9:30 PM last night and finished it just after 11 PM. It moved me, and it frustrated me, and it angered me. So in that respect, it certainly got me thinking.

But I think it’s a bit of false advertising. It’s really a short review of the Clinton campaign, with a few anecdotes from the author’s time in the Bill Clinton and Barack Obama White Houses. The author means to take lessons from the campaign and share them with readers (specifically, woman), but after sleeping on it and thinking about it more today, I think the concept wasn’t realized in as strong a way as it could have been.

There are clear nuggets of wisdom in here, and there are interesting stories that illustrate them. But I think the book would have worked better for me if there had been more concrete suggestions. Or fewer. It’s in the middle space for me, where the book is not long enough to dive deeply into this issues, but is too long to be a tight booklet with a more coherent message.

The overall idea is that we (women) need to stop looking at the way men do things and aim to be like them; instead, we need to be like us. I don’t disagree that women are judged differently (and Ms. Palmieri certainly provides loads of great examples of this), but something about this premise felt as though it were lumping ‘how women act’ into one bucket, and I’m not okay with that.

I do think the book is worth a read, and I’d be interested in reading what other women think after reading it.

Wednesday

4

April 2018

0

COMMENTS

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Written by , Posted in Reviews

4 Stars

Best for: Anyone interested in getting swept up in a bit of period drama.

In a nutshell: Two sisters deal with the loss of their father and the change in lifestyle that follows, while trying to sort out their love lives.

Worth quoting:
“I am afraid that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety.”

Why I chose it: The cover, honestly. This lovely cloth cover drew my attention in a bookshop a few weeks ago, and I figured why not finally pick it up.

Review:
The book was originally published over 200 years ago, but just the same … SPOILERS!

I claim on Good Reads to have read Pride and Prejudice, but I don’t think I have (odd, I know, and I’ll be correcting that). The cover of the film version of Sense and Sensibility has flashed on Netflix as I’ve skimmed through options over the years, but I’ve never watched it (until now – it’s playing as I write this review*). I share that only to say that because of that, I had Emma Thompson in my mind as I read Elinor, and Kate Winslet as I read Marianne. But I didn’t know the rest of the cast, so luckily my imagination was able to fill in the rest of the characters.

It took me a little bit to get into this; I don’t read fiction often, and I read fiction from the 19th century even less often, so the writing took me some time to adjust to. That said, by about fifty pages in, I was engrossed. Unfortunately, because I wasn’t entirely understanding what I was reading (beyond picking up that Franny Dashwood is a conniving snot and her husband is a wimp), the whole Edward-Elinor pairing completely slipped my mind. When he was mentioned again much later on (as his engagement is revealed by Lucy), I was confused why Elinor would even care. So that’s a big whoops on my part.

I did enjoy that characters were developed and shown to be a bit more complex (not always, although often) than they originally seemed. That said … I don’t understand why anyone’s opinion should be moved by Willoughby’s big confession to Elinor when he thinks Marianne is dying. Like, I guess the fact that his wife dictated the shitty letter matters, but I didn’t see anything in what he said that changed anything. Did I just miss something? Or was that whole reveal meant to just endear us even more to Elinor and her willingness to find the good in people? It just seemed unnecessary to me.

Overall, I’m glad I read it. Up next, per a friend’s suggestion, is Persuasion; after that I’ll go with Mansfield Park, and eventually work my way around to Pride and Prejudice.

*The casting in this film is BRILLIANT. I actually squealed when I saw Gemma Jones was Elinor and Marianne’s mother. AND ALAN RICKMAN JUST SHOWED UP!

Tuesday

3

April 2018

0

COMMENTS

Social Media Reset

Written by , Posted in Random

Earlier this year I read a book about phone usage and have been actively working on reducing the time I spend on my phone. I deleted all casual games as well as all social media apps except Slack, WhatsApp, and Instagram, which means I need to actually log into Facebook and Twitter to post or view. It’s been a pain at times, but it’s also forced me to be a bit more intentional with my words and my time.

I know that in the past couple of weeks many people have deleted their Facebook accounts due to the data collection, use, and abuse by among others Cambridge Analytica (among others). I absolutely respect that, although it does make me a bit sad. Facebook is a nightmare, but it’s also the way I see pictures of your children, or find articles of interest, or learn about events to attend. Having moved yet again, it keeps me feeling connected to friends who may not have time to Skype or send long emails on a regular basis. Plus, it’s a way for me to promote How Not To Be A Jerk When…

Same with Twitter. It’s basically my news aggregator (RIP Google Reader, which was the best), as well as a way to share little jokes with friends.

However, I’ve found that for the most part,* I don’t need a running history of my life available for public consumption. So over the past week, I’ve taken my own steps. I’ve deleted everything I posted on Facebook prior to 2018 (yes, everything), and deleted all tweets I’ve ever made from my personal account, and all but a handful of writing-related posts from my public account (more on that below). I’ve also changed up some names.

What this means going forward is that I’ll probably not be liking your Facebook posts or Tweets as often. I’ll be reading them, and possibly reaching out to you via other means if the post shares particularly awesome (or not awesome) news. I’ll likely still engage, but there won’t be a record of it for long, as for my personal Facebook and Twitter, I’ve set it up to only keep 3-4 months of history going forward.

For Twitter, that means I’m using a third party website that deletes tweets that are more than 93 days old. For Facebook, I have a recurring task at the start of each month to go and delete any Facebook activity from the previous month.

This doesn’t mean I think what I’m doing is the only or best way to do social media; it’s just what I’m trying out to see if it works for me. The only reason for posting this is in case you notice that something I’d posted on your awesome profile pic disappeared, or you wonder why I didn’t react to the news you posted. Of course, I’m not under any illusion that any friends just sitting there waiting for my like or retweet (we all have lives), but I didn’t want to just disappear either.

So! Going forward:

Personal (history retained for three months or so)

Public (history retained indefinitely)

Finally, if you have any questions about how I did what I did, including apps or sites I found helpful and ones I found to not be helpful at all, drop me a note.

*I’m not deleting Instagram, because I love those pictures, and I do like having that little history available.

Monday

2

April 2018

0

COMMENTS

The Women’s Health Big Book of Exercises by Adam Campbell

Written by , Posted in Reviews

2 Stars

 

Best for: Women interested in strength training who aren’t overwhelmed with a million (733, to be specific) options.

In a nutshell: Author Campbell provides an overview of lifting, a diet plan (boo), and chapters with body-part-specific target exercises.

Line that sticks with me:
“So whether you’re toting groceries or holding a baby, you’ll notice the difference.” Really, dude? Women use their arms for two things: shopping or children? Awesome.

Why I chose it: I’ve been consistent with my non-strength exercise for many years (running, elliptical, long walks), but haven’t really done much focused strength training in quite a while. Plus, I had a gift certificate to the shop where I found this one.

Review:
When I started this review, I planned to give the book three stars, but after considering it further, I’ve bumped it down to two.

There are components of it did like. There are workout plans, and there are detailed images. I’ve already tried one of the Back workouts (and learned that not only can I not do a chin-up, I can’t even jump to one and lower myself down) and the Quads / Calves. The latter was good. When I get back from a vacation I’m taking in a couple of weeks, I’m going to jump into the “Get Your Body Back” collection of exercises, because, as I said, I haven’t done strength training in awhile. So at the very basic level, this book is as advertised.

Now, let’s talk through what bothered me about this book.

First, every person in the book is TINY. Like, there is variety in ethnicity of the women showing the moves, but it seems as thought the person responsible for staging the photography thinks the only people who do strength training are a size 2-4 with no boobs. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that body type, but come one. There are strong women who are larger than Keira Knightly; perhaps a few of them could be featured?

Next, there are a probably too many exercise options. I fully get that I bought a book that is literally called the “Big Book of Exercises,” but there’s a difference between a dozen exercises per body area and over ninety. It’s just a lot, and it all blurs together. I think it’s possible it could have been better edited to not seem so overwhelming, but this version? Not so much.

Third, the sections on nutrition are pretty generic and a little blech. There’s even a part with a heading called “Why Diets Work.” The text below talks about why nutrition is a necessary component of changing your weight, but come on. Anyone who has read any studies knows that for the vast, vast majority of people, diets don’t do anything good, and often do very bad things. It’s disheartening to see that in a book ostensibly from a health magazine.

Fourth, the marketing of the book. The subtitle is “Four Weeks to a Leaner, Sexier, Healthier YOU!” Again, blech. I’m sexy as I am, thanks. Would it have been so hard to just replace those words with things like ‘stronger?’ Also, is it just me, or is the photo-shopping of the lovely cover woman just a bit too uncanny valley?

And finally, it bugged me that this book was written by a guy. I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who could compile a bunch of exercises, and I wish Women’s Health magazine would support those women. Also, at the end of many chapters are suggested workouts, which I appreciate, but again — full of guys. Seriously, I thought maybe I was misremembering, but I just flipped through and the one time a name stuck out that I thought might belong to a woman or non-binary person, nope. Still a dude.

Sunday

1

April 2018

0

COMMENTS

31 03 2018 Heffers

Written by , Posted in Bookshops

In the UK, the Easter holiday is a four-day weekend. This is not a thing in the US, so we decide to visit Cambridge on our first official outing outside of London. It’s a dreary day (and also happens to be the day and location of Stephen Hawking’s funeral), but we take a morning train in, grab some brunch at a local restaurant, and then wander into the city center.

Of course, I’ve done some research, so I know that we want to head to Heffers, which is part of the Blackwell’s chain of bookshops.

They are in the midst of relocating some sections, so the shop is a little challenging to navigate. Still we both manage to come away with some books that strike our fancy. I’m excited for Dear Madame President, which should be both a quick and hopeful read.

They have a nice section of classics reset in various fancy covers (see my Persuasion pick, above). They also have a large board game section, and a nice chunk of Harry Potter memorabilia.

I’ll definitely pop back in the next time we’re in Cambridge; hopefully the relocation will be complete and it’ll be a bit easier to navigate.

Sunday

1

April 2018

0

COMMENTS

What I’m Reading – 1 April 2018

Written by , Posted in What I'm Reading

Note: I’m not reading social media today because April Fool’s Day is the worst. But I’m still posting things, so enjoy!

Racism

“Now, she’s going back to prison for casting a ballot illegally — for five years. Mason was indicted on a charge of illegal voting in Tarrant County, Tex., last year and found guilty by State District Judge Ruben Gonzalez on Thursday, despite her protestations that she simply was not aware that she was barred from casting a ballot and never would have done it had she known.” Texas woman sentenced to 5 years in prison for voting while on probation (by Meagan Flynn for Washington Post)

Misogyny

“All afternoon, I was furious. I cursed out loud — alarming the woman sitting next to me at my co-working space — as I read Goldberg characterize Williamson’s belief that a quarter of the female population should be killed as simply a “controversial aspect” of an otherwise “ideologically interesting” career. He didn’t even have the bravery to use the words ‘women’ or ‘abortion’ — just “extreme tweeting”, as if calling for the hanging of millions of women was some sort of Mountain Dew-fueled quirk rather than abhorrent and dangerous extremism.” On The Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg, and hiring men who want women dead (by Jessica Valenti)

“The Atlantic’s recent personnel choices are a case in point. The magazine has just hired two new columnists, one on the left, one on the right. The left columnist, Ibram X. Kendi, is the author of Stamped from the Beginning. The monograph is a groundbreaking, painstaking history of the development of racist and anti-racist ideas in America that challenges comfortable notions of progress against bigotry. It won the National Book Award. The right columnist, Kevin D. Williamson, is a writer formerly at National Review who has referred to a nine-year-old black child as a ”primate.”” Bad Ideas Aren’t Worth Debating (by Noah Berlatsky for Huff Post)

Higher Education

“Students have controlled the building since Thursday. The occupation came a day after university President Wayne Frederick admitted Wednesday that he fired six staff who allegedly pocketed financial aid grants while also receiving reduced tuition.” Howard University students occupy campus building in the wake of massive financial aid scandal (by Joshua Eaton for Think Progress)

Native Rights

“Although there is no official data detailing the rates of missing and murdered Native women, communities on and off reservations maintain that the number is very high. As reported by Rewire.News, nearly every Native American family has a story of a female relative who has gone missing or been murdered. On some reservations, women are murdered at more than ten times the national average.” States Inch Closer to Better Reporting on Violence Against Native Women (by Mary Annette Pember for Rewire)

“Whitehorse also shared her story in the recently completed film Amá, in which British filmmaker Lorna Tucker documents the history of the IHS’ sterilization program, a part of the U.S. government’s shameful neo-eugenics policies during the 1960s to late 1970s. Amá is the Navajo word for mother. The story of sterilization of Native women is a history that has been overlooked for far too long, explained Charon Asetoyer, director of the Native American Women’s Health Education Resource Center (NAWHERC) in South Dakota. Asetoyer of the Comanche Nation is featured in the film.” ‘Amá’ and the Legacy of Sterilization in Indian Country (by Mary Annette Pember for Rewire)

“Comedy

““People see something they don’t like and they expect it to stop,” Gervais says in “Humanity.” “The world is getting worse. Don’t get me wrong, I think I’ve lived through the best 50 years of humanity. 1960 through 2015, the peak of civilization for everything. For tolerances, for freedoms, for communication, for medicine! And now it’s going the other way a little bit.” “Dumpster fire” has emerged as the favorite emblem of our present moment, but that Gervais quote feels both more apt and more tragic a metaphor: The Trump/Brexit era is a rich, famous, white, middle-aged man declaring the world to be in decline the moment he stops understanding it.” The World Is Evolving and Ricky Gervais Isn’t (by Lindy West for The New York Times)