ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

Yearly Archive: 2007

Friday

28

December 2007

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COMMENTS

Merry Christmas!

Written by , Posted in Adventures

I had an absolutely lovely Christmas. I went home to visit the family on Thursday evening. I was greeted at San Jose airport, which is undergoing construction. I’d packed my coat before checking my luggage. In addition to the obvious ‘what if they lose your luggage’ question, there was an unanticipated hiccup: San Jose’s airport is under construction, so they don’t really have gates in the traditional sense. Instead, they just park on the tarmac and you walk down past a few other parked planes and through this big tunnel to get to the terminal. It would have been cool, were it not, y’know, cold.  


Pup pup was under the weather – she scratched her cornea – so she had to wear what they call an Elizabethan Collar. She’s already blind in one eye and kind of deaf, so this added another level of confusion to her challenged navigational skills. Meaning she kept banging into the wall. Which is sad and funny, but also a bit obnoxious when it’s 1 AM (4 AM according to my body) and one just wants to go to sleep. Even better – she’s got some issues with doing her business in the house, and the collar made it worse. She’d do her business, and then walk through it. Good times.


Saturday Stephanie and I went into San Francisco to look at Union Square and have a drink. She then met up with a friend in North Beach and I went to Balboa Park to meet up with Laura and Sean, who are expecting a kid in a mere two weeks but still managed to whip up an awesome meal for a small holiday dinner party. She’s the first of my friends to have a kid. They’ll be good parents – very mellow, deal-with-it-as-it-comes kind of people.  


Sunday we hit the 49ers game, and we actually won! Well, I mean, the team won, but it was also a victory for the fans, who stuck around in a painfully bad season.


Monday night was our traditional Christmas Eve with the Decker family. We’ve been doing it since the early 90s, and we alternate homes. It’s a fun evening, and a good time to get caught up with people who I’ve known for years. It was almost a less than fun evening, as we started to smell gas in the afternoon, and had to have the utility come out and check on it. My professional training came in super handy. “Don’t touch anything.” They didn’t listen, but at least I knew what to do! Anyway, we were lucky the guy knew what he was doing, because the other option was they would have to shut off our heater until a repair person could come out. Which would have been a bit cold.


Christmas day was just great – the parents and sister were VERY generous, and clearly know me well.  The evening was a bit bizarre – watching the 5 PM news, and then a cut-in on Breaking News of a tiger loose at the zoo. Odd.

Monday

26

November 2007

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COMMENTS

Uncouth

Written by , Posted in Random

I am thrilled to be helping out with a friend’s engagement/bridal shower/party thing. It’s very low-key, and very small. Invites went out about a month ago, and last weekend I purchased all of the little favors / gifts for the guests.


At that time, one of the invited guests asked if another person would be attending. I immediately confirmed that no, they would not.  There was some concern since they recently had a bit of a falling out. The same invited guest was unsure whether she would be able to attend, so I wrote back to her again yesterday.  Her response?


“Hi Ashley,

I had e-mailed you asking if <not invited guest> was invited. If not, can you invite her? I would like her to come as well.

Thanks,

(invited guest)


Who does that? This is not an Evite gathering at a bar – it’s a very small sit-down meal. In what universe is it okay to ask that another person be invited to someone else’s bridal shower? And not five days out? Now, if the guest of honor had realized she left someone out, that’s one thing. But this isn’t the case. I was so put-off by this. It’s just so ill-mannered.


Of course, now the guest of honor feels compelled to say “sure” and have me invite her, since otherwise it becomes a big deal. I’ll of course do what she wants, because it’s her party, but what type of friend would put their friend in such an awkward situation? It’s just so rude!

Sunday

18

November 2007

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COMMENTS

It’s been so long!

Written by , Posted in Adventures

I’ve had a great month. I took a very quick trip to visit a friend, and had a relaxing time. I’m enjoying the fall in NYC – I love the colors! I spent an hour or so wandering the City today, mostly in Central Park, and it was just lovely. The sun set, and it was that time of night before dark, where everything just kind of glows. The leaves are amazing right now. It’s chilly, but I have such a warm coat that I wasn’t even noticing it.


Thanksgiving is coming up! Another orphan’s holiday over at Herman’s. Last year was so much fun – lots of mulled wine and yummy dishes. The first Thanksgiving I spent away from my folks was really hard, because (and this may seem silly) the food was all different! I’m sure that was just how I was channeling missing my family, but at the time it was all about the lack of Stove Top Stuffing (what, we are a simple people). Since I was probably 12 or 13 Thanksgiving was just me, my folks and my sister, and it was the same every year. Small, but with things we all love. But now I’ve gotten to the point where I think its fun to bring something I’m used to, and then sharing what other people bring. It really is a communal experience. And without the family drama! That was never actually issue with us (at least once it was just the four of us), but I know a lot of people stress about this because of all the other issues related to it. My folks will go spend it with their good friends, my sister will have I think a similar orphan’s day (or go to Houston to visit her friend).  


We’re also hoping to have a scaled-down Christmas. While I love getting gifts (it’s fun!), there is very little I actually need. I think we’re each agreeing one gift per person. Plus stockings (I think). We can just have fun and enjoy the tree, and each other, and maybe convince my dad to play a few games.


I love this time of year!!!

Wednesday

26

September 2007

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COMMENTS

Goin’ to the Chapel . . .

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. . . and watching other people get married!


This was a wedding weekend. A friend I’ve known since I was five and in Brownies (Girl Scouts for the extremely pre-teen set, for those of you not in the know) got married this weekend. It was surreal. I’ve had three of my dear friends get married, but they were all people I’d met in college, so I’ve always known them as “adults”, and marriage wasn’t that odd an idea. But my fried Jen, well, we’ve been through it all. We went skiing together, we went to the beach together. She was visiting me in Tahoe the first time a boy kissed me (he was SOOO cute). When we were in 7th grade we did shots . . . of Sprite. We spent a few New Year’s eves together in college, when we were both home visiting family and didn’t really want to deal with parties. I believe I also helped get her to be able to go to a party when we were 18 where (shock and horror) there weren’t going to be any adults.


And now she’s Mrs. Different Last Name. It’s SO WEIRD. I’m so excited for her. I don’t know the guy much better than I know most people I work with, since they live on the other side of the country, but she’s so happy with him, and he seems so happy with her. It’s just so cool and still SO WEIRD.


The same day I went to Jen’s wedding, I got a message from ANOTHER friend, Reagan, saying she’s engaged. SWEET! I’ve got two friends engaged right now. Well, three.  Kate and Richard are both my friends and engaged to each other.  Reagan and Lon – I don’t know Lon all that well, but he seems like a great guy, and again, Reagan seems SO HAPPY.


Congratulations to you all!!!

Friday

14

September 2007

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COMMENTS

I don’t have the patience for this

Written by , Posted in Feminism

Film With Same-Sex Parents Splits School District


There is a documentary about many different types of families – step-families and interracial families – designed to educate young children. Evesham Township, New Jersey has stopped showing it, because one of the families shown is a gay couple who adopted children.


I am completely closed minded on at least one thing. If I date someone who doesn’t think that gay people deserve the same rights as straight people, or think being gay is “evil” or a “sin”, the date is over. I can tolerate differing viewpoints on welfare, belief in god, taxation, stem cell research. But not gay rights. I’m an extremist when it comes to treating people equally.  


So this article really bothered me. Not because I don’t think that parents have a right to control what their children are exposed to (people will continue to teach their children racism, bigotry and misogyny outside of school), but because this decision means that they are controlling what OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN are exposed to. Instead of allowing parents to opt out of letting their kids watch the video, the district banned the showing of the video.  


One quote really pissed me off: “Something that controversial should have been discussed,” Ms. Stepnowski said. The children “shouldn’t learn questionable things in school that they’re not ready for and don’t understand.


“That controversial”?! “Questionable”?! Really? How is this STILL controversial? I’ve yet to see an anti-gay argument that isn’t based in religion, so if it’s controversial because of someone’s religious beliefs . . . too bad. Your religion shouldn’t govern how another person’s child is taught.


ARG.


I did, however, enjoy the quote that ends the article:


“People who don’t want the school to show the video say, ‘We can teach our own kids.’ Sure you can. But who’s going to teach you?”


Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Thursday

9

August 2007

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Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, It’s a Twister

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I got up yesterday and consulted my blackberry as I do every morning, especially when I’m on call. I saw, around 6:30, a tornado warning issued. Crazy, right. There were some major storms that work me up very early, but a tornado? Please.


I left my apartment around 7:15. It was hot and nasty and sticky already, but I only had three avenues to get across, then I could take respite in the over-cooled 6 train. I swiped my Metrocard, and heard the announcement that there was no 4, 5, or 6 train service where I needed to go because of track flooding. Bummer. Luckily, I was only about five blocks from the F train, but when I got there, it, too, was shut down. So I continued on to 59th and Lexington to try to catch the R, which goes kind of near my office. No dice. Everything was shut. At this point, it was raining a bit, and still really, really hot and humid. I started walking. Buses were packed full or missing in action, and there were dozens of people waiting to try to get on. I emailed my boss and her supervisor.  One response was “You should move back to Brooklyn.” Thanks.


I kept walking. Along the 6 line, just in case it would start running again. I contemplated trying to walk across town to get the A or C, which goes right to my office. A well-timed call to Allegra confirmed that those trains were down, too. Damn. I kept walking.  Got to Union Square (about three miles from my home) around 8:45. Still no trains. Got a page to report to the situation room at the office. Emailed back saying I’d be there . . .  eventually. Was told to take a cab. Riiiight. Because me and the other 1.5 million Manhattanites hadn’t thought of that. Not a cab in site that wasn’t full.  


I finally got to Broadway Lafayette, where I was told trains were running to Brooklyn. After 20 minutes on the world’s hottest subway platform, a Q train came. Q doesn’t usually run there, which meant it was going to be stopping a good 20-minute walk from the office. But at least I’d be in the right borough. At this point I’d walked about 4 miles in nasty heat. I was over-tired, dehydrated, sweaty, and just over it. The train went over a bridge, and I got an email from a coworker/friend asking if I was stuck and needed a ride. He picked me up at the train station, which was a saving grace.


I then walked in, washed up, and went straight to work in the sit room, where I stayed until 7:30, when I had to leave for class. Why a sit room for a storm? Because there were TWO TORNADOES. Two. One in Brooklyn and one in Staten Island. Nutty, right?

Tuesday

7

August 2007

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COMMENTS

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Written by , Posted in Adventures, Reviews

I’ve been bumped up to the advanced acting class. Woo. I’m going on auditions, and even had a call back. It’s fun and kind of weird. I sometimes get nervous, but then I remember that I’m lucky in that my whole livelihood isn’t at stake. I have a great job that pays pretty well, and I have a boss who recently told me she wants to support the acting thing, so if I get cast in things we can work around it. That’s beyond rare. So I really do just treat each audition like a rehearsal. If I screw it up, I screw it up. It’s not the end of the world. And if I get a callback or, some day, a part? That’s pretty cool.
 

I don’t know about you, but I go in Netflix spurts, where I’ll not watch any of my movies for a couple of months, and then watch one or two a day for like two weeks. I’m going through the latter, and have just seen some pretty sweet documentaries. I finally saw Jesus Camp, a documentary about evangelical and pentecostal children. CREEPY. I don’t have kids, and none of my close friends have kids, so I haven’t seen, up close, how pliable children really are. And they are so genuine. This one poor girl was talking about dancing for god, and how she shouldn’t dance for the flesh. The heck? I’m conflicted – at least these parents seem to care about their kids. But oh my, the damage they could be doing. How does it help for a kid to think in some of these ways?

 

I also just finished two other documentaries – This Film is Not Yet Rated and Maxed Out. The former is about the MPAA, and puts forth some interesting ideas (note to the sensitive – don’t watch it with your parents; the nudity is off the charts, since they show a lot of what has made movies get an NC-17 rating). I didn’t think it was necessarily a good film, but it was very interesting to see the history, the censorship, and, as it seems is often the case, the delusion of those in power.   

 

Maxed Out was a bit better done, I think, and really drove home the interesting points about consumer debt. This is another place where I get conflicted. On the one hand, why aren’t people smarter about their money? And why should the collective we have to bail you out? But on the other hand, I don’t want to be the person, or be surrounded by the person, who doesn’t have compassion for the people who make some bad decisions. Does making a bad decision, or even a string of them, mean someone should be screwed forever? Should they kill themselves out of shame or desperation? Two of the people profiled were mothers of young adults who took the campus credit card bait and ended up killing themselves because they couldn’t see a way out. I do push for personal responsibility. I just wish that applied to the companies that offer credit cards to kids with no income or people who clearly already have loads of debt. And that is why I’ll never be able to be a pure capitalist – I don’t think that the market will sort everything out to a way that is satisfactory to my ideas of right and wrong.

 

Also? Totally made me want to set a stricter budget and save up.   had a great vacation this year, and I want to be able to travel more, but also . . . yeah. I should really think about the fact that I’m not so likely to win the lottery (especially since I don’t play).

 

Finally, has anyone seen “Taboo” on National Geographic channel?  Oh man. It is crazy.

Friday

8

June 2007

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COMMENTS

Ballymane? Ballymoney? Where am I going?

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Thursday started with a trip to the Bushmills distillery on the North Coast. I drove from Derry, leaving pretty early, so the coast was very foggy, and I figured what better way to pass the time waiting for the fog to burn off than by having 12-year-old whiskey at 11 in the morning? Plus, last time I was here I visited the Guinness Storehouse and the Jameson Distillery, so how could I miss Bushmills? I guess all that’s left is Bailey’s. I’m also surprised to find I rather liked the whiskey. Huh. Didn’t think I liked the really hard stuff, but after enjoying bourbon a few weeks ago and now this – maybe I’m growing up!


After that it was a very quick drive to Giant’s Causeway. Finn McCool (I think) is the giant that gives the geological site it’s name.  Google him for the story. It’s kind of entertaining. Anyway, there are some gorgeous cliffs there, and great hiking, but the coolest are these huge stones that kind of remind me of those oyster cracker they give out with soup. Anyway, they are pretty big, and just not what one would expect to find. I spent about an hour just walking around, then went on to the Carrick-a-rede rope bridge. Basically, it’s this 30-meter-high bridge the local fishermen put up each March and take down in the fall to get out to this little island which is right in the salmon migration path. The water was amazingly clear – I really wanted to try to go in, but there wasn’t really a good way to get to the beach. It reminded me a bit like Vieques, or even Lake Tahoe on a really good day. I took loads of pictures, so you’ll get to see.


I got back into Belfast around 4, returned the car, and relaxed. This morning, up early again to catch the train to Dublin, where I’ve been exploring for the past few hours. Vanessa is about to meet me, and then we head to a suburb where a party is being held for one of her friends. A perfect way to end a fabulous trip! Back in NYC by afternoon tomorrow . . . looking forward to my own bed.

Wednesday

6

June 2007

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COMMENTS

To the left, to the left

Written by , Posted in Adventures

That Beyonce song has been in my head all morning, as I, for the first time, drove on the left side of the road, in a car with the steering wheel on the right side. I am still alive.


Last night in Belfast I wandered the Botanic Gardens next to Queen’s university. They aren’t large, but they are lovely. There is a great lawn, where I sat for awhile to finish the book on the 1981 Hunger Strike. It was really peaceful until a few kids (well, teens) showed up to play, very loudly. I quickly left and discovered the rose garden, which again, was not overdone or huge, but simple and effective. I looped through it for a good 20 minutes, just looking at each different variety, and got some really great photos.  There was a couple with three tiny terriers on the outside of the garden – every time I looped by, the dogs went NUTS and starting chasing me and barking. But they were the size of hamsters, so it was kind of hilarious.


This morning I picked up my VW Golf and managed to get all the way from Belfast to Derry without getting lost, and without crashing. I even found the B&B where I’m staying, AND a parking spot in a non-limited zone without getting lost. It was marvelous.  The B&B is really cute, and the bathrooms are en suite – a term I don’t hear often in the US, since I think in most places I’ve stayed every room has a bathroom. Anyway, it’s a nice surprise at a B&B to have my very own toilet and shower. The owner is nice and gave me a map and outlined places I should see, and even recommended places to get dinner tonight and listen to music.


It’s a beautiful, sunny day (about 22 C, which is mid 70s F, I think), and I set right out to see Rossville Road, where the Bloody Sunday murders took place. By saying “murders” (and referring to Derry, and not Londonderry – lots of the signs here had the London part painted over), I’m identifying with the republicans. I went over to the road and visited the newly-opened Free Derry Civil Rights museum. I believe it is run by family members of the 13 who died on January 30, 1972, or at least I believe that now, as after I paid the fee, the gentleman told me about what I would be seeing, and ended by letting me know he is the brother of Michael Kelly, one of the 13 who was killed that day (he was only 17). That made it even more real. 


Throughout the museum are placards explaining the history of the Bogside, an area where the Catholics were forced to live, and the gerrymandering of districts that resulted in the loyalists being very over-represented in the government. The Civil Rights movement for Catholics here gained steam around the same time as the US Civil Right movement, and it was pretty violent. The museum had a great interactive section with audio and video, including images of protest posters, overhead film of the march that day, and songs written about it. Equally disturbing is the fact that they have the “soundtrack” playing throughout the museum. It’s a compilation of the sounds of that day – people screaming, gun shots, people yelling. It was really overwhelming. Also, my timing is interesting – the results of the new Bloody Sunday commission (the first one was a joke) are due soon, and there have been some controversial comments in the news about it.


After that I was a bit drained, so I went out to see the murals in the area (I’ve taken so many pictures between here and Belfast of murals alone that I might have to do a separate book of just them). I then walked the city walls (it’s the last walled city in Ireland), got lunch at a cafe and finally stamped the last of the postcards (friends in Seattle and San Francisco – they are on their way!). I’m off to explore more of the city now. Tomorrow I’ll drive along the coast to Giant’s Causeway and the rope bridge (which I KNOW my dad would hate, given my memory of a similar bridge in Vancouver, Canada), then back down to Belfast. Friday I go back to Dublin to see Vanessa again, and we’re going out to a party that evening, which will be a great way to end the trip.


I have had so much fun. I know it’s not over yet, but I am getting more reflective about this. Traveling alone these past couple of days has been interesting – I’m so glad I had Allegra and John and Richard and Vanessa the first ten days or so, but I’ve also enjoyed having time to myself. I think I’ll come back to NYC refreshed and ready to enjoy the summer. I’m not bummed it’s ending – I’m just so thankful that it happened at all!

Tuesday

5

June 2007

0

COMMENTS

They wanted to call them the “Belfast Bombers”

Written by , Posted in Adventures

Belfast is lovely today. Coolish but not cold, and overcast but not raining. My hotel is great – kind of hip (with a large bar downstairs) but not over the top. And in a great location. Last night I wandered out to the university section for dinner.


This morning up a bit later than normal (8 am), and then off to explore. At Paula’s suggestion, I visited the linen hall library. They have a huge section devoted to northern Ireland political history. I found it appropriate to spend some time there reading my book “Ten Men Dead”, about the 1981 hunger strike. Paula, if you’re reading this, I also tried to visit Ruby Tuesday’s, but alas it has been replaced by another restaurant.


After that it was off to City Hall for a tour – we happened to be there when the Mayor-elect was coming in, so he said a quick hello to us. He was just elected mayor last night. He’s the first Lord Mayor to be elected to a second term since they instituted the new rules.  The Lord Mayor is elected by the councilors, who are elected by the people, and they serve just one year as Lord Mayor (4 years as councilors), and cannot run in consecutive terms. The building itself is really ornate and gorgeous – it was damaged severely during the blitz in WWII, but only the great hall (the dome was unscathed). It’s a really cool building.


I then caught the bus tour around town – I did that last time, but this time I knew a bit more about what I was seeing, AND it made the trip out to Stormont, the Northern Ireland parliament building. That’s been in the news as of late – it was shut for a few years, but now a power sharing agreement has been reached, so I believe it will reopen soon. It’s also a good way to see the Falls Road and Shankhill road areas, which have the famous murals and the massive peace wall.


Late this afternoon I did my part to help the Belfast economy. Now it’s back to the hotel for a rest before I venture out to explore the botanic gardens in the evening. Tomorrow, on to Derry, where I will make my first attempt at driving on the left side of the road.  Wish me luck!