ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

Yearly Archive: 2011

Friday

16

December 2011

1

COMMENTS

A Woman and Her Experience

Written by , Posted in Feminism

I’m pro-choice, and with the recent Plan B discussion found this blog to be especially relevant. It’s great to read one woman’s story about the real experience of a medical abortion. I’ve linked to the first post in series; if you click on the archive for December you can read the rest. Some of it is pretty graphic, so if blood gets you feeling not awesome, you might want to just read the overview in the beginning.

One Woman’s Experience

Monday

28

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Europe in November

Written by , Posted in Adventures

It’s 11PM in Seattle. I’ve been up since about 6:30, having gotten about five or six hours sleep last night, after being up for 26 hours the day before as we made our way from Munich to London, London to Chicago and finally Chicago to Seattle. It was an awesome, wonderful trip, although it is so nice to be home to enjoy this month of holiday festivities.

London was a bit quick – we were only there for three nights, and we spent much of that time seeing my friends. It was fantastic (as always) to spend time with Kate and Richard, and to get to have a bar night with my LSE friends. People are doing really interesting things – working in a jobs that they may or may not have seen themselves working when they were at University. Even though there are occasional Facebook status updates, chats, or even the occasional transatlantic phone call, it’s just so much better to have real conversations in person.

Austin and I spent time strolling the city, but we didn’t do many tourist-type activities. The trip was too short though, but I know we’ll be back.. As long as I have friends living there, I’ll visit as much as I can. It’s rough that it’s so far away though, especially now that I’m in Seattle as opposed to NYC.

After London we took the Eurostar down to Paris and stayed in the second arrondissement. The hotel was mostly great – when we couldn’t sleep because of noise from a bar (not the hotel’s), they moved us to a nicer room a few floors up. We did a lot of walking (a LOT of walking), so it was great to be able to come back to the hotel and relax in a good room before heading out again in the evening,
It was lovely to have a big chunk of time in Paris; we were there for six full days and nights. That meant that we didn’t have to shove a bunch of things into a day, and could enjoy the city and go on adventures. We went to the Musee D’Orsay one day, the Louvre another. We took our time, enjoying long meals and for the most part not racing around. Other than some pretty standard travel-related stress, it was such a relaxing time. And the city is just so gorgeous, that even when I found myself fretting over travel plans or concerned about why my credit card didn’t work somewhere, I was able to just look around and enjoy the scenery. Plus, the fact that I was there with Austin made it that much more fun.

The food in Paris was great, as expected. Most evenings we’d stay pretty close to the hotel, as there were tons of options available. I was excited to be able to have champagne at every meal; Austin sampled many different red wines throughout the week. I tried macaroons where I could, and thoroughly enjoyed the Laduree ones, which are alleged to be the best in Paris. The lemon ones there are amazing, and I would eat oh so many more if I could get ones like that here in Seattle. I was able to enjoy a few baguettes with ham and cheese, which just taste better over there. But with all the walking we did every day, I rationalized that I needed the fuel.

One of the coolest things we did on the trip – or anywhere else, frankly – was a private tour at Moet Chandon in Eperney, about 90 minutes outside of Paris. They make Dom Perignon champagne, and we were able to get the private tour thanks to someone Austin knows. I learned so much about how champagne is made (did you know there’s a group that decides what percentage of the grapes in the region can be harvested each year, to ensure low supply?), and saw tons of bottles in various stages of the aging process. Afterwords we got a private tasting of the 2002 vintage. Oh man, was it good. So, so good.

We made sure we had plenty of down time, and during that time one thing I did notice was how much I value good information. We would watch one of the three or four English-language channels on TV and Al Jazeera English’s news coverage was consistently excellent. During the ridiculous raid of the Occupy Wall Street camps (Bloomberg, what were you thinking?) Al Jazeera had regular updates and video footage; it was hours before CNN International even picked up the story. Stories on other stations were also so much more in-depth than what I feel I see here. It’s unfortunate, but will at the very least get me watching Al Jazeera English online regularly when I’m interested in getting more about a story.

After our week in Paris we took an overnight train to Germany. That was an adventure for sure. The cabins on the trains are fascinating from an engineering and design perspective – two bunks (a third can be pulled down if needed), the bottom of which converts in to seats. A tabletop stored on the wall that you pull off and attach to a couple of recessed spaces on the wall. A corner unit with doors that open up to a mirror, sink, and towels. A lock and key so you can leave to use the restroom (or the shower!). Neither of us slept well at all, but it was such a fun experience. Travel and hotel all in one!

We arrived in Munich super early, but luckily our hotel room was ready! After a nap we explored the town. I’d visited with choir the summer after high school but could really only remember bits and pieces. The highlight was the Deutches museum, which is basically is a massive science, industry and engineering museum. It was fantastic – we spent four hours there and if we hadn’t been tired could probably spent a couple more. We also went (twice) to the Hofbrauhaus, and I discovered I could actually enjoy sausages and sauerkraut.

Because the holidays are near, the Munich Christmas markets were just getting started, which was a nice bonus for someone like me. Plus it meant we could get such traditional Bavarian fare as … burritos. As an fYI, German burritos, not so bad, actually!

Overall the trip was wonderful and left me relaxed and happy. It was a long time to be away from home and work, but I think it was just the right length – we were ready to come home but not dying to leave, and not sad about leaving either. I had a wonderful time and feel so fortunate to be able to do these types of things, especially with someone as easy to travel with as Austin.
I am, however, happy to not be going to an airport again for a month.

Friday

14

October 2011

0

COMMENTS

The 99%

Written by , Posted in Politics

I have been wanting to post something on here for awhile, but I’ve kept putting it off. Should I write about the trials of my latest move? The ineptness of the Sallie Mae system in processing automatic debits? The challenges – and benefits – of living with someone?

All of those topics reek of naval-gazing. And this is a blog, so I suppose that would be okay. But seeing the post today by a friend who I highly respect but find I disagree with on some social issues spurred me to post on this instead: the 99%.

The post in question is the one that’s been making the rounds on Facebook and other media sites: it’s in the same vein as the “I am the 99%”, but it’s clearly a mockery of it. Instead of posting the image, I’d like to address, point by point, the issues raised in the note. I think it’s a great way to frame the discussion, as so many of the attempts at zingers the writer shares actually illuminate the very problems the authors chooses to ignore.

I am a college senior about to graduate completely debt free.
That’s fantastic! I too graduated college completely debt free. I was lucky in that my parents and family members had the foresight to set aside money for my education. If it weren’t for them, I would have had to attend a different college (one that was not as good a fit for me as the one I ultimately attended), or taken out a lot of loans

I pay for all of my living expenses by working 30+ hours a week making barely above minimum wage.
I too worked during college. Seems we have some things in common. Interesting though – that minimum wage you point out you barely exceed with your pay? You realize that’s something put in place to ensure that workers aren’t entirely exploited. Without that minimum wage, the job that helped you make it through school may not have paid enough. You’re certainly lucky that some people who came before you had the foresight to think about some sort of social safety net to help people just trying to get by.

I chose a moderately priced in-state public university.
That’s a great choice. You know that public universities are paid for with public funds, right? A mix of tax dollars and tuition. The tax dollars invested in education used to be seen as an investment in our future – an investment in people like you. Unfortunately, because of our current budget situation, which originated in many ways with the financial industry failures, many in-state universities are seeing serious cuts, and shifting the cost of education further to students. So while you may be attending a ‘moderately priced’ university right now, the economy may mean that the tuition of that university is going to go up. And up. I suppose you could choose to ignore the impact this will have on the people who come after you, since you got your education, but some of us are concerned not just about ourselves, but about the next generation. And the generation after that.
I started saving $ for school at age 17.
That’s awesome. Where did the money come from? Did you have a job? Were you lucky enough that you were able to save the income you earned, as it was not needed by your family because your parents were laid off? If so, congratulations. I hope you recognize this is not everyone’s reality.
I got decent grades in high school & received 2 scholarships which cover 90% of my tuition.
Really? That’s great. I got decent grades too – a 4.0, actually. But the in-state schools in my state (over a decade ago, when the economy was still good) did not offer scholarships to me to cover 90% of my tuition. The National Merit Scholarship I received would have covered about one quarter’s worth of tuition at an in-state school. Again, when tuition was lower than it is now. I hope you realize that your experience, while true for you, is not applicable to everyone in your position, nor even people who were ostensible in a better situation (if we’re counting higher grades as ‘better’).
I currently have a 3.8 GPA.
Sweet! What’s your major? I’m assuming you’ve chosen a reasonable one that couldn’t in any way face job shortages. Like finance, perhaps? I mean, when I was in school, a four-year-degree in finance with a 3.8 GPA would mean nothing but high times ahead! Unless, of course, your chosen industry goes under, and the jobs are not available to you. What will you do then?

I live comfortably in a cheap apartment knowing I can’t have everything I want.  I don’t eat out every day or even once a month.  I have no credit card, new car, iPad, or smart phone — and I’m perfectly OK with that.
Most people know they can’t have everything they want. Do you realize this? I don’t think you do. This entire posting of yours gives me the impression that the information you’ve received in your life suggests that the only reason someone might want for something is because they failed. Do you realize this is not the case? That people can work as hard as – or harder than – you and still not get ahead? That they can cook at home every night, take public transportation and use a phone from the 90s and still not have enough money to get ahead? I hope this isn’t news to you. Oh, and here’s a little tip about life – having a credit card is actually a good thing. It helps you to build credit, which you’ll need at other stages in your life. If you have no loans and no credit card I suggest you look to get one and start building yourself some credit. Otherwise you won’t have a chance to buy a home any time soon …
If I did have debt I would not blame Wall Street or the Government for my own bad decisions.
Why do you associate debt with a bad decision? Some debt can be quite good. Student loans are an example – if one is in a state where tuition has had to increase as a result of the financial crisis, or if one is not eligible for a scholarship that covers housing and books, they may need to take on some debt to get that education. Additionally, the problem is not your “own bad decisions.” The problem is having the right information to make informed decisions. Lawyers and people with degrees in finance should not be the only ones who feel safe getting a home loan, but that sometimes seems the case these days. Philosophically, I wonder: do you think someone is at fault if they make a decision with information they did not know, and realistically probably could not know, was bad? 
I live beneath my means to continue saving for the future.
That works as long as you have no unexpected expenses. What happens when your first job doesn’t offer health care, and you, being responsible, self-insure, but with a plan that has a pretty high deductible. One slip down the stairs could wipe out that savings. What if the job you find requires a long commute, and your used car breaks down? Or when, like me, you end up having to spend nearly $2,000 to address dental problems, even though you’ve been taking care of your teeth and going to the dentist every six months your entire life? Shit happens, and all the planning in the world can’t change that. Living beneath your means to save is obviously a good idea, but the idea that this will somehow make you immune from future trouble is a bit naive.
I expect nothing to be handed to me, and will continue to work my @$$ off for everything I have.
Are you really working your ass off for everything you have? You have a 3.8 – is that in a difficult major? An easy one? Did you choose a field that came naturally? Did you have supportive parents, or teachers, or friends to help you through high school? College? And even if you didn’t, why do you feel so entitled? Why do you think that all you have is solely because you worked hard? Those scholarships you received – you know you got them and someone else – possibly someone who works JUST as hard as you – did not. So that person worked their ass off and didn’t get the handout you got. Why do you feel superior to them? And why do you seem to think that treating people fairly, treating them like human beings who deserve honest information, is equivalent to an underserved handout? Is honesty in business now some sort of privilege reserved only for a few people?
That’s how it’s supposed to work.
Perhaps. But reality should show you that it isn’t always how it works. Just because it seems to have worked for you so far doesn’t mean that it’s going to stay that way.
I am NOT the “99%” and whether or not you are is your decision.
You’re the 1%? Really? Congratulations on the billions of dollars! Oh, you meant that figuratively, right? Well guess what – you may choose to live in ignorance and assume that you have what you have solely because you work hard, and anyone not doing well just made a bad decision, but the rest of us, those who live in reality, we know differently.

And when you can’t find a job, or lose your savings, or find that a decision that seemed good at the time was based on bad information, we will still be here for you. Because the 99%? We care about other people. Perhaps you could look into that – it’s a pretty awesome way to live.

Monday

15

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

The 358: now with even more verbal assault

Written by , Posted in Random

I haven't been riding the 358 as often as I did when I first moved to my new place. I discovered a different, very quick bus to and from work, so I really only end up on the 358 if I'm going between downtown and my place on the weekends.
 
Saturday I was heading up to my neighborhood to meet up with a friend, so I took the 358. About one stop after I got on, I felt someone spit in my ear. But it wasn't a nasty sort of spit – it was more like someone blowing really loudly and quickly at the side of my head. For a brief moment I though Austin had caught the same bus and was joking around.
 
But no. It was a woman who had the appearance of a meth addict and was moving about in a way that lead me to believe she had some serious mental health issues. Once I turned toward the noise she began to scream at me.
 
Woman: "Do you know Tanisha?"
 
Me: "No."
 
Woman: "You dating <guy's name I couldn't make out>."
 
Me: "No"
 
She then continued to scream in my face about how I shouldn't covet other people's men. That lasted for about 30 seconds. Once she took a break to breathe, I turned back around and went back to my book. I was a bit concerned that she would do something else, like hit the back of my head or attempt to spit on me again, but instead she moved a couple of seats back and continued to scream at me and about me for about three minutes, at which point the bus driver finally came on over the loudspeaker and told her she'd need to be quiet or get off the bus.
 
I imagine driving that route is exhausting and a bit scary for the drivers, but I was a bit annoyed that he had no concern when the woman was spitting on me and screaming quite literally an inch from my face, but as soon as it went on long enough to annoy HIM, well, then it was an issue.
 
I decided not to switch seats because it seemed like that might provoke her, so I sat staring at my book until my stop. I got off and checked to make sure she hadn't followed me, and then went home.
 
I'm kind of over that bus route. I've been propositioned on it (at least the guy was offering a decent amount of money), been near people arguing with each other or talking to themselves, seen people drinking at 10 in the morning, and overheard a number of disturbing phone conversations. But this was the first time I actually felt like I was unsafe. And that's super annoying.

Monday

18

July 2011

1

COMMENTS

Comment ça va?

Written by , Posted in Adventures

I am learning French.
 
I can remember a time, probably when I was in high school, when I had no desire to ever go to France. I thought Italy, Spain and Ireland were the places I wanted to be, and I couldn't really understand why people would ever go to France. I bought into the stereotype of French snobbery, I thought the food sounded disgusting (escargot? frog legs?), and I figured I wouldn't be able to communicate because the French hated to speak English.
 
In 2009 I went to visit Kate and Richard and decided I should really go see Paris. It was just a train ride away, and I wanted to see a new country. I was sold within minutes of stepping outside of the Metro. I knew two days would not be enough.
 
Once I moved to London I visited Paris three more times – once for my 30th birthday, once for a half marathon, and once for Bastille Day. Each time I visited favorite locations and discovered new places. And each time I travelled with people who were either fluent in or had at least passing knowledge of French. It was fantastic, and although not necessary (as I found quickly that if I simply asked in French if someone spoke English, they were usually fluent and quite happy to converse in my native tongue), seemed very, very cool.
 
This fall I'll be returning to Paris (and hopefully visiting areas of France that are new to me), this time with Austin, who has about the same level of French knowledge as I: namely, a couple of verses from pop songs, and some food vocabulary (cafe au lait! croissant! escargot!).
 
So, a decision was made: to try to learn some French. Austin did the research, and found Fluenz, this fantastic language software. It's great for many reasons, and in my experience is much better than Rosetta Stone. You actually need to practice pronunciation, and sentence construction, and spelling. Exercises include typing what you hear, typing in French what you read in English, and matching French phrases to their English translations. Each lesson is about 60-90 minutes, and includes one basic conversation, 10 minutes of explanation, and another 45-60 minutes of exercises. The software can be installed on multiple computers, so I have it on my laptop and Austin has it on his computer, meaning we can complete lessons together or on our own. There's also an accompanying CD, which I hope to start listening to soon.
 
The plan is to complete levels one and two before we leave for our trip. We have to complete two lessons a week to do that, and I think we can manage it. We've completed five lessons, and so far I feel comfortable ordering food and drink, exchanging pleasantries, saying I don't want something, and working with the verbs 'to want' and 'to be'. It's really encouraging. I can't believe I might actually be able to learn a new language!

Friday

10

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

The Life I Can Save

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Peter Singer is an interesting (and at times controversial) philosopher. He writes on a lot of issues that are of interest to me – you can read more about his writing and work here. Some utterly despise his view of the world – he's been removed from conferences due to protests, often focusing on his opinions about the rights of parents in making decisions about the lives of their terminally ill infants.

About a month ago I finished his book The Life You Can Save, which my mother kindly purchased for me during a visit last fall. He writes about extreme poverty from a philosopher's perspective but with a practical slant. He spends time talking about the problems of poverty in the world, then explores the arguments people use to justify not contributing more to help others. Those parts could stand alone as interesting reads. He then goes into the problems some charities have, in terms of their effectiveness and percentage of money used to help people as compared to other similar organizations.

At the end, there is a practical call to action: give. Give more than you have. And give to those in the most extreme poverty.

The book struck a chord with me, to the point where I've signed the the pledge. I'm not going to put my salary details here, but what I did was look at what percentage of $105,000 my salary is, and then took that percentage of 5%. So if I made 21,000, I would give 1% of my salary. Each month I'll set aside that amount and give it to one of the organizations ranked top by GiveWell.

This month? VillageReach.

I'm excited about this. It's also helping to motivate me to make some more intelligent decisions with my own money so I can be in a better position to give more, save more, and still live the life I want for myself. And I've posted about it tonight because I'm hopeful that perhaps a couple of you will check out the book, check out the the website, and maybe, if your life situation allows it right now, take the pledge.

Tuesday

7

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Beautiful Day

Written by , Posted in Adventures, Reviews

When I was in college I saw my first U2 concert. I think it came about because my boyfriend at the time liked the band. We went to see the band at the Tacoma Dome on January 10 2001, with PJ Harvey opening as part of the Elevation Tour. I obviously knew who U2 was, but I didn't realize how many of their songs I knew. I loved that concert, and came home with a desire to get the band's CDs and listen as much as possible.
 
I saw them again later on that same tour, this time in November 2001, at the Staples Center in Los Angeles with my coworker Nicole. This was just a couple of months after September 11, and I remember it having a very different feel. No Doubt opened, and the show was once again amazing.
 
In October 2005 I saw them in NYC, at Madison Square Garden, with my friend Michelle, as part of their Vertigo Tour. Keane opened, and, of course, it was fantastic.
 
I was supposed to see them in September 2009 for the first leg of the 360 tour. I wasn't able to go, but for good reason: I had to be in London for school. Herman and Kathleen kindly took the tickets off my hands, and I resigned myself to the fact that I would not be seeing them on this tour.
 
About two months ago, I was TV and messing around on the internet. I don't have cable anymore, but I pay the Hulu Plus fee to be able to access some TV shows after they air. The catch is they make you watch a couple of commercials during each show. On that night, one of those commercials was for U2 360 in Seattle in June.
 
Huh?
 
Then I remembered that U2 had to reschedule a bunch of dates last year due to Bono's back surgery. Could I really be that lucky? I immediately went online and saw there were tickets available. June 4 – a Saturday night. Perfect! Austin agreed to come with me, and I bought tickets in the nosebleed section of Qwest field.
 
Saturday was a gorgeous, gorgeous day in Seattle. The kind that makes it okay to sit through months and months of clouds and rain. The stadium was pretty full when Lenny Kravitz took the stage. It never ceases to amaze me that U2 can get people – Lenny Kravitz, No Doubt – to open for them when they could go on large tours themselves. I knew most of the songs Lenny Kravitz played, and it was a great, high-energy set.
 
Speaking of sets – the physical set for this tour is ridiculous. Check it out. It takes days to construct and deconstruct – we could see it taking shape from my office on Friday – and does some amazing things. The video screens move, the bridges from the inner stage to the outer stage move. It's huge, it weighs loads, and it fascinates me from an engineering standpoint.
 
About 45 minutes passed between the end of the Lenny Kravitz set and the start of the U2 set. When "Space Oddity" from David Bowie came on the PA system, the crowd started cheering, as many had read (as I had) that it was the song that played right before U2 performs.
 
They took the stage, and I was giddy. Giddier than I have been in relation to a show in a long time. I hadn't been that unwaveringly happy from a show since I saw the Beatles' "Love" Cirque du Soleil show a few years ago.
 
The show was fantastic. The set list included so many songs I love: I Will Follow, Mysterious Ways, Elevation, Until The End Of The World, All I Want Is You, Stay (Faraway, So Close!), Beautiful Day, Pride (In The Name Of Love), Miss Sarajevo, Vertigo, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Walk On, One, and With or Without You.
 
The Walk On performance was especially amazing. I love that song – I find it to be inspiring and an example of lovely songwriting. It was played after a discussion of and then a recorded statement by Aung San Suu Kyi, for whom the song was originally written. The lights were down, and volunteers from Amnesty International brought electric candles onstage inside light boxes with the Amnesty symbol on them. It was gorgeous and just a lovely, lovely moment.
 
There was even a message from the space! Commander Kelly was projected on the screen, both making comments and showing some posters with words on it. Only U2 could make something like that happen.
 
The concert was amazing, Utterly and completely unforgettable. I am so happy I got the chance to go  and that, with today's technology, I can be reminded of it via pictures other have taken, such as the ones on Seattlest.

Wednesday

18

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

When Should We Trust Her To Make That Call?

Written by , Posted in Feminism

There have been a lot of discussions lately about reproductive rights. Some were hoping that the Republicans would hold out on agreeing to a new budget until there was no more federal funding for Planned Parenthood. Some seem to not understand rape, and so were looking to rewrite laws to define rape as only being forcible (so if you were roofied, too bad!), withholding access to abortion if one couldn’t prove that one had been raped by that definition. The choice people talk about often is abortion, with other services provided by places like Planned Parenthood often getting little to no coverage.

But this article is about a different kind of reproductive choice. It’s about the choice to not have children at all. To essentially guarantee that outcome by choosing sterilization. And it’s about how hard that elective surgery can be to obtain. How doctors are reluctant, especially with women who don’t yet have children, who aren’t married, or who are younger, to perform or even refer people for surgery.

I have no desire to have kids. I do not want to be pregnant. I do not want to reproduce. I do not want children. It’s something I’ve been clear on for many, many years, yet it’s something that some people can’t seem to accept. I remember during the time when I was looking at options for health coverage, my mother kept trying to steer me to ones that had maternity coverage, ‘just in case.’ My, but that is an awkward discussion, explaining that I’m not having children. Seriously not having children.

But back to the article, and the issues in it. There seems to be an expectation that all women not only should want children but will want children, if given enough time. That there’s a one-size-fits-all concept of family, and that concept must involve children, and that no matter what, eventually all people will want them. To the point that some doctors apparently are either so scared that younger women will change their minds and blame them, or just don’t trust the women to know themselves.

However, I have to admit that on first read, I did think about how I would react to a 22-year-old who asked for sterilization. I’d probably be concerned because I know opinions can change. But I don’t necessarily think that is the motivation behind the people who refuse 22-year-olds – or 40-year-olds – this procedure. I think there is a bit of judgment, a bit of paternalism, some fear, and a lot of not understanding how someone could choose a life path that doesn’t match what everyone seems to think we all should follow. We seem fine with 22-year-olds who want to get large artificial bits of man-made material put into their chests. It’s not considered odd for 25-year-olds to have their noses reconstructed, or to have fat sucked out of their stomachs and thighs. Those are pretty serious surgeries, but I don’t see doctors turning women away.

It’s interesting, because part of me understands concern about the decisions people could make, and the regrets they could have about those decisions. But we seem to allow decisions of the same import as long as they fit with what we think is the ‘right’ way to live. Trying to make yourself conventionally pretty by reconstructing your face or body? Have at it! Bucking the expectation that all women will or should want kids? No way. Not until you’re older, by which point society is CERTAIN you will change your mind.

I know there are some other options, but those options seem somewhat silly when one is certain about their choice to not have children. Why should someone take the pill every day, or the patch once a week, or have something artificial inserted into their body because someone else is uncomfortable with the decision the woman has made?

I realize this isn’t the most pressing issue of the day. But it’s interesting to me, from a philosophical perspective, and it was nice to see it discussed somewhere other than in my mind.

Wednesday

4

May 2011

1

COMMENTS

A Milestone

Written by , Posted in Adventures

(I know there’s a lot going on internationally these days, and at some point I’ll comment on that. My mind is still trying to process it all, so instead I thought I’d post on something a little lighter in the meantime.)

I’ve had a goal for awhile now. Over the past two years I’ve run seven half marathons. My first time was 2:09, and subsequent races have been between 2:05 and (during the summer in NYC) 2:26. I’ve gotten my training times down to sub-9 miles only to come down with a cold and have a setback. But I had hopes for this next race.

This past weekend we went up to Vancouver for the half marathon. My times leading up to this race led me to believe I could do it; I ran 12-mile training runs on pace to finish a half at 1:58 or 1:59. I was feeling really, really good. 

But as the race approached my knees started to hurt. As in, they hurt even when I was just sitting or walking. I even managed to give myself a blister walking around town the day before the race. I wasn’t trying to psych myself out, but I realized that it was possible it wasn’t going to happen this time, and I shouldn’t push myself to the point of injury just to break this one barrier.

On Sunday morning, after an evening of very yummy carbohydrates and a good night of sleep, I got up, got ready and headed down to the start line. It was sunny and crisp and completely clear. I started at a good pace and just felt good. The course was well supported, with water and gatorade every kilometer or so. There were people cheering us on all along the city street part of the race, and the “go Ashley!” cheers I got (thanks to the race organizers putting names on our bibs) really helped motivate me and keep me going. I probably also got a boost from listening to the “Sex and Other Human Activities” podcast, which is hilarious and not at all appropriate for those with innocent sensibilities. It’s hard to focus on being tired when you’re laughing. It may use up a little more energy, but it certainly kept me going mentally, especially as I was heading up the steep hill at mile 8 in Stanley Park.

With about three miles to go on the course I realized I could really do it this time. I would have to really slow down to almost a walk to not do it. At mile 12 I switched from podcasts to music, and with a little help from Outkast’s Hey Ya and Beyonce’s Crazy, I did it. 1:55:20 after starting the race, I crossed the finish line. That moment was – well, a it was honestly a little overwhelming. I have been working hard and training in horrible weather. I’ve gotten up at 4:45 to run, and I’ve run between evening appointments. There’s something pretty amazing about the feeling I got when I realized that I actually could do something like that if I put my mind and energy to it. And today, when I started my five-mile run as I continue training for my next half marathon at the end of June even though all I wanted to do was lay on my couch and watch something on Netflix, I reminded myself that I’ve done it once and I can do it again.

To cap it all off, last night, I was treated to a surprise deep tissue massage at a wonderful spa, followed by a yummy homemade dinner, all courtesy of my favorite video game programmer. I’m a very, very lucky lady these days, and whenever work gets overwhelming, or I feel stressed, I try to remind myself of that.

Monday

28

March 2011

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