ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

Monthly Archive: October 2014

Tuesday

21

October 2014

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COMMENTS

On My Own (for like three days)

Written by , Posted in Adventures

For the first time since we moved in together three years ago, the Mister is out of town and I am not joining him. I’m very happy for him to have a chance to go to a work event where I’m sure he’ll have a lot of fun.

But I’m more happy for me, because I get the kittens ALL TO MYSELF! Seriously, it’s amazing. Tigger has already crawled into my lap for snuggles. I’ve just ordered a movie on Amazon (a comedy about abortion, which should have just been called ‘Hey, Ashley, You’ll Like This One’), and will soon be enjoying the worst pizza in the country. Only downside is I’ve got some work to do tonight as well.

But that’s okay. Because, as I said before, I get the kittens ALL TO MYSELF.

01 10 Cuddled together

 

Monday

20

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Choose Your Own Autobiography

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Three Stars (two for the book and one for the premise)

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As we made our way to the gate before a two-hour flight home last night, we spotted this book. I knew it had come out recently, and realized that the format (ostensibly a ‘choose your own adventure’-style autobiography) would probably lend itself better to a physical book. I picked it up and read it continuously, from waiting in line to board the plane until we caught a shuttle to our car back home. I read it on the elliptical this morning, and finished up the last ten of the nearly 300 pages after dinner tonight.

Now, despite his start as Doogie Houser, M.D., I mostly associate Mr. Harris with Barney Stinson, his character on my favorite sitcom, How I Met Your Mother. As my husband can attest, I will re-watch the shit out of that show on Netflix Streaming, and when I’m felling sad I’ll seek out the blooper reels online for a guaranteed laugh. I had high hopes for this book, but I’m a bit disappointed. It’s not the best comedic memoir I’ve read, nor is it even one of my favorites. (And if you check out my CBR5 reviews, you’ll know that I read a LOT of comedic memoirs, so I do have a frame of reference).

The trick he chooses – writing the entire book in the second person, turning the reader (“you”) into “Neil Patrick Harris” – is a fun one. It does allow for some unexpected moments, although I must admit I didn’t actually choose any adventures; I just read the book straight through, and it worked just fine. Mr. Harris is a national treasure, so I feel a bit odd being critical of the book, but aside from the occasional clever bits, I don’t actually feel like I got much out of reading the book. I mean, I enjoyed learning about his early career, and his experiences dating, and the choices he’s made in life, but the second person convention sort of allows Mr. Harris to write his story as a removed observer, preventing any sort of real connection between the author and the reader.

The book is also obviously going to be filled with enough dropped names to sink a ship, and that makes sense. That’s been his crowd since he was sixteen. But there’s something a bit off-putting about a chapter going on and on about gosh golly gee how cool is it to hang out with Elton John in Greece? I don’t think Mr. Harris is insincere, or bragging, there’s just something a little strange about how it’s presented. I also have some issues with the device he uses of having some folks pen letters to him to include in the book, that basically just go on and on about how great he is. I’m assuming they are real letters; they aren’t gushing enough to be satirical, they’re just sort of, I don’t know, really self-indulgent. And obviously any memoir is going to be self-indulgent. I don’t know – I’m having trouble articulating because I really want to like this book, and I really still do like Mr. Harris, and putting one’s life story essentially up for critique is impressive as hell, but at the same time … this book just wasn’t for me. I’d give it two stars, but the originality bumps it up to three for me.

Sunday

19

October 2014

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COMMENTS

What I’m Reading: October 19, 2014

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Gender and Sexuality

– ‘No matter what we did, we were always going to be otherizing Maura in some way. And in the same way where I wouldn’t want a man to say, ‘I can have a writers’ room full of men and we can write women just fine.’ Orange Is the New Black Creator Criticizes Transparent’s New ‘Trans-Affirmative Action’ Policy (h/t @DrJaneChi)

Misogyny

– “It is not karma that has oppressed women in India, where Nadella and I are from — it is the domination of the wealthy classes, in a system where subjugating women is a convenient way of subjugating the working class as a whole.”  Nadella’s blunder: Two Seattle City Council women respond (via @cmkshama)

– “In most courts, dates are routinely moved to accommodate the schedule of lawyers, including for vacations. And although the court does not employ her directly, the incident does raise questions about the state of maternity leave in the U.S.” Judge Won’t Delay Hearing For Lawyer’s Maternity Leave, Then Berates Her For Bringing Baby To Court (via @ThinkProgress)

Banking Crisis

– “Parker is about to file a class action lawsuit against the Dallas-based debt collection company, Dyck O’Neal, which is working to recoup the money on behalf of Fannie Mae. The class action will allege that Dyck O’Neal violated fair debt collection practices by suing people in the state of Florida who actually lived out of state.” Americans face post-foreclosure hell as wages garnished, assets seized (h/t @sarahkendzior)

– “Getting tens of thousands of homeowners to deceptively sign away their rights for $178.04, and then rip off their homes, is bad enough, but it gets worse. Wells Fargo never complied with the minimal obligations in the class action settlement.”  “We hope they were duped”: How prosecutors gave banks the best “penalty” ever

Intersectionality

– “When I see a white man ambling towards me on the street at night, or when I am in an elevator with him, or when I see him in the car next to mine on the interstate, I often think I should be afraid. I know what white men are capable of.” Roxane Gay: I have feared white men and I have loved them (via @rgay)

Immigration

– “Clearly moved, once on board the plane the other passengers refused to fasten their seat belts – a protest that prevented the pilots from being able to begin take off.” Refugee facing deportation from Sweden saved by fellow passengers refusing to let plane leave (h/t @stavvers)

Policing

– “Novara is apparently taking the aliases of activists, finding out their real names (which may be difficult or easy) and then making calls to businesses to warn them that they are tweeting things that are making people upset and so that is why they may get angry phone calls. If effective, this can be pretty defamatory.” St. Louis Officer Who Called Activist’s Boss About Her Tweets Now Under Investigation by Internal Affairs (h/t @Copwatch)

Education

– “Labor exploitation is not the new normal. Adjunct professors are distinct from other low-wage contract workers only by virtue of degree – that is, the Ph.D. Like other exploited workers, adjuncts are told that their low pay and mistreatment are the deserved consequence of poor choices.” The Adjunct Crisis Is Everyone’s Problem (h/t @sarahkendzior)

Saturday

18

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Birthday Parties Are Awesome

Written by , Posted in Adventures

My sister-in-law is extremely creative and very talented. She’s the head pastry chef for a great little shop in Santa Barbara, and was the genius behind the cupcakes and truffles and Austin’s and my wedding. She not only knows how to make all kinds of sweet and savory treats, but how to throw a party.

The whole point of our trip down to Santa Barbara was to celebrate our niece’s third birthday. The theme for the party was Cinderella, and Joc went all out. We helped hang thin white fabric and sparkly bits from the deck overhang, set up table and chair, and set out all of her decorations. She did some simple work with ribbons and mason jars, created a great birthday banner, and made these ridiculously detailed Hershey kiss mice. The mice were two kisses glued together bottom to bottom, with tiny mouse ears glued between, a tiny pink tail, and tiny googly eyes. She scattered them across the tables, creating delicious, adorable decorations.

She also made some involved but delicious and clever appetizers. There were cucumber cups with dill cream cheese piped inside, toped with smoked salmon and a slice of tomato. There were dates stuffed with goat cheese and wrapped in basil and prosciutto. There were cheeses and other nibbles, and everything had a label so folks knew what was what. Because the party involved adults and children, there was wine, fruit drinks for the little ones, a table covered with butcher paper and art supplies, pizza, a Cinderella bouncy house (which Austin and I got to try out before the kids arrived), and a Cinderella piñata. There was also an amazing two-layer cake covered in blue fondant and lots of bows, with a Cinderella cake topper. One of the flavors was chocolate with chocolate buttercream, Nutella and pretzels. Our niece had an amazing time, which was obviously the point, but all the other kids and adults seemed to have a great time as well.

Why do I share all of this? Because I want to remember the party for the next time I get to throw a little shindig. There were so many special touches that I think I would enjoy employing at my cookie party or some other time. Obviously our parties won’t be child-focused, but there are often kids there, and there is more we can do to make sure they are having fun.

Also, I want an excuse to make those Hershey kiss mice.

Friday

17

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Traveling

Written by , Posted in Adventures

I am a nervous traveler. Not in a ‘oh my god, we’re all going to crash and die’ sort of way, but in a ‘oh my gosh, we’re going to get stuck in security for hours and miss our flight’ sort of way. Also a ‘we’re going to end up having to check our carry-on bag, which means we’ll get home like 30 minutes later than I thought’ sort of way. And we all know that the extra 30 minutes of sleep I lose because of that is the END OF THE WORLD.

It’s not, though. Not really. Even if we get home a couple of hours later, the world will not end. I’ll still get enough sleep to function for a day. I’m pretty sure this all just stems from my dislike of the unknown. I like to be in control (shocking, I know). So for my next times traveling, I’m going to try to do what Austin does – just go with it. It’ll work out. We will get through security with enough time. There will be space for our bags. And if there isn’t, we will deal with it.

And here is a benefit of having my own blog (that like two people read). Even just seeing it typed out is a nice reminder of what a ridiculous concern it is. There’s too much else that is actually worth my anxiety to let traveling be worrisome. It should be an adventure!

Thursday

16

October 2014

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COMMENTS

#Newsfail

Written by , Posted in Feminism, Politics, Reviews

Five Stars* (see update below)

There’s an awesome podcast out there called Citizen Radio, and it is amazing. The hosts are a comic and journalist, respectively, who record at their home and talk about news that either doesn’t get covered or that gets covered in ridiculous ways. There is a ton of swearing, a lot of joking, some bizarre recurring characters (“Republican Baby,” for example), and a crap ton of actual, honest, news. Citizen Radio is independent media that seeks the truth without being worried about what sponsors are going to think. It’s funding wholly by members like me, but is available to everyone for free.

What does that have to do with this book? Well, this book is written by the hosts of Citizen Radio. It’s a progressive look at the ways in which the news fails: fails to tell us the truth, fails to cover the stories that matter, and fails to do what journalism should do. It’s an easy read (as in, it’s written conversationally; the topics themselves are not in any way light), and organized into general topics that are illustrated with examples of the ways the news has failed to cover the topics properly. The authors address class war, sexism, LGBT rights, gun control (or “massacre prevention,” as they wisely call it), drug policy and foreign policy. The chapters have fantastic titles like “We Know You Smoked Weed in College, Asshole: How the War on Drugs Is Destroying This Country.”

The book is great; when it ended I wished there were more for me to read. I wish they could have taken on even more topics – I feel like there’s enough failure of the media out there on such a wide range of topics that they could write at least one more book, if not two. They point out the problem with presenting “both sides” when there aren’t actually two reasonable sides. A good example of this is climate change. When the vast, vast majority of scientists find truth in something, it doesn’t make sense to have one climate change denier on to debate one scientist. That’s irresponsible. Of course, as Kilkenny and Kilstein point out, scientists (or experts on the issues) are rarely even invited to contribute to the discussions. Instead of the experts on an issue, or those directly impacted by an issue – say, reproductive health – being invited on, you get a panel of older white men. No white women, no women of color, just old white politicians talking about putting an Aspirin between a woman’s knees as effective birth control.

The book is filled with rough language, and includes a smattering of anecdotes from the authors’ lives. Much like their podcast, the book makes me laugh, makes me angry, and motivates me to take action. I read a more diverse array of topics now than I did before I found their podcast. I’ve always been what I’d describe as liberal; now I know that a better term to describe my beliefs is progressive. While some might pass this book off as preaching to the choir, the reality is that while much of what they say might be more radical than the average liberal’s thinking, they back it all up. They provide support for those beliefs that you might have been thinking, but haven’t seen supported when you watch CNN (or MSNBC, because really that station isn’t nearly as liberal as people think).

If you care about politics, journalism, the media, or any of the topics covered in this boo, I strongly urge you to pick it up. And next time you’re on iTunes, or Stitcher, please check out Citizen Radio.

*Feb 28, 2017: Yesterday some very concerning items came out about Mr. Kilstein. Multiple women have shared that he emotionally manipulated and abused them. That is horrifying to hear; Ms. Kilkenny (who split with Mr. Kilstein prior to these revelations) will be continuing Citizen Radio without him.

Wednesday

15

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Oh. My. Gosh.

Written by , Posted in Adventures

Tonight something magical happened. We thought it would happen in 2016, but after some discussion we made it happen now, in October 2014. We did it. We really did it.

We paid off our student loans.

Well, all but one, and that one is so small and has such a tiny interest rate that it actually makes more sense to keep making those little payments on it.

We’ve been making giant extra payments for almost two years now. Thanks to Austin’s undergrad studies and my desire to learn a little philosophy in London, we started our dating life with a combined outstanding loan total that was more than triple the average single person’s debt upon graduation from college these days. And because my loans were for graduate school, the interest rate was ridiculous – 8.25% for one loan, and 6.55% for another. Austin had ones for around 6.5%. Because he works in a lucrative field, and because I’ve been in my career long enough to have built up to a decent salary, we’ve been lucky enough to throw any extra income / bonuses / stock we have at the loans.

We should get the ‘your account is closed’ letters in the next week or two. In the meantime, though, I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am about not having this giant debt hanging over our heads. We know we’re lucky that we could do this, and that so many people are stuck with ridiculous interest rates, high outstanding loan balances, and untenable monthly payments. But for today, I’m going to celebrate because it feels so good to be free.

Tuesday

14

October 2014

0

COMMENTS

Health Care Funding

Written by , Posted in Politics

So, yeah. Just a couple of items I’d like to dray to your attention.

First up, this article from today’s Seattle Times: Wake Up and Fund Public Health: “Here in Seattle and King County, an invisible infrastructure is working its magic and keeping us all relatively safe. Next time you see a public-health worker, give him or her a pat on the back.”

It comes on the heels of yesterday’s Seattle Time editorial: “Public Health’s funding woes began more than a decade ago after voters repealed the state motor-vehicle excise tax. Neither state nor federal funding has adequately filled in the gap. Grants are limited. Costs are up. Revenue is not keeping pace with inflation or population growth.”

And this evening, a friend sent me a link to this political ad:
http://youtu.be/c3D0DxjgPB0. It’s pretty intense, but it makes some good points.

Yes, I work in Public Health. I’m funded through a grant, and that money will go away in the future. But the work I have to do has to happen to make sure that people in this county can recovery from an emergency with public health impacts. That doesn’t just happen magically. Organizing that response can’t be outsourced to a private contractor. This is the work of the government, and we can’t do it if we don’t have the funds. I appreciate that people are paying attention a bit more now, but Ebola isn’t the only reason we need a strong Public Health system in this country.

Monday

13

October 2014

0

COMMENTS

Indigenous People’s Day

Written by , Posted in Politics

Hello! Did you check your mail this evening and wonder why there was nothing in there? Did you pay a bill over the weekend and wonder why the money hasn’t been taken out of your bank account yet? In case you missed it (although if you work for the federal government, or the City government in New York, you had the day off), today is “Columbus Day,” a.k.a. Let’s Celebrate a Genocide But Pretend We’re Celebrating Italian Heritage Day.

Sadly we aren’t really taught much about Mr. Columbus in school that is accurate (at least not in the public schools I attended), but a quick Google search for “Real Christopher Columbus” brings up a whole lot of writing on what a horrible man he was. Hopefully by now you know that he didn’t ‘discover’ shit and that most folks had known the world was round for centuries before he set sail. But the true depth of his depravity is pretty shocking.

If you’re looking to brush up on your Christopher Columbus history, here are some suggested articles:

– “And Columbus, while remembered as a hero by many, was brutal to the native people. In his quest to find gold, he enslaved them, working thousands to death; brutalized them; and murdered them.” Columbus’s Real Legacy: The Brutal Disparities Suffered By Native Americans

– “In the year 1495, they went on a great slave raid, rounded up 1,500 Arawak men, women, and children, put them in pens guarded by Spaniards and dogs, then picked the 500 best specimens to load onto ships. Of those 500, 200 died en route.” The Real Christopher Columbus

And of course the fantastic John Oliver offered his take last week: How Is this Still A Thing?

Now, this holiday really should never have come to pass. But it doesn’t surprise me, given we still have an NFL team with a racial slur for a name. Collectively, people in the U.S. don’t seem to really care about what atrocities people committed – including genocide, and slavery – to get us to where we are.

Some cities and states, however, are taking a small step to point out the ridiculousness of this. My city passed a resolution last week designating the second Monday in October as “Indigenous People’s Day,” which is quite literally the least we can do. Of course some folks who don’t seem to have the ability to comprehend history have taken offense to this, including one representative of an Italian-American group who said “By this resolution you say to all Italian-Americans that the city of Seattle no longer deems your heritage or your community worthy of recognition.” Which – what? Um, if your Italian-American heritage is dependent on a genocidal jackass like Columbus, that’s on you. This action says nothing about modern-day Italians. Good reminder that not everything is about you. This is about Native Americans (for once).

Sunday

12

October 2014

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COMMENTS

What I’m Reading – October 12, 2014

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Racism

– “Stop trying to repackage black cool or trends as if it’s some sort of brand-new idea.” Thug Kitchen: A Recipe in Blackface (h/t @fatbodypolitics)

– “Completely confused by the incident, Currie was sprayed with pepper spray in the face as he tried to explain that he lived there and had his own room.” Black teenage foster child gets accused by neighbors of burglary and pepper-sprayed in his own home (via @shaunking)

Policing

– “But instead he prioritized the comfort and security of his officer over the comfort and security of his community, which … okay, non-rhetorical question: Isn’t that literally the opposite of his job?” 4 Weird Decisions That Have Made Modern Cops Terrifying (h/t @studentactivism)

Health Care

– “We had no difficulty explaining the specific dangers of various treatment options, but we never really touched on the reality of his disease.” Doctors Who Don’t Know How to Talk About Death

– “Still, the sight was a little jarring: The woman was putting the food into plastic foam plates just a few steps from the dressing rooms for staff members coming out of the decontamination areas, the pharmacy, and past a refrigerator with a sign marked, “Ebola blood tests. NO FOOD.”” Life, Death and Grim Routine Fill the Day at a Liberian Ebola Clinic (via @sherifink)

– “The oilfields giant, which also donated $100,000 to the foundation, boasts that it’s “doing our ‘bit’ for the cure.” Get it? It’s a pun. A horribly misguided, pinkwashing attempt at a pun.” Fracking company teams up with Susan G. Komen, introduces pink drill bits “for the cure” (h/t @EdgeofSports)

– “Under these interpretations, Amendment 67 would go farther than any anti-abortion measure in U.S. history. Even before Roe v. Wade, criminal abortion laws typically carried penalties from one to ten years, not Colorado’s first-degree murder sentencing of life in prison or death.” Keep Mothers Out of Jail: Vote ‘No’ on Colorado’s ‘Personhood’ Measure (via @RHRealityCheck)

Misogyny

– “The actor – livid – called the violation a “sex crime”, accused those who looked at the photos of “perpetuating a sexual offense” and added: I didn’t tell you that you could look at my naked body.” The Jennifer Lawrence nude photo hack response is the end of the ‘shamed starlet’ (via @JessicaValenti)

– “Sexual harassment on the job, while illegal, is still very common, particularly for women.” Woman Fired Day After She Complained Coworker Rubbed Her Buttocks (via @ThinkProgress)