ASK Musings

Rating:
4.5 Stars

In a nutshell:
Kavanagh – AKA Chewy – has just been assigned to his two-year required service on The Wall, keeping out the others.

Best for:
Those who enjoy post-apocalyptic novels that have something to say about our world today.

Quote that made me think:
“Home: the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in. Somebody had said that. But once you had spent time on the Wall, you stop believing in the idea that anybody, ever, has no choice but to take you in. Nobody has to take you in. They can choose to, or not.”

Why I chose it:
I think it might have popped up on BookTok? Maybe? It looked intriguing though.

Review:
Great Britain, sometime in the future. The Change has happened – basically the sea levels have risen catastrophically. Great Britain is now protected by a wall, within whose borders life continues largely the same as before the Change (though there are some new additions, like Help, which seem to be indentured servants perhaps?). Citizens have microchips in them to make sure they are allowed to be there and that they are not one of the Others.

The Others – people seeking respite and safety within Great Britain, who have been expelled from their own lands because of the Change, and spend their lives sailing from land mass to land mass, trying to survive.

The book is told wholly from Kavanagh’s point of view, and starts when he arrives at the Wall. Everyone his age is required to serve two years defending the Wall from the Others. They work two weeks on, two weeks off, alternating twelve-hour shifts. It is cold. It is dreary. They are on edge because the Others might attack at any moment.

Throughout much of the book, the Others are seen by Kavanagh as an enemy – someone to keep out at literally all costs. No time is spent on their humanity, what they must be going through to risk it all to get over the Wall. Which is a very on the nose allegory for the small boats coming to the UK these days, escaping places that are often in turmoil because of what other people have done to them – stronger, richer nations. There’s no accountability by those who benefit from the luck of the geography of their birth, no sense of responsibility to their fellow humans. Just a deep, guttural ‘us vs them’ mentality that strips everyone of their humanity.

The book isn’t full of remarkable prose, though the story is vivid. I can picture each section of it clearly in my mind. It’s just so well done, it will stick with me for awhile. I read the audio version of this book, which was narrated by Will Poulter, and he did a fantastic job.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
Absolutely.

Rating:
1.5 Stars

In a nutshell:
Therapist and author Codrington mixes season, cycles, and moon phases up and tells women to try to connect them, leaving this reader feeling a bit like she’s failed part of the SAT.

Best for:
Not me.

Quote that made me think:
N/A

Why I chose it:
I’m a Xennial woman. Lots of my book reviews over the next couple years are going to be on this topic. Enjoy!

Review:
Usually I start reviews with some bit of sharing to connect myself with the reader of the review and sort of explain why I might have taken what I did from the book I’m reviewing. At the risk of being a bit TOO familiar here, I’m just going to say that I am in my mid-40s and since cis women’s health is basically a joke to the medical establishment, especially when it comes to our hormones and reproductive health, so I’m just looking for a lifeboat anywhere I can find one. Unfortunately, this book wasn’t it for me.

Half of the book is the journal itself, which really just looks like a day planner and asks day of your cycle, what the moon phase is, what ‘season’ you’re in, and how you took a bit of self care that day. Personally I was looking more for something to like, track symptoms, nutrition, exercise, emotions, etc. Yes, I know there are apps that might do that, but I actually like the pen and paper method for this.

It’s all the lead up that left me a bit … befuddled. The author (as many others have) breaks the cycle into ‘seasons’ – winter is when your period starts, spring is after it ends, summer is ovulation, and autumn is that lovely bit right before your period begins. Cool. She offers some tips of things to focus on in these areas, which aren’t horrible. She also has QR links to yoga nidra meditations to incorporate. Alright.

Then it all gets kind of mixed up, and the thing that frustrated me the most is on one page she rightfully points out that in perimenopause, cycle lengths can vary dramatically from the standard (for some people) 28 days. So true! And one of the reasons why tracking is so important, to better connect how one feels to what is going on in one’s body. But then she provides six sets of ‘cycles’ for the journal part, and makes them each only 28 days long (to match the moon I guess)? That’s … not helpful. I’m still not clear WHY the tracking with the moon is relevant, and the book doesn’t make that clear.

It feels like this might be a decent journal for someone who is nowhere near perimenopause, and it’s just been slightly repurposed to jump onto the zeitgeist of people vaguely paying attention to this phase cis women experience. But it isn’t what I was looking for, and while I’ll still give it a bit of a go, the search for something helpful continues.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
No

Rating:
4 Stars

In a nutshell:
Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh shares insights from his spiritual practice that can help readers.

Best for:
Anyone interested in Buddhism but still sort of just dipping their toe in. Anyone open to some positive life advice.

Quote that made me think:
I underlined like 20% of this book but here are a couple:

“Time is more precious than money. Time is life.”

“My actions are my only true belongings.”

Why I chose it:
I’ve read a few of his books and I always enjoy them and find things that ring true.

Review:
In my free time I am a football (soccer) referee. For us lower-level refs, they offer termly training days, where they show us clips of incidents and talk through positioning, calls, etc. They always cover a lot of topics but always end by reminding us to not try to implement everything we learned at our next match – pick something to focus on, and when I feel comfortable with that, pick the next thing.

This book feels like that. There’s a ton of good information in here, but if I tried to just start implementing it all tomorrow, I’d fail and likely give up. So instead, my plan is to go back through it and note down all the life advice that resonated with me, and then pick one thing to focus on for the rest of the year, and then ideally something additional each month.

The overall focus of the book is on how to be happy. Some suggestions seem challenging to me as I am now, but others are very much in the ‘ugh, duh, yes, that makes sense and I should be doing that.’ And in every chapter I am reminded to pick up my meditation and mindfulness practices, because they are so helpful. And there are some recommended meditations in here that could be useful for new practitioners.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
Yes

Rating:
3.5

In a nutshell:
One of sextuplets featured over many years in Jon and Kate Plus Eight, Collin shares his story of abuse by his mother and how he has worked to take back his story.

Best for:
Anyone who has an interest in how parents monetize their children for social media and reality TV.

Quote that made me think:
“In our house there were no accidents, only fault. And the fault was always mine.”

Why I chose it:
While I don’t believe I ever watched the show Collin was forced to be on, I’ve seen others, and I live in the world. I think that society owes it to these kids to hear their stories, especially since so many of them were abused and mistreated so their parents could make money.

Review:
As with any autobiography, this is just one side of a story, but it is compelling. There are aspects that I do question (mostly because I don’t really know how that world works), but the calmness of the writing, the grace the author Collin (using his first name since I’ll also refer to his mother, who has the same surname), and the shadiness of so many adults around him makes much of what he shares believable.

For those without the background, Collin was part of the Gosselin sextuplets, as well as brother to a set of twins, featured on TLC’s ‘Jon and Kate Plus Eight,’ and later ‘Kate Plus Eight’ when Jon and Kate divorced. The reality show followed the parents and kiddos as they navigated such a large family.

When Collin was quite young – around 7 or 8 – Kate started acting out towards him. My understanding is that this took place after the divorce, so there was not another parent around, especially once Kate told Collin that Jon didn’t want to see him anymore (which we later learn wasn’t true – Kate also told Jon that Collin didn’t want to see him anymore. So manipulative.). She physically harmed him while disciplining him, which led to a CPS call that didn’t result in any action. But because Collin had told a teacher how he was injured, Kate pulled him out of school. Eventually, she kept him locked in a room without a proper bed or anything to do. He needed to be released to even use the toilet. So vile.

Side note – why are reality TV mothers of boys so weird about them? They’re either in love with their sons in a deeply unsettling way, or they hate them so much they do things like remove their beds. Ruby Franke did it to her son, and Kate did it to Collin. I know that only two examples but that seems like way too many …

At one point, Collin tries to run away but realizes he can’t go far and so come back. At this point, he is eleven. His mother and home school teacher (who he trusted and who betrays him multiple times – what is WRONG with adults) call an ambulance and get him admitted to a hospital and then later transferred to a juvenile facility. He is 11 at this point, and turns 12 a couple days later. No one calls, no one acknowledges it. It turns out later that someone apparently falsifies his records to say he was 13 when he was admitted, because that was the lower age limit of the place. He’s medicated but isn’t told why. In the entire time he is there, his mother visits him once, says horrible things to him, and leaves. That’s the last time he talks to her.

He does eventually (after over TWO YEARS) get transferred to a group home that cares about him much more. His dad eventually finds him and gets custody of him (and another of his siblings), and he manages to do well in high school. He joins the military, but is discharged after Kate shares things in social media about him having serious mental health issues. That whole section is WILD and I feel for him but I don’t know how the military works so am not sure if anything is missing there. He’s now in college and seems to be thriving. Good for him.

I don’t think reality TV is what made Kate abuse her son. I get the sense that she is not someone who could handle parenting a child who isn’t just willing to go along with everything, and that was magnified when not going along meant not wanting to have his most intimate childhood moments staged for a camera. I am not and will never be a parent, yet I can tell how scary, sad, and frustrating an experience this was for Collin, and how hard it would be to escape from her bullying and still build a life. But Collin is trying to do just that.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
Yes

Rating:
4 Stars

In a nutshell:
Sophie and Alex are sent to Edinburgh Fringe for a month to write reviews of shows and exhibitions. After Alex writes a scathing review on night one, then sleeps with the star without telling her, things transpire.

Best for:
I think this is meant to be a sort of quick read (and it was) but it also deals with some pretty serious issues. And I’m not sure the blurb on the back is as accurate as it could be… so I guess it is best for those willing to spend some time sitting with a few different ethical questions.

Quote that made me think:
“How enormous a thing it must be to face the sum total of your flaws, and find that they are worse than you imagined, and obvious to everyone in the world except you.”

Why I chose it:
Book club. (This is a by mail book club, and for many months I’ve not been reading the options sent to me, but this past week I’ve torn through a couple of them).

Review:
This book is told from the first person perspective of someone who isn’t even mentioned on the description of the book. Sophie is a critic, just a couple of months back from maternity leave after the birth of her son Arlo, with her partner Josh. Sophie and Alex share a rental in Edinburgh for the month of August, with Alex set to review theatre and Sophie reviewing exhibitions and art. Alex is the son of a famous actress, and is known for writing scathing reviews. Basically, he doesn’t believe in giving anything between one or five stars – it’s all or nothing.

The premise of the book is that Alex writes a brutal — and likely overly unkind – review of a one-woman show. After sending it to his editor to print, he meets the woman Hayley in a bar. He doesn’t tell her who he is, or that he just slammed her show, and they end up sleeping together. Hayley is pissed when she finds out, and decides to completely re-work the show into a take-down of Alex, including inviting people who have been wronged by him to share their stories on stage or via email each night.

Sophie herself becomes Alex’s sole confidant, and by association people are assuming she has ‘chosen his side.’ And it turns out Alex has done some shitty things to loads of women. Nothing criminal, but the kind of stuff that so many men do and get away with. The show becomes nationally and internationally popular, and Alex is forced to figure out if he’s the person Hayley and all these others say he is, or if he’s worse? Or better?

The book deals with loads of different issues. First off – does the punishment fit the crime? Does a guy hurting a woman emotionally mean he should have his career ended? Should we care about the feelings of a poor little rich kid who hasn’t had to work much in his life anyway? Even if we understand why Alex is the way he is, what should we do with that information? Does it matter if he tries to change?

Throughout all of this, Sophie is struggling with her feelings for her partner, and for her job. She even starts to struggle with the idea of being a critic. What is the point of reviews? And are they worse now that everyone collectively shares their opinions, as opposed to us relying on trusted individuals whose opinions we value?

(It’s not lost on me that I’m contemplating this while writing my own review of an art form.)

Overall this is a clever idea for a book, and I’d argue it’s mostly well executed. Though the one thing that does sort of linger in the background is that the women in the book are all discussed in relation to this one man, and that’s … kinda icky. I get it, its for the plot, and the issues raised are worth exploring for sure. But its wild how much men feature even when it’s a story about a women, written by a woman.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
Yes

Rating:
3.5

In a nutshell:
Five individuals find their lives change when they encounter a mysterious cafe run by cats.

Best for:
Those looking for something a bit dreamy and whimsical. Lovers of astrology (though that isn’t necessary – I wouldn’t put myself in that category but I still enjoyed those parts).

Quote that made me think:
“But the challenges it sets us aren’t barriers to confront – they’re doors waiting to be opened.”

“Not everything has to move forwards all the time you know…”

Why I chose it:
Cats. Come on.

Review:
This book was even more whimsical than I expected (I should have paid more attention to the cover art). But it was a great read on what is a very stormy weekend where I live. I felt cozy reading it, and also a bit inspired.

We first meet Mizuki, a screenwriter who is in a bit of a down slope of her career. She finds herself invited to the cafe, where cats give her some ideas about how she could perhaps bring her work to more relevance. The next person we meet is someone Mizuki has worked with before – someone in the entertainment industry, Akari. Akari is struggling a bit with her work and romantic lives. And an actress she has worked with, Satsuki, is in the middle of a scandal, having slept with a married actor. Akari and Satsuki both find themselves invited to the cafe, where the cats provide some very detailed information about their astrological charts.

Finally, we have Takashi, a software developer, and Megumi, a hairdresser. They both have dreams related to the cafe.

We find all five are connected in some way, and we also eventually learn about the origin of the cat cafe – in fact the whole book ties itself up quite neatly. Sometimes that’s a bit annoying, but in this case, I think it’s a sign of a well thought out and well crafted story.

I read this across just a couple of days, and I enjoyed it. I’m not sure it’s for everyone, but honestly it got me a bit more interested in astrology because why not? Life should have a bit more whimsy and mystery.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
Yes

Rating:
4 Stars

In a nutshell:
As part of a new medical trial, four individuals with life limiting illnesses are able to have their memories transferred into their own clones.

Best for:
Those who (like me, I’m realizing) enjoy vague sci-fi ‘what if’ books. Those interested in exploring not so much the ethics of such a procedure, but the implications for individuals.

Quote that made me think:
N/A (audio book listened while running, so didn’t stop to write anything down)

Why I chose it:
I can’t recall how it got there, but it’s been on my to read pile for a bit now. Finally decided to crack on with it.

Review:
Four individuals, each with their own point of view chapters. There’s David, a Republican congressman; Hannah, a young artist with stage four lung cancer, Linda, a mom of two who has been locked in (able only to blink) for eight years, and Connie, a former actress with a medically resistant strain of AIDS.

As part of a medical trial (and with participants chosen by lottery), these four have their lives saved. While their memories are placed into their new body (a clone of themselves, aged up quickly to match their current ages), they all quickly find that this doesn’t mean they are back to their ‘old selves.’ At the same time, for those who were desperate for a fresh start, they find it isn’t as simple as they thought it might be. It’s more like a New Year’s Resolution – the intent is there, but they have so much history, it’s so easy to go back into old habits.

I appreciate that the author didn’t make any of the characters out to be saints. Unfortunately there are some I’d argue unnecessary commonalities to try to make the characters more ‘complex,’ which could have been achieved via other methods (minor spoiler – cheating factors in way more than I think it should). And while we don’t get point of view chapters from any of the partners, friends, or family of the four individuals, we get a sense of how hard this is for them, too. Having a loved one close to death, for some being supportive as they are dying, and then having them back healthy, but changed. Do you just keep going forward as though they’d never been sick? Do you change? Has the relationship.

And while it isn’t the main focus of the book, some of the characters do at times consider whether they ‘deserved’ to have their lives saved. Should there be a specific moral threshold to determine who gets to live longer, if supplies are limited? Should someone be denied access if they are an asshole? How about a criminal? How about immoral? And by whose standards are we judging immorality? Also … should we be cloning people even if the original recipe human is stripped of their mind and would have died anyway?

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
Yes

Rating:
4 Stars

In a nutshell:
Willow is living with her partner of over a decade. They’ve founded a company together, but things may not be going as well as Willow thinks.

Best for:
Anyone looking for a different version of Eat Pray Love.

Quote that made me think:
“Be careful about what you label yourself, because a lot of the labels we put on ourselves might not be true.”

Why I chose it:
Book club pick.

Review:
I’ve read a book by this author before. I checked out my review, and I wasn’t a huge fan of it. So I was a bit skeptical but the premise was interesting.

I read this book in one day. I inhaled it. I wanted to see what was going to happen next.

The author uses a convention I haven’t really seen before – chapters alternate between now and a bit back in time, but each ‘back in time’ chapter is actually getting us farther away from now, revealing more and more about the young adult life and childhood of our narrator Willow. It’s a clever tactic, and it works well in this book, because the pieces all start to fit together as the story is told in both directions.

Willow has a close circle of friends – Pen, who is single at the start, Alice, who is married and trying for a child, and Lola, who is in a steady, committed relationship. She also her aunt Carla, who basically raised her. Willow has been in such a relationship herself for over a decade, and now in her mid-30s, is hoping to take the next steps with Dom. They have a house, but she wants a child, and to be married.

Things don’t go that way. And because of the company they founded together, Willow finds herself single and jobless at the same time. But she was once a journalist, and ends up on an assignment to profile a Gen Z influencer whose whole brand is women should be single and live lives for themselves.

I enjoy the author’s exploration of the different relationships Willow has, — the challenges, the hypocrisies, to joy, the history. How sometimes people know us so well, but even then, they don’t know everything. How convention might be what someone wants, but perhaps they only want it because they didn’t seriously consider any other option?

The characters aren’t all fully fleshed out, Willow, Pen, and Carla especially feel like people I could know, and their interactions feel real. The book feels real.

The only drawback — and this is the case with so many books — is that a lot of what is preached in the pages about living an intentional life, making choices that make you happen, etc., are super easy to suggest when one has access to money.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
Yes

Rating:
3 Stars

In a nutshell:
Valerie goes missing while hiking the Appalachian Trail. The story of her search is told through her eyes, the eyes of the lead searcher Lt Bev, and an older woman Lena, who lives in a nursing home somewhat far away.

Best for:
Folks tired of stories focused on the relationships between fathers and sons and wishing more were about mothers and daughters. Those who enjoy mystery but also nature writing.

Quote that made me think:
“He was, like many people, tyrannized by his changing moods. By an absence of a coherent personality.”

Why I chose it:
My partner gifted it to me for my birthday earlier this year. I read the description but had forgotten until I picked it up this week to read. It seemed appropriate for the season – mystery, set in the forest…

Review:
There is a lot about this book to like. The writing is great. The characters are mostly well-developed. The main characters are all women dealing with their own ideas of strength, solitude, and growth. Love that. The descriptions of the forests are gorgeous, and the discussion of the grief of not knowing, of searching for someone who is missing, is eloquent.

But a critical, interweaving part of the story, is mother daughter relationships, and I just … am not interested. They are all complex and complicated and interesting, but in the end, the author seems to be saying that ‘eh, everyone does the best they can, just love your mom.’ There’s also some mocking of estrangement and cutting ties with neglectful mothers, which feels straight out of Boomer Facebook. I think I’m just not buying that view of the world, or relationships that mothers and daughters have, that everyone’s doing their best and that alone should be sufficient for everyone to just get along fine. And while I get that this is a thread throughout this book, it didn’t need to be. The author could have picked a different through-line, or even a more complex version of this one, and I think it would have worked. I would have enjoyed that book much more than this one. But that’s not the author wanted to write, and the one she did leaves me a little sad for what could have been.

(Also, despite the review at the top of the cover, I wouldn’t call this heart-stopping. I at times forgot there even was a mystery.)

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
If you think all mother-daughter relationships are awesome, then go for it.