ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

Monday

21

April 2025

0

COMMENTS

The House of My Mother by Shari Franke

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Four Stars

Best for:
Those interested in hearing the first-hand accounts of children who grew up in the realm of ‘Mommy Blogging.’ Those interested in how someone can recover from public and private emotional abuse.

In a nutshell:
Shari Franke grew up as the eldest daughter in the ‘Eight Passengers’ YouTube channel run by her mother, Ruby Franke. Ruby is now in prison, and Shari is telling her own story.

Worth quoting:
“In this family, the only safe emotion was no emotion at all.”

Why I chose it:
I was vaguely aware of the Ruby Franke situation, and recently watched the Netflix documentary about it (which Shari participated in). I thought it would be good to hear the story more directly from Shari herself.

Review:
Today is a bank holiday where I live, and I had no plans, so basically other than a break for a couple of chores that required my attention, I listened to this book all day.

Shari Franke is the oldest of six children, and the daughter of Ruby and Kevin (who Shari refers to by their first names throughout, and not as ‘mom’ and ‘dad’), originally known for their very popular YouTube channel that documented the lives of the Mormon family. However, as Shari details, the camera showed a very curated version of life, with Ruby in reality serving as a cold, narcissistic parent focused on making their family look perfect.

And while I think that’s what most folks are aware of if they know about the family at all, much of the focus of Shari’s book is on the abuse that followed even more intensely when Ruby got the family involved in ‘ConnecXions,’ a cult run by Jodi Hildebrandt. Yes, the recording and posting of minor children without their informed consent is creepy (and I genuinely don’t understand the appeal of those channels), but the bizarre controlling behavior stemming from Jodi’s cult is what ultimately leads to Ruby’s downfall and the breakdown of the family.

Ruby is a cruel woman, an abusive woman, and a controlling woman. She spoke to her children and her husband in such a formal, stilted way, weaponizing therapy language and saying things like she ‘invites’ someone to leave the house or ‘invites’ someone to do work on themselves. It’s disturbing, and I can’t imagine using that language to speak with someone one allegedly loves. And I’m certain that there are many parents like Ruby, who see their children not as individuals with rights and feelings and hopes of their own, but purely as extensions of their parents who should submit to their control in all ways.

So gross.

Shari has gone through a lot, but she speaks of it with such empathy and maturity. The final chapter looks at how Shari thinks Ruby got to be where she is, and it’s not a clinical examination, but one that shows Shari has so much compassion for others. I found it especially astute when she discusses what Ruby’s life might have been like if she hadn’t been told that the only avenue available to her was being a mother.

Shari’s maturity and compassion also shown by the fact that she doesn’t name her minor siblings, and doesn’t detail what Ruby did to them, because she wants them to have the control back over their own stories. She speaks with a maturity that I cannot fathom for someone her age who has experienced what she has. And I appreciate how much she relies on her faith. I am not a Christian, and I know that (like pretty much every religion), the LDS church has some serious issues, and even in the book we learn about times when the people in the church let Shari down, but clearly she finds strength, and comfort, and support in her experience of her faith, and that seems to be what kept her going through everything.

Saturday

19

April 2025

0

COMMENTS

Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Best for:
Fans of the Hunger Games series.

In a nutshell:
This is the story of Haymitch Abernathy’s Hunger Games. The 50th one, the second quarter quell.

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
I heard good things about it.

Review:
I didn’t read the last prequel, and couldn’t get through the movie – I just didn’t find it to be a good film. Maybe the book was better? But when I saw that this was getting good word of mouth, I knew I wanted to read it.

I don’t want to spoil too much for those who go into it like I did – completely unknowing. But I do appreciate a few things. First, this book is still brutal. I don’t enjoy reading descriptions of the murder of children; Collins however manages to make those deaths serve the purpose of the book. The Capital is a cruel place, and the cruelty is the whole point.

I think Collins does a great job of developing Haymitch’s back story and personality. I get why the mentor version we meet is the way he is. And she also weaves in the stories of others we’ve met before, explaining some relationships and how people end up the way they end up in the later books.

The things that stood out the most to me were the discussions about what people accept, and when people fight back. There are conversations between Plutarch and Haymitch that are so relevant now. The US is dealing with fascism, children continue to be murdered in Gaza, and the UK just this past week had a horrible ruling that takes away rights of some of the most marginalised people in society. What are we willing to do about it? What can we do about it? Not just the collective we, but us as individuals? What sacrifices should we be expected and willing to make? And why do we have to make the sacrifices when the powerful are the ones making things so very bad?

It’s not a hopeful book in the traditional sense, but the hope in it comes from the community, and the ability for each person to play a small part, pushing towards a greater good. And this is not a spoiler – but obviously whatever Haymitch and his community work do in the 50th hunger games doesn’t stop them – there’s a 74th, and a 75th. But it’s a step. And an important one. Sometimes things don’t get better overnight.

Saturday

19

April 2025

0

COMMENTS

The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Four Stars

Best for:
Those who enjoy a little bit of science fiction and a lot of philosophy.

In a nutshell:
The UK government has a time machine, but instead of traveling into the future, they’ve decided to travel to the past to bring four people to current time to see how they can integrate into the modern era.

Worth quoting:
“Who thinks their job is on the side of right? They fed us all poison from a bottle marked ‘prestige’ and we developed a high tolerance for bitterness.”

“Fitzjames had once asked him how he could approach life-threatening peril and minor annoyances with the same mildness and he’d shrugged. ‘It doesn’t improve my mood to catastrophise, so I don’t.’”

“An underrated symptom of inherited trauma is how socially awkward it is to live with.”

Why I chose it:
I’ve seen it in stores, and then it was the choice for a book subscription I’m in, so figured it was time to read it.

Review:
Ah, what a great read. I read it while on vacation and so was able to inhale it over the course of just a few days.

The book is told mostly from the perspective of the narrator, who I’ll call the Bridge. There are actually five bridges, one assigned to each of the five people brought from the past, including during the plague in the 1600s, as well as the trenches of World War 1. The Bridge who narrates this book is assigned to Graham Gore, a naval man who died in an arctic expedition. Except before he can die, he is saved and brought to the near future, as part of a test to see how people handle moving through time.

The science fiction of it all isn’t the main focus of the book, which I appreciate. Instead, the focus is on all the different aspects of what it is like for people who are brought from their time to now. What are the ethics of this? How does it impact different people? And what happens to the relationships they form in their new reality?

I love books like this. It’s not the same, but it reminded me a bit of ‘The Measure.’ And the writing? The writing is SO GOOD. There’s so much humor, and also humanity, in Bradley’s writing. The ending wasn’t my favorite, which is why this isn’t five stars, but it’s not a bad ending, if that makes sense. Just took away a bit from the rest of the book. But still, so, so good.

Saturday

19

April 2025

0

COMMENTS

Clear by Carys Davies

Written by , Posted in Reviews

4 Stars

Best for:
Those who enjoy a quiet, intimate tale.

In a nutshell:
John is contracted to travel to a remote Scottish island to remove the last inhabitant so that the landlord can use the land to raise sheep.

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
This book is very popular in Scotland at the moment, where I live. I took it with me on a trip to the Outer Hebrides, as that just seemed appropriate.

Review:
This book is a slow burn. While the backdrop is the highland clearances, the focus is on one individual, John, who is a minister trying to raise money for his new church. He and his site do not have a lot of funds, so he takes on a job of traveling to a remote Scottish to bring back the only remaining inhabitant, a man named Ivar who doesn’t speak much English.

While there, John has a fall, and Ivar takes him in. Meanwhile, John’s wife Mary decides that perhaps the job John has taken isn’t safe, and chooses to make the journey out to join him.

So much of the story is describing the land, and the lives of John, Mary, and Ivar. It’s about different relationships, against the backdrop of the cruelty of the clearances. It’s about how to communicate when you don’t speak the same language. And it’s about understanding and making changes for the people you care for.

Monday

31

March 2025

0

COMMENTS

All the Missing Girls by Megan Miranda

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Three Stars

Best for:
Those who like a bit of creative license with their storytelling.

In a nutshell:
Nicolette is back home to help prepare her dad’s home for sale. Her dad’s memory is going, but he keeps saying things that make other think he knows about someone who went missing ten years ago.

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
I liked another work by this author.

Review:
I was into this book at the start, then was skeptical, but by the end I was mostly on board. The entire book is told from Nicolette’s perspective. She is engaged to Ethan, a wealthy attorney in Philadelphia, but she heads back home. Her dad is in a memory care facility, and her brother Dan needs some help getting the family home ready to sell. Nic’s ex boyfriend Travis is helping with some repairs on the house.

We learn by the second day she’s there that Travis’s girlfriend Anabelle has gone missing, which brings up the past – ten years earlier, Nic’s best friend went missing and was never found. Her father starts making strange comments, and the police are interested.

At this point we jump forward two weeks. And each chapter after that is a day before – so day 14, day 13, day 12, etc. Nic tells us something, then a chapter later we find out how that might be relevant, and what information she might not have fully shared. It was annoying at first, but after I got into it and accepted that I wasn’t going to get the whole story the way I thought I would, it was mostly an entertaining read. Not a huge fan of the ending, but it works.

Sunday

23

March 2025

0

COMMENTS

The Last to Vanish by Megan Miranda

Written by , Posted in Uncategorized

4 Stars

Best for:
Fans of claustrophobic mysteries with possibly unreliable narrators and reasonable twists.

In a nutshell:
Abby works at in a town where seven people have gone missing in four separate incidents over the years. The sibling of the latest to disappear has arrived at the Inn where she works, and he has questions.

Worth quoting:
Nothing stood out.

Why I chose it:
When I was visiting my parents last month, my mother recommended this as something I’d like.

Review:
This was an interesting mystery. It had that small town feel that I enjoy in mysteries – much like the Icelandic books I’ve read, where everything takes place in one town, and where everyone knows everyone else’s business.

Abby works at the inn owned by her now-deceased uncle and his wife. She’s been there for ten years, so not a local. She arrived right around when someone went missing – the fifth, after a group of four guys went missing over a decade earlier. The town is right at the edge of the Appalachian trail, so the assumption is that everyone who has gone missing met their end from a fall on the trail.

But four months ago, a reporter came to town, looking into the six disappearances. Then he went missing, and now his brother has shown up at the inn, wanting answers.

The author does a great job of holding back information without it being silly once it is revealed – nothing is truly out of the blue. She also plays around a bit with the narrator – is she reliable, is she telling us everything she knows? The author also creates a very specific feeling with the town and its inhabitants – how some people can never be considered a ‘local’ no matter how long they live there, how people can close ranks to protect their own, how some are always suspicious of others.

I enjoyed this one enough to seek out other books by the author – just downloaded one to read this week.

Sunday

16

March 2025

0

COMMENTS

Orbital by Samantha Harvey

Written by , Posted in Uncategorized

Four Stars

Best for:
Anyone wanting a beautiful bit of writing that isn’t about a plot so much as a feeling.

In a nutshell:
A day in the life of four astronauts and two cosmonauts as they orbit the earth 16 times.

Worth quoting:
“We find out about our own unspecialness and in a flush of innocence we feel quite glad – if we’re not special then we might not be alone.”

“We think we’re the wind, but we’re just the leaf.”

Why I chose it:
This was a birthday present from my partner, who clearly knows me well.

Review:
Like many people, occasionally I’ll have a moment where I think about the vastness of space and how I don’t understand it. It nearly takes my breath away when I really contemplate it. At the same time, I would love to spend a few days in space, to view Earth and the cosmos from high above.

This book isn’t plot driven – at the risk of spoiling it, there is not unexpected incident putting the six space travelers at risk. We learn a bit about each of their lives – one has just lost her mother (and will in fact miss her funeral while up in space), others have partners, children. What motivated them to want to be sealed in a tiny can circling the Earth sixteen times each day. How they feel now that they are in space. And that is a bit part of the book.

But most of the book is about Earth – what is going on, how humans relate to each other on it, how it appears from above, how it fits into the universe. The writing is beautiful but not overly flowery. It invokes a mood – for me it was a mixture of calmness, overall peace, and also curiosity. It’s a fairly short novel, but it’s clear why it won the Booker Prize in 2024. I would recommend it to anyone looking for something a bit different.

Saturday

15

March 2025

0

COMMENTS

Mickey 17

Written by , Posted in Reviews

2 Stars

I think I don’t ‘get’ a lot of popular satire. Like, I walked out of Book of Mormon at the intermission. It didn’t seem clever, or insightful – it just seemed like a way for some people to be mean and racist under the guise of satire. And most people I’ve mentioned this to just say ‘huh, I really enjoyed it’ and then we move on.

I thought Parasite and Snowpiercer, both by Bong Joon-ho, were fantastic. They were interesting glimpses into different ways of looking at class (one hyper-dramatic, another much more insidious) While not the same, I do feel like part of the reason I dislike Mikey 17 so much is because it claims to be satire, and I just … I just don’t get it. I am not alone in this opinion, at least. But it is still a bummer, as we really only go out to the movies maybe twice a year at this point.

The main issues I had, beside the fact that the film was WAY too long, is that it was so on the nose that it felt almost childish. Like, a kids’ film about the perils of cults and capitalism, but only adults are allowed to see it. The Mark Ruffalo and Toni Colette characters were so on the nose it seemed a bit like a quick improv scene in a college theatre class, where one doesn’t have loads of time to prepare and so just goes for the very obvious laughs. Especially Ruffalo’s Trump/Musk hybrid person. Also, the Creepers (the alien life) were the victims of some pretty brutal cruelty, which felt a bit like watching cats be tortured, and I’m not so much interested in seeing that in the movies I choose to watch.

Overall, I thought Robert Pattinson’s acting was fantastic, and some of the moments were interesting. There was just so much more potential there, but it seemed like any time there was an opportunity to explore an interesting discussion about ethics, politics, capitalism, relationships, religion, etc., the filmmakers decided to just cut to a different scene.

Tuesday

25

February 2025

0

COMMENTS

An Unfortunate Christmas Murder by Hannah Hendy

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Three Stars

Best for:
Fans of ‘cozy’ mysteries; those who enjoyed the first in the series.

In a nutshell:
During rehearsals for the annual Christmas play, a member of staff is killed in a freak accident. Or was it an accident?

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
I’m traveling (which means no cat photos with the books, sadly) and don’t have the brain power to focus on most books. This is keeping me company as I fly, and on my runs.

Review:
I love a series like this where the characters’ personalities are able to develop across the books. In a series that focuses just on one detective I don’t get as much in terms of character. Many of the folks from the first book appear in this one, of course with a few new ones.

This is considered a ‘cozy’ mystery in that there’s some humor, and a lot of character, but it is a bit odd how … violent the initial crime is. A women is crushed to death when a bunch of lighting from a stage crashes down upon her. And loads of people witness it, but don’t seem to be super traumatized, which I do find a bit odd That’s a brutal death.

Aside from that, the rest of the book focuses on trying to determine who killed Mrs. Large, and why. There is inter-school intrigue, a missing dog, and possibly stolen intellectual property. And the ending is fairly satisfying.

I’ve already borrowed the next two books in the series because I need all the light reading I can get right now.

Friday

21

February 2025

1

COMMENTS

The Outrun

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Last night we watched The Outrun, which is based on a memoir of the same name. The main character Rona is an alcoholic who was living in London but returns to the Orkney Islands, which are just north of the Scottish mainland.

This is cinematically a gorgeous film. Scotland is a stunning country, and the Orkney islands look amazing. Austin and I both talked about how we could see ourselves living somewhere remote at least some of the year, though I’m guessing that’s a problem for the remote areas (folks who come in and leave as they desire, instead of staying and really digging in with the community).

Saoirse Ronan plays the main character and does a fantastic job. The film skips back and forth (mostly just across one year, though we do get glimpses of her childhood). It explores what addiction does to relationships, but also looks at what it does to the person who is addicted. It explores religion, mental health, and community.

It’s hard to watch at times, and I probably won’t watch it again, but I think it was worth watching for sure.