ASK Musings

Five Stars

Best for:
Those open to reconsidering the ways they view themselves and others.

In a nutshell:
Author Sonya Renee Taylor offers up the idea that society’s ills are based on hatred of bodies that deviate from ‘the norm,’ and that by moving beyond self-acceptance to self-love, we will be able to create “a world that works for every body.”

Worth quoting:
“Our societies have defined what is considered a ‘normal’ body and have assigned greater value, resources, and opportunities to the bodies most closely aligned with those ideas of ‘normal.’”

Why I chose it:
A friend directed by to Ms Taylor’s Instagram account, where she often posts videos. I saw she had a book and wanted to check it out.

Review:
Ms Taylor’s premise is that we need to stop judging bodies, not simply as a way to accept and love ourselves, but to literally change the world. Throughout this relatively short book stuffed full of history, sociology, philosophy, and concrete action, Ms Taylor supports her idea that the setting of a default ‘normal’ body and the resulting judgment of bodies that deviate from that norm is what causes harm. She provides opportunities for reflection on how the reader has developed their relationship with their own body, as well as how that in turn influences how they interact with others in the world.

She starts by laying out the concept of radical self-love, then moves onto the history of body shame that propels so many of us to apologize for our bodies – size, gender, ability, neurodiversity, race, etc. – followed by ways to build radical self-love when the world around us pushes just the opposite. Ms Taylor then takes us through the idea of implicit bias and need to remain aware of the ways we continue to judge ourselves and other bodies, and finishes it up with a very practical toolkit.

I love this book. Ms Taylor’s way of writing is accessible and fun. I want all of us to read it and to really think about what it would mean if we were to implement the concepts within it.

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Four Stars

Best for:
Anyone who runs a club, organization, group, or works at a bar, club, or venue. Basically people who are responsible for other people.

In a nutshell:
Author Potter offers suggestions for ways to keep event spaces safer for participants.

Worth quoting:
“When approached by someone who has experienced harassment, being their advocate is your number one priority.”

Why I chose it:
I recently stepped into a leadership role in an organization I’m in, and I want to make sure its a safer space for all involved.

Review:
I’ve been harassed. I’m a woman – of course I’ve been harassed. I’ve also been present when other women have been harassed, and when people of color have been harassed. In those moments, we want to do something – but do most of us know what to do? The best ways to respond? How to care for the person who has been harmed?

This book looks at ways to create safer spaces, including being very clear about the values your space / organization supports, what is not tolerated, how to respond, and ways to be accountable. There are many different options here, so you can try out what you think will work best for the people you are looking to ensure are safer.

This book is definitely best for the places it was created for – that is, music venues, bars, defined spaces. But there are a lot of good lessons in here that can translate to other spaces.

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3 Stars

Best for:
Those who like to follow through with a series.

In a nutshell:
With a time jump six years, we learn that some characters from the last two books have been punished, while others have become bolder. We also meet a couple new folks.

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
I bought the trilogy all at once, and for the most part I’m happy I did.

Review:
This was one of those books where, with about 40 pages to go, I thought ‘wait, how will they be able to wrap all of this up?’ And Sigurðardóttir’s does, mostly, and in a somewhat unexpected way.

The previous two books focused on Sonja, but Sonja doesn’t even appear in this one until about halfway through. Instead, Sonja’s former girlfriend / partial cause of the Icelandic financial crash Agla is the focus. We meet her again in jail, having been abandoned by Sonja years earlier. We also meet a young boy who seems dedicated to blowing something up.

The time leap was a good call, I’d say, though I’m vaguely annoyed at not quite understanding how Sonja got from where she was at the end of the last book. She’s almost an afterthought for most of this. I also had trouble following the aluminum plot here – I get why it was needed but part of me felt like I was watching a hacker film – like, maybe what I’m seeing is based in reality, but it felt a bit off.

Overall I’m glad I read the books. Not exactly what I was looking for, but definitely kept me wondering until the end.

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Four Stars

Rating: 4 Stars

Best for:
Those who enjoy crime novels of the Icelandic variety. Those who appreciate when the main character is both a) not a man and b) not straight.

In a nutshell:
Sonja thinks she’s out but gets pulled back into the drug running world of Iceland, post financial crash.

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
Icelandic crime. Love it.

Review:
As I hoped, in this book we do get a bit more flesh on the bones of the characters. The style remains true to the first book in the series – many very short chapters, alternating perspective among Sonja, her girlfriend (maybe) Agla, Sonja’s son Tómas, and customs officer Bragi.

Spoilers for book one in the series:
At the end of Snare, Sonja takes Tómas to Florida. At the start of Trap, Adam, Sonja’s ex (and, as we learned at the end of book one, the higher-up in the drug system that she’s been trapped in) tracks them down and brings them back. Sonja now can’t see her son but is forced to continue running drugs.

Some characters from the first book make appearances and have bigger roles, so that’s fun. And it has an interesting resolution, where I’d probably be fairly happy if there weren’t a book three, but there is still enough out there to think ‘oh, I can see where she’s going, there are some loose ends that could be a problem.’

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Four Stars

Best for:
Those who enjoy crime novels of the Icelandic variety. Those who appreciate when the main character is both a) not a man and b) not straight.

In a nutshell:
Sonja is divorced and lost custody of her son. To get by, she smuggles cocaine. (That’s right, the cocaine smuggling came after losing her son.) She has a relationship with Agla, who is being pursued for her role in the Iceland financial collapse. Sonja wants out, and she wants to regain custody of her son.

Worth quoting:
“It was as if the apartments that were empty for too long acquired a deep sadness.”

Why I chose it:
I wanted some fiction, this was the start of a trilogy, and the author was listed in an article that included Ragnar Jonasson, who wrote the Dark Iceland series I enjoyed.

Review:
I new from the second chapter that I was definitely into this book, because chapter two was from a different character’s perspective. While the book doesn’t skip about in time, it does skip from character to character, which I love. I like seeing many of the pieces, though not all of them. It makes any eventual twists less shocking and more ‘oh yeah, that makes sense.’

The chapters in this book are short – some only three or four paragraphs – and the book reads quickly. The characters are at times a bit flat, but it’s a series so I’m hoping for a bit more in books two and three. I appreciate that the main love interest for Sonja is a woman, and that the woman she is interested in struggles with having feelings for another woman.

As for the crime aspect – it’s not so much a mystery (which is what I was initially hoping for) as a thriller. Unlike the Dark Iceland series, we’re not wondering who the murderer is. Instead, we’re with the criminal — Sonja — wondering how she ‘s going to get out of the mess she’s in. It also means people with different perspectives might find themselves rooting for different characters. Do you hope Sonja gets away with it, because you can see she’s a good parent for her child, and she just wants to get out of the whole system? Do you hope that the customs agent stops her because who knows who is getting rich off the drugs she is bringing in? Are you just generally annoyed that drugs are illegal, creating this weird smuggling system?

I read this book in 24 hours, starting it before bed on a weekend and finishing it after work the next day. I already have the second book and will be starting it after work today.

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Donate it (I don’t tend to re-read fiction)

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Three Stars

Best for:
Anyone who likes self-help books / advice columns.

In a nutshell:
Author Weisberg explores the history of advice giving, from Benjamin Franklin to life coaches.

Worth quoting:
“Americans’ interest in advice reflects our cultural tendency toward optimism: we tend to believe that with a bit of direction and a small boost, the future can be bright.”

“People seem to prefer advice-givers whose wisdom seems attainable, who learned from doing.”

Why I chose it:
My sister gave me this for Christmas a couple of years ago, because I LOVE advice books (and have my own advice website).

Review:
The title gave me the impression that this book would focus primarily on newspaper (or online) advice columns: Dear Abby, Dear Prudence, Dr Drew (blech), Dr Ruth. And while the first two are covered in one chapter, the focus is as much on other ways people have become well-known by giving advice, including life coaches and marriage counselors.

The book is divided into four parts, and starts with ‘Old, Wise Men.’ I was most fascinated with the section on Benjamin Franklin, partly because Weisberg brings up the Silence Dogood letters, which I know only because I watch National Treasure probably three or four times a year. But it also covers experts like Dr Spock and Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, and traditional advice columnists like Judith Martin (a.k.a. Miss Manners), giving readers some insight into their background and their philosophy around providing guidance to others.

This book is mostly focused on the history of advice-giving; I think another volume would be interesting if it focused on the more modern advice columnists, or perhaps more of a comparison to how its evolved. This book seems to generally end with the 1990s (ish); it seems like so much has happened with this field in the last 20 years that I’d like to see that thrown into the mix.

The only criticism I have is in one chapter she reference Woody Allen a lot. I don’t need a pedophile mentioned in my books on advice, I don’t care how influential he may have been.

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Three Stars

Best for:
Those who like to have access to basic trivia about places they live or visit.

In a nutshell:
Author Taggart provides some history in an accessible way.

Worth quoting:
“…no one seems to be sure, but there was probably once …”
(Seriously, it seems like for half the names, this is the answer.)

Why I chose it:
Moved to London. Wanted to learn more.

Review:
I think this is the last of the books I bought on sort of a whim when I first moved here and wanted to learn as much as I could about London. Considering I’ve been here for well over two years and am just getting to them now, clearly I didn’t dive right in.

I’ve now read a few books like this one, and I think overall it’s probably the easiest read. It feels a bit repetitive at times, but that’s because most of the places have similar stories – they are names for someone royal, or for someone no one can remember, or for a geological feature.

I appreciated that Taggart didn’t include stories about ever street or every part of London – she picked some highlights. Now, I’m not sure how much cultural awareness went into her decision-making; it’s entirely possible that she systematically left out areas that might have significance to BAME groups or immigrants. But she did at least cover London south of the river, which I think some folks forget even exists. To that end, I live and work (when I’m not in lock-down) in south London, so I especially enjoyed learning about the history of the places I used to walk by every day.

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Three Stars

Best for:
Me, I thought, but apparently not, as I was not able to get through it all.

In a nutshell:
Oh boy. Iris’s sister has driven herself off a bridge and is dead. Then there’s another book, a science-fiction-y type book. Then Iris is a child, and we learn about her life growing up. Apparently later on there are many twists.

Worth quoting:
“Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. Solid flesh can never live up to the bright shadow case by its absence.

Why I chose it:
I bought this awhile ago, right around when I first read The Handmaid’s Tale and wanted to read more of her work.

Review:
It’s hard to review a book that I couldn’t get into, especially when maybe the issue was me? The writing is great – I can picture the characters and every scene I read. The story overall was just I think too jumpy in the beginning for me to feel invested in any area of it. I generally enjoy time jumps and not really knowing where something is going in a novel, but this felt so disjointed that I couldn’t get into any sort of flow with it.

I can see a world where I start this book on a flight and then keep reading it while on vacation. But with everything going on right now, and all the different ways to get distracted right now, I needed a book that would immediately suck me in, and this one did not.

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