ASK Musings

Four Stars

Best for:
Those interested in a new way to think about society and community.

In a nutshell:
The Care Collective makes the case for a re-framing of our priorities, putting care at the top, and organizing society around that.

Worth quoting:
“The inherently careless practice of ‘growing the economy’ has taken priority over ensuring the well-being of citizens.”

“One of the great ironies surrounding care is that it is actually the rich who are most dependent on those they pay to service them in innumerable personal ways.”

“We must begin by recognising the myriad ways that our survival and our thriving are everywhere and always contingent on others.”

Why I chose it:
Verso books had a big sale. I might have bought a lot…

Review:
During the first UK lock down I joined a mutual aid WhatsApp group. I think the local council supported it with funds, but volunteers managed requests and then posted to the group to see who could fulfill them. Most required use of a car, which I didn’t have, but I was occasionally able to help out by printing a grocery gift certificate and home and then walking it over to a neighbor. When we were able to get a grocery delivery slot, we checked with our neighbor to see if they needed us to get them anything; we both shared extra food from produce boxes or extra things we had baked (our neighbor was a pastry chef, so I think we got the better end of that deal). I have friends with young kids who created ‘pods’ so they could spread the child caring responsibilities while also giving their children a way to socialize when they weren’t in-person in school.

I think for me and many others not raised in a culture of care and community, the pandemic has opened our eyes to what we can all do when we support each other, and how much better life is when we support and care for each other. This manifesto explores how much all of our lives could be improved by putting care at the center of our economy, government, and communities. It starts by making the case that we need to expand the idea of who is a carer in our life from immediate family to our friends and neighbors. Yes, some types of care (such as personal hygiene support) may require a close or intimate relationship, but many others just require being willing and supportive of our friends and neighbors.

In looking at the caring community, the authors argue for four main features. One is mutual support – so the types of things I mentioned at the start of this review. The second is public space – taking back green and other types of spaces that have been privatized and given to companies or private property owners. The third is shared resources – they discuss not just book libraries but other types of sharing systems like tool libraries or appliance shares (do you need a leaf blower every day, or can you perhaps borrow one a couple times a year?). And finally the last is local democracy – supporting the community at a local level based on what is needed.

I enjoyed reading this book as it got me thinking further about what our society really could be, and how deeply disappointing the concept of neoliberalism is, and how ridiculous capitalism is. We can do so much better.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend to a Friend and Keep

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Three Stars (2.5 if I did half stars)

Best for:
Fans of Sally Rooney’s books.

In a nutshell:
Eileen and Simon have known each other since they were little. Alice and Eileen have been friends since university. Eileen and Felix have just met. Events transpire.

Worth quoting:
“I think I have by now forgotten how to conduct social intercourse. I dread to imagine what kind of faces I was making, in my efforts to seem like the kind of person who regularly interacts with others.”

Why I chose it:
This was in a book subscription I got, and it’s the only hardback fiction on my to-be-read bookshelf, so thought I’d finally read it.

Review:
Sigh. I think this is a book I’m ‘supposed’ to like? Or maybe I’m too old for it? The main characters are all in their 30s, and I’m in my 40s, so perhaps this is just not for me? But I’ve read other fiction where the leads are all much younger than me and enjoyed those, so maybe it’s just this author’s style that doesn’t sit well with me. I enjoyed her first book “Conversations with Friends”, though “Normal People” was fine, and enjoyed this the least.

It isn’t that the story isn’t believable, or that there is anything inherently wrong with it. It just isn’t very good. Or should I say, it isn’t constructed in a way that I found interesting. I finished it mostly because it was a pretty easy read (though my kingdom for a paragraph break or a set of quotation marks) and I’d already started it. I briefly saw one review that it was an attempt at a modern take on 18th century novels of letters, which, absolutely fine, but the emails that take up half the book are borderline absurd. Maybe that’s the point! But I can’t imagine anyone really writing to their friends in such a way. I mean, perhaps people do, but I think people text their thoughts? I don’t know, perhaps this was Rooney’s way of trying to knock texting, or make a social commentary on how we choose to interact with those who don’t live near us. If so, cool. But it still didn’t work for me.

As for the characters, I guess I cared about them? Again, I don’t know. I suppose I should have seen Eileen’s personality early on, but the Eileen in the second half of the book could have been a complete different character from the Eileen in the first. Also I suppose the focus was on the women, but giving a little bit of background to the men frustrated me because either we’re going to get to know them or we aren’t. Going halfway there didn’t work for me.

I’d imagine being a lauded author with one’s second book even better received than the first can create a lot of pressure for the third, and I hope that this is the book Rooney wanted to write regardless of how it might be received. I think a lot of people are going to enjoy it. Just not me.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
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Four Stars

Best for:
Those who enjoy interesting, somewhat mystical novels that aren’t extremely fantastical.

In a nutshell:
Noemí Taboada has been asked by her father to visit her cousin Catalina, who is newly married and living in a giant home in the Mexican countryside. She’s sent a worrying letter, so Noemí is off to investigate and see if Catalina needs help.

Worth quoting:
“A woman who is not liked is a bitch, and a bitch can hardly do anything; all avenues are closed to her.”

Why I chose it:
This was a Christmas gift from my bestie in Seattle. She knows me well.

Review:
I’ve seen so many reviews of this book pop up, but I’ve not read any of them, and I’m glad, because I remained completely unspoiled. To avoid spoilers for anyone reading this review, I’ll just offer some thoughts on the experience of reading the book.

First of all, the book is a pretty literal metaphor for the dangers of colonialism, and author Moreno-Garcia does a great job of weaving all the problems of it through the book. From how it impacts the town and those who encounter this family, to the family itself. It is a rot.

The writing itself is so beautiful and vivid. I read the first chapter in a room where my partner was watching TV, and I had to finish it in a separate part of our apartment because the language and story demanded my full attention. I read the first 25% of the book over a couple of days, but read the final two thirds in basically one sitting, and I highly recommend that approach. Some aspects are deeply disturbing, and some parts are extremely frustrating, but I think the book benefits from taking it all in at once as much as possible.

The characters in the book were all interesting, especially Noemí. She seems to take herself none too seriously, and is okay with others mostly not taking her that seriously either, but as the novel progresses she sees the responsibilities she has to her cousin and herself, and takes those duties to heart. She has an end goal, and is willing to do what it takes to get there. She needs help and is open to it, though, and I appreciate that.

I don’t think I’ve really read a book like this before, but I’d be happy reading more.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend to a Friend and Donate it

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Four Stars

Best for:
Those who like a little philosophy and exploration of life with their novels.

In a nutshell:
Nora Seed has decided to stop living. She finds herself in some sort of limbo, a library filled with alternate versions of her life not lived.

Worth quoting:
“This was it. No one needed her. She was superfluous to the universe.”

“Sometimes regrets aren’t based on fact at all. Sometimes regrets are just … a load of bullshit.”

Why I chose it:
On my first flights since the pandemic started, I wanted to something comforting and interesting to read, and so picked this up at the airport. I ended up being so nervous I just watched movies the whole time, but thought this year I should be sure to read more fiction, so finally cracked it open.

Review:
What an utterly lovely book. I have seen author Haig’s books in shops before, but didn’t realize he wrote fiction as well as non-fiction.

I thought this book would be more like The End of Days, which was one of my favorites from last year, but it wasn’t. I mean, there are some shared elements, but it’s a wholly different experience.

We learn very early on that Nora’s life is not going well. Her mum and dad are both dead, her brother seems to not speak to her, she called of a wedding two days before it was meant to happen, she’s working in a job she isn’t particularly good at, and her cat has just died. It’s too much, and she decides she is done. But in the immediate moments after she takes action, she finds herself in a giant library, filled with endless books. And a librarian who teaches her that each book is an alternate life.

So, what happens when you get to glimpse into different versions of your life? What if you’d stuck with piano and became a major star? What if you’d pursued that arts degree instead of the ‘more sensible’ law degree your parents pushed you towards? What if you’d stayed with that perfectly fine girlfriend?

There is so much to absorb in this book, but the overarching theme I’ve taken away from it is that regret isn’t — or doesn’t have to be — something that hangs over us. Sure, there might be some very specific moments of regret in anyone’s life that perhaps might have turned the tides (we all make mistakes), but who is to say that the route you might have gone down would have been any better than the one you chose instead? Moreover, what should we be focusing on in our time here? Is it regret? Is it a search for meaning? Or, at the risk of sounding like a cursive woodcutting purchased on Etsy, should we just focusing on living and loving?

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend to a Friend and Donate it

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Four Stars

Best for:
Anyone living in England.

In a nutshell:
Barrister Weaver provides the basics of one’s rights in England.

Worth quoting:
“If you buy something on your credit card costing more than £100 and up to £30,000, then the credit card provider is equally as liable as the supplier (seller) if something goes wrong.”

Why I chose it:
Especially in 2020 where there were worldwide protests, my partner and I (who live here on visas) weren’t entire clear what the rules were. We realized we didn’t know what most of the laws here were; this book seemed perfect to help us out.

Review:
What a gem of a book! Author Weaver started doing YouTube videos called ‘The Law in 60 Seconds’ to help him study for his law exams. Those have morphed into this book that is slightly larger than pocket-sized, though definitely could fit into a purse or backpack.

The book starts with a review of human rights, then covers a dozen areas of the law: renting, relationships, shopping, transport, healthcare, money, employment, alcohol and other drugs, the digital world, activism, on the street, and the justice system. It offers tips on what your rights are and what to do when you’re stopped by the police, or if your landlord isn’t making necessary repairs. It goes into detail about employment law, which is extremely helpful. It obviously doesn’t cover every possible scenario, but it touches on all the major ones.

I wish that more of us were encourage to know and understand our rights, In the US, I’ve wished there was a mandatory senior year course that was actual home and life economics. Not just learning to cook and sew (though that’s awesome), but learning about checking accounts, and leases, and such. I’d love to see serious exploration and discussion of rights and responsibilities covered in there as well. Not in at the high level of a traditional civics course, but a really practical level. Like, can you imagine if everyone in the US understood you don’t actually have to talk to the police, and you have a right to an attorney, and also that it’s probably a good idea to have one if you talk to the police? (Also, I learned through this book that in the UK, not talking initially and then talking later can definitely be held against you. Yikes.)

This was published this year, but unfortunately the Tory parliament here is hard at work to repeal the human rights act and implement a horrific limit on protest rights. So I’m thinking an updated version will be needed soon.

Also, can you imagine wanting to repeal HUMAN RIGHTS? Ugh, so vile.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
I’m definitely going to keep this one. And might also pick up copies for friends.

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Three Stars

Best for:
Anyone who wants to learn a little bit more about modern-day terrorism and extremism.

In a nutshell:
Author Ebner adopts different identities to explore – online and in person – different extremist groups, from neo-Nazis to ‘trad wives.’

Worth quoting:
“Almost everything is gamified today, and that includes terrorism.”

Why I chose it:
It just sounded interesting.

Review:
This book is interesting and deeply disturbing, but it also feels more like it should have been a multi-part investigative magazine series in something like The Atlantic. Ebner does attempt to create a lifecycle across the stories, starting with recruitment, then socialisation, communication, networking, mobilisation, and attack. And I appreciate that she explored many different extremist groups, but I think it would have been a stronger book if there had been aspects of different groups explored in each of the areas. Instead, she does a deeper dive into different groups (two per section, with their own standalone chapters), which doesn’t help much with seeing how the connections work across the same group.

The book ends with some predictions (some of which have more or less already come true) and some suggestions on how to counteract these extremist groups. But given that this book was published just last year, it feels almost sweetly naive in some ways. Not that Ebner herself is naive, but things have gone so bad so quickly – the 6 January insurrection in the US, the vile racist and xenophobic anti-immigrant laws passing in the UK – many of her suggestions seem like too little too late.

Recommend to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:
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Four Stars

Best for:
Fans of Seth Rogen. Fans for humorous memoirs in general.

In a nutshell:
Actor, writer, and apparently former stand-up comedian (?)

Worth quoting:
Many things, but I listened while working out so didn’t note anything down.

Why I chose it:
I find Seth Rogen generally pretty funny in general, and the fact that he — and others — were doing the reading of the book sucked me in.

Review:
I didn’t know much about Rogen when I started listening to this book. I think I first saw him in Knocked Up (I missed Freaks and Geeks originally and had to watch it once it was available on streaming), and have seen others of the movies he’s written, like Superbad and 50/50. I don’t generally have a strong opinion about him either way. Or at least, I didn’t. Now, I rather like him.

The book is a mixture of stories from his childhood and stories of his life as a successful actor and writer. And of course there is a long running theme: his use of drugs like weed and mushrooms. If one isn’t a fan of stories of drug use, this probably isn’t the right book. Rogen does however seem at least somewhat aware that he was able to get away with many of his antics because he was a white kid, and that the stories might have gone very differently for a person of color.

Things that surprised me – he started doing stand-up comedy (didn’t know) at age 12! And like, kept at it all through his teen years. Fascinating. But the stories that really were interesting to listen to include his experience with mushrooms in Amsterdam, and the whole story behind the movie The Interview, about a journalist sent to assassinate the leader of North Korea.

Rogen is a great storyteller. There’s a casual tone that feels like someone funny I know just telling a story after dinner when we’re hanging out. But what really made the book for me is the fact that he got a ton of people to read whatever wasn’t in his voice. When his wife first appears in the story, she reads her part. Jason Segel features in a discussion about a ridiculous audition for 8 Mile. Even Snoop Dogg (yes, him) makes an appearance. It breaks up what can be a challenge of audio books, and keeps the reader involved.

Recommend to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend to a Friend

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