ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

Author Archive

Sunday

19

March 2023

0

COMMENTS

Her Majesty’s Royal Coven by Juno Dawson

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Three Stars

Best for:
People looking for magical worlds set in contemporary time, without supporting, say, anti-trans authors.

In a nutshell:
Witches are real, and there is a prophesy that a newly discovered teen, Theo, might bring about something very, very bad. A group of friends who were young witches together and have now followed different paths all become involved in addressing this.

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
I believe this was the last book I received before I ended a book subscription.

What it left me feeling:
Excited for the second in the series.

Review:
SPOILERS. CN for anti-trans words and actions, violence, war.

Spoilers because I can’t talk about most of the main points of the book without spoiling something that doesn’t happen until maybe 1/3 of the way through.

This book is set in modern times in the UK. HMRC is the initialism for Her (now His) Majesty’s Revenue and Customs, so it’s fun that the author is suggesting that HMRC also stands for Her Majesty’s Royal Coven. As an aside, I wonder if the next book will call it His Majesty’s Royal Coven? Anyway, the point is the book is set in the UK, and there are witches.

Helena, Niamh, Ciara, Elle and Leonie grew up together and discovered they were witches when they were young. Flash forward, and a great war has happened (where Ciara was on the wrong side, and is now permanently unconscious thanks to actions by her sister Niamh), involving all the witches and warlocks. In this world, witches are the more powerful – no warlock could be as powerful as a witch. And yet a teen boy Theo appears and is more powerful that pretty much any witch, and appears to be part of a prophesy that will result in a lot of very bad things. He doesn’t talk, he is scared, and Helena – who is now head of HMRC – asks her friend Niamh – who has left HMRC and works as a veterinarian – to take Theo in while they try to figure what to do.

Here’s where the spoilers come in – Niamh also takes in Elle’s daughter Holly to help train her now that she has learned she is a witch, and Theo comes out to Holly as trans. Which explains how Theo could be so powerful – she’s not a warlock, she’s a witch! Niamh and Holly are super supportive, but Helena is not. Helena is for sure a TERF, and from then on things get rough between the friend group.

Leonie is the only member of the friend group who is Black, and also the only one who is a lesbian. She left HMRC to form her own coven for witches who are Black and women of color so they have a place to be safe from the racism of white women. I think that part is well done and really interesting to read, but I appreciate some reviews I read that feel like Leonie is tasked with taking on too much representation (why are all the other witches in the friend group straight and white?), and her storyline sometimes feels a bit shoehorned in. That said, I think Leonie was my favorite character after Niamh, and part of that is probably because we spend much more time with Niamh.

The author of the book is a trans woman herself, and I’d imagine writing this book was a bit cathartic for her, given how shitty so many alleged feminist white women are to trans women in the UK right now. The reason the book for me is only three stars is that the writing is a bit … underdeveloped? Like, I wasn’t sure for awhile if I was reading a YA book. The chapters are all very short, and are from different character perspectives, which is a device I quite like, but needed a bit more refinement I think. That said, the ending was a full on gut punch, and I’m super looking forward to the sequel, which comes out this summer.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Donate it

Sunday

5

March 2023

0

COMMENTS

Unnatural Causes by Dr Richard Shepherd

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Three Stars

Best for:
Those interested in the details of forensic pathology.

In a nutshell:
Forensic pathologist Dr Shepherd shares his experience in the field, along with how his work impacted his life and the lives of his family members.

Worth quoting:
N/A Audio book

Why I chose it:
Although I no longer work in emergency preparedness, I do still find the field fascinating, and because I did work on mass fatality response planning in particular, I

What it left me feeling:
Contemplative

Review:
This book basically did what is promised – it gave me some insight into forensic pathology in the UK. As someone who worked with forensic anthropologists and medical examiners / coroners in the US, I was interested to see if its much different in the UK. Not really, though the system of naming conventions is slightly different (e.g., in the state I worked in, a coroner was elected, while a medical examiner was a medical doctor, and one would find a medical examiner in large population areas, whereas it seems only coroner is used here).

Dr Shepherd spent most of his working life in the 1980s and later, so he’s seen the evolution of things like DNA testing for identification. He has also scene changes in how certain types of deaths are treated and investigated, including deaths in police or prison custody, and deaths of small children. He also worked on some well-known forensic events in the UK, including the Marchioness boat disaster on the Thames and the 7 July bombings in 2005.

He also had a wife and raised two children, and he speaks of how his working life impacted theirs. His wife later in life retrains to be a doctor as well, so their calendars are usually in conflict, with him on call for events taking place at any time day or night. There are a lot of professions where we assume someone will be available 24/7 (and rightly should be), but I don’t think we spend enough time thinking about how to best support the people and the families of the people who we expect to fill in those roles.

He touches often on the concept of truth, which I found fascinating. People in his profession are often called to make definitive conclusions, whereas often the data and examination lean heavily towards one conclusion, but others cannot necessarily be ruled out. How we die isn’t always straightforward, and the stories told around death aren’t complete if they don’t include the information the dead provide through examination of their bodies. And even then … sometimes we just cannot know exactly what or how something happened.

I listened to the author read the audio version of this, which I would recommend. However, he is very detailed in his descriptions of things, so if you would be sensitive to accurate discussions of anatomy after death as well as the manner of injury for things like homicide and sexual assault, I’d suggest skipping this one.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
None of the above

Sunday

5

March 2023

0

COMMENTS

How to Kill Men and Get Away With It by Katy Brent

Written by , Posted in Uncategorized

Four Stars

Best for:
Anyone with a strong stomach and a desire to read a deeply disturbing but also kind of funny revenge fantasy. I had a fairly long travel day yesterday, involving two short flights but a lot of airport time. I started the book at 11:30. I finished it at about 5pm.

In a nutshell:
Content notes for the book and the review: sexual assault, pedophilia, murder, animal cruelty, probably a lot of other things

Influencer Kitty accidentally killed someone who was about to sexually assault her. And got away with it. Will this become a pattern?

Worth quoting:
“ ‘Ladies,’ he says, holding his glass up like he’s Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby. If you think extremely average white men have a confidence they don’t deserve, imagine one with money who has been gushed over since he was about twelve.”

Why I chose it:
My partner spotted it in a bookshop and though it would be right up my alley.

What it left me feeling:
Stunned

Review:
I mean … this book is absurd. Obviously. Pretty much all the characters, including the main one, are pretty unlikable. Pretty, rich, vapid. Etc. And the book is violent as fuck (so probably not the healthiest media to consume). And there’s some sex scenes that were a bit racier than I was expecting (As someone who reads mostly non-fiction, or if its fiction, it’s often crime-based, I’m also forgetting that people like to read sex scenes. I just don’t expect them.) And the literal logistics of some things (like her ability to dismember a large man’s body) are doubtful.

But.

BUT.

In real life, I’m opposed to the death penalty. I think the prison industrial complex and the criminal punishments systems are deeply fucked.

In real life, I’ve also been cat called, and known numerous women who have been sexually assaulted by men who faced no repercussions. So a book that’s all about a woman who has had enough and just takes matters into her own hands? I found it pretty satisfying. The plot of the book also has some twists and some slightly unexpected moments, so it isn’t totally predictable.

The author in a note at the end acknowledges that there have been many recent looks at women as revenge / serial killers. I think this book succeeds where the film Promising Young Woman tried and failed.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Donate it

Sunday

5

March 2023

0

COMMENTS

How to Do the Work by Dr Nicole LePera

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Two Stars

Best for:
People who are already working with a therapist, as that therapist can point out which parts of the book are useful and which are … super not.

In a nutshell:
Instagram influencer psychologist Dr LePera offers her suggestions on how to work through issues

Worth quoting:
I underlined a lot, but I don’t think there’s anything worth sharing.

Why I chose it:
There’s an area I’m working on in therapy and I asked my therapist for a book recommendation. She suggested this one. She and I are going to have a chat about it next session.

What it left me feeling:
Both motivated and suspicious

Review:
As I was reading this book, I had some reservations. Some parts were helpful in me understanding things, and some suggestions fall into the ‘couldn’t hurt’ category, but something about this book was rubbing me the wrong way. Was it because I just wasn’t ready to read some of the suggestions? Or was it because it felt a little … grifty? Honestly, I’m already going to side-eye anyone who promotes intermittent fasting, but no author and I are going to agree on everything. But there’s something about the tone of this book that feels very bootstrap-y. Like, a little bit like The Secret but for therapy? Dr LePera seems to push the notion that one can literally fix anything through some breath work and journaling.

She does pay lip service to privilege (though really as it relates to racism, and not seeming to see how people who are not disabled, or how people in other marginalized communities might face challenges) but overall the biggest take-away for me from her is that the individual is both responsible for and able to create their own future. Which, on the surface, sounds great … except it isn’t true? Like, some shit is beyond our control, and it seems weirdly un-evolved and unhealthy to ignore that. She talks about diseases that have a genetic component, sharing stories of for example a woman with MS who couldn’t walk but now can, I guess because she healed her inner child? I’m being glib, but I find that to be a dangerous outlook.

As I said, I had some reservations, but I did also find parts related to inner child work and parental relationships useful. If I’d written this review the second I put down the book, it probably would have been a solid 3, maybe 3.5 stars. She even has a new book coming out and is coming to my town to talk, and I signed up for tickets. Seemed like a sign!

Except, literally the next day, a good friend who is a therapist, and who had no idea I was reading this book, out of the blue raised how dangerous this woman is as an Instagram influencer. And I should have picked up this – she has a name for the people who are super into her work. Like, that’s just culty behavior. I appreciate and recognize the need for supports for people around mental health, especially as one on one therapy is expensive and not even available to many people, but the way she presents her information on Instagram really raises some questions about the ethics of this type of work in the way she does it.

Now, is that a reasonable thing to include in a book review? I think so. One can’t separate the ‘art’ from the ‘artist’ when the artist is still possibly causing harm, so I think anyone who is considering picking up this book should do more research than I did into the author.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Keep it (for the bits mentioned above that were relevant)

Thursday

23

February 2023

0

COMMENTS

Miracles of Our Own Making by Liz Williams

Written by , Posted in Uncategorized

Three Stars

Best for:
Pagans interested in some of the history of the beliefs and practice.

In a nutshell:
Author Williams provides a multi-century overview of the beliefs, practices, groups, and secret societies that are associated with paganism in the UK.

Worth quoting:
“It is always worth your while to ask two questions: ‘how do we know?’ and ‘who said this first?’”

Why I chose it:
I find spiritual practices and belief systems outside the big three Abrahamic faiths to be quite interesting.

What it left me feeling:
Searching

Review:
I was raised vaguely Christian (like, my mom went to a church on Christmas and Easter until I was maybe six). I had a VERY Christian phase in 8th and 9th grade, but by college and after I was leaning more agnostic, with a brief exploration of paganism in the form of Wicca.

As I get older, I think that I’m getting a bit less rigid in some of my beliefs (though more rigid in others lol). Like, I don’t think I’ve ever seriously defined myself as atheist, because I can’t know. And it’s sort of arrogant to assume I do, or even can. But I find nature, and the power of nature, to be calming and inspiring, and so when I think about spirituality and religion, I think of that, and I’m more open to the ideas around it.

Which brings me to why I picked up this book. I was in a fairly tiny bookshop and this jumped out at me. I don’t know much of the history of different forms of paganism, and thought this would be an interesting bit of reading. And the first half was, but the second half, I don’t know, I found it hard to follow. It feels like it it would have worked better as an encyclopedia – each chapter, in the back half, has a lot of sub-headings of different groups or belief systems, and while Williams makes a solid effort to connect all of these things, it doesn’t totally work for me.

One thing Williams’s research makes clear is that there isn’t really a straight line or unbroken connection between ancient pagan belief systems and current paganism, despite what some claim. Modern practices draw from a lot, but Williams argues that they pull from what spoke to them. They aren’t partaking in something that’s been unchanged for centuries. I suppose that matters to some people, but I don’t know. I think one can learn a lot from a variety of beliefs and practices, and can put together something that feels right to oneself.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Keep for reference

Tuesday

21

February 2023

0

COMMENTS

Queer Icons and Their Cats by Alison Nastasi and PJ Nastasi

Written by , Posted in Uncategorized

Three Stars

Best for:
People looking for a niche book that will each them a little bit a bout a bunch of queer folks, and also has pictures of cats.

In a nutshell:
The title pretty much sums it up.

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
My partner read it, and it looked pretty adorable. Also, cats!

What it left me feeling:
Vaguely disappointed

Review:
This is a tiny little coffee table-style book. It’s only about 100 pages and maybe 45 people are featured. There’s a photo of the person with a cat, and then a brief biography about the person. It’s pretty straightforward, however …

It’s not actually about people and THEIR cats. I’d say a good half of these folks just happened to be photographed with a cat once, or maybe adopted a cat at some point. Only a few of the feature people are like Freddy Mercury, who were definitely very much into their cats. That’s fine – the point is really to learn about the individuals, not their cats, but the book title seems to be a bit misleading.

That aside, I did enjoy learning about lots of queer folks who I was not familiar with, ranging across the past hundred years or so. Some people (like Mercury) are ones most people know about, but there were also older authors and overall queer pioneers that I’d never heard of. So that was cool.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Keep – because again, cats!

Sunday

19

February 2023

0

COMMENTS

The Comfort Book by Matt Haig

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Four Stars

Best for:
Anyone who is looking for a bit of encouragement in a non-self-help format.

In a nutshell:
Through dozens of tiny chapters (many no longer than a paragraph long), author Haig offers reflections on life for the reader to take comfort in.

Worth quoting:
I underlined so many phrases in this book, so this section could be miles long.

“Don’t drain yourself trying to be understood by people who insist on not understanding you.”

Why I chose it:
I think I was looking for a little bit of comfort and some inspiration.

What it left me feeling:
Safe

Review:
What a lovely little book. In the hands of a less talented writer it could have felt overly … sappy? Meaningless? Shallow? A book full of paragraph-long chapters could come across as a gimmick, but this doesn’t. It comes across as the writings of someone who has felt profound sadness and depression as well as happiness and joy.

I get the feeling from reading Haig’s books that he just wants other humans to feel like they are enough. That there is life out there and in here for all of us, and we don’t need to spend our time focused on things we don’t need, or relationships that aren’t good for us. We don’t need to lose weight, or have children, or get a promotion to have value. That life is for living and enjoying, and that we have no way of knowing the future, so we need to find ways to live with and even value the uncertainty.

I struggle with things I cannot control (like, you know, pretty much everything, right?). Uncertainty, the unknown, the unplanned – these are not things that I thrive on. But reading, in many different ways, ideas for how to think about the unknown, the uncertainty is indeed comforting.

This book is going up on my shelf, and I will be taking it down whenever need a reminder that I am enough.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend and keep

Sunday

19

February 2023

0

COMMENTS

Why Marx Was Right by Terry Eagleton

Written by , Posted in Politics, Reviews

Three Stars

Best for:
People who are already VERY familiar with Marx’s work and are looking for an outside opinion on how to defend different aspects of it.

In a nutshell:
Author Eagleton looks at what he believes are common arguments uses against Marxism and refutes them.

Worth quoting:
“Only through others can we come into our own.”

Why I chose it:
I thought it would be an interesting and easier to read way to learn more about Marx’s thoughts and writing. (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t, at least not for me.)

What it left me feeling:
Skeptical

Review:
I might have been led slightly astray by the pull quotes from reviews on the cover of the copy I purchased. ‘Irresistibly Lively and Thought-Provoking.’ ‘Short, Witty, and Highly Accessible.’ I think this is probably true (except the short part – a 250 page book is not short. It’s not long, but it’s not short), but the caveat should be on there somewhere that those only apply to readers who are already very well acquainted with the writing, theory, and discussion of Marx and Marxism. This is not a book where one LEARNS about Marxism. This is a book where one thinks more about it in relation to other areas of thought.

It is an easy read, in that the author is a decent writer. However, after reading the first half of the book very carefully, I ended up just skimming the latter half because I knew what was coming, and I knew it wasn’t going to be what I was looking for. Each chapter starts with what I think is a flaw in the set-up of the book: instead of pulling real quotes at the start to highlight the arguments opposing Marxism that he’s about to refute, he just has a sort of paragraph where he paraphrases the complaints. I think I get why he made that choice, but it doesn’t work nearly as well as real-world examples. It leaves Eagleton too open to complaints of strawmen.

In the chapters I read closely, a lot of Eagleton’s arguments seemed to boil down to this: Capitalists might make a claim about Marxism, but even if the claim is true, it’s also probably true of Capitalism. Or, because Marx (notoriously) doesn’t really talk about the details of what his version of society would look like, it’s easy to impose outside opinions on it in a negative way, and that’s not fair.

But here’s the thing – these arguments all sounds fine to me, but I don’t know enough about Marx to know if Eagleton’s commentary is accurate. Now, this is going to be an issue with pretty much all non-fiction books, right? We rely on the author to be something of an expert in their field, to have thought through and researched. When I read a Mary Roach book, I don’t just accept everything at face value, but generally I assume that her interpretation of the facts is generally accurate.

But with things like political philosophy, for me it gets much murkier. What values is the author bringing into the discussion? Are they the same as my values? What have they chosen to leave out that would change the entire discussion? Without some of my own first-hand reading of the text, this type of book isn’t really going to work. When I was in grad school for philosophy, yes, I definitely needed to read articles by contemporary writers that discussed Aristotle, but I also needed to read Aristotle myself, so I could come into the discussions with some first-hand understanding. And I think that in the same way, before I (or others) read works like this, we need to read the original arguments first.

Now, is that the author’s fault? Probably not, and that’s why this is a three star and not a two star rating for me.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Keep and maybe revisit later

Friday

17

February 2023

0

COMMENTS

Finding Me by Viola Davis

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Five Stars

Best for:
Those familiar with Davis’s work. Those interested in a serious discussion of the challenges a Black woman faces.

In a nutshell:
Actor Viola Davis

Worth quoting:
“Forgiveness is giving up all hope of a different past.”

Why I chose it:
I heard people talking about it so I purchased the audio book (I do love a celebrity memoir read by the author). Then she won the Grammy for the performance of it so I decided it was time to start it.

What it left me feeling:
Happy (for the author)

Review:
Before this book I didn’t know much about Viola Davis. I’ve seen some of her work – Doubt, The Help, How to Get Away With Murder – but I didn’t know how she chose this career, or what her life was like.

This is a memoir that feels deeply honest, written by someone who has done the work to sort through experiences that hopefully most readers can only imagine. Living in poverty, having an abusive parent, facing racism, sexism. And managing to find a way to be successful and happy working in an industry that is notoriously racist and sexist.

Davis’s childhood was rough. Like, rough in a way that I can’t quite fully comprehend. The fact that society just … allows living conditions like the one her family experienced. And that’s not a commentary on her parents – that’s a commentary on social support and safety nets. If food stamps only last half the month, that’s better than nothing but it’s also not nearly enough. No adults, let along children, should be fending off rats. The fact that she not only survived that childhood but is a functional, thriving adult? I mean, damn.

Another area that I wasn’t really expecting was Davis’s experience at Julliard and the how the gatekeepers of talent perpetuate the systems of oppression. People associate Julliard with training some of the most talented people in the arts, but Davis shared how that training promoted and perpetuated white ideals of what talent and art are. I’m not surprised to learn this, but I am disappointed.

I appreciated Davis’s transparency around being a working actor, and the ideas about ‘integrity’ and what types of roles people take. She breaks down how few people are able to make enough money to get the good health care in SAG – I think it’s 4%? – and the threshold for that is earning $20,000 a year. Imagine. 4% of all actors on TV and in film making that much. She is clearly someone who desperately loves her art and her craft, and takes it very seriously, but also seems to recognize that work is work, and very few people can afford to be choosy.

After listening to the audio book, I can see why she won the Grammy (completing the EGOT, and for performances only for the first time in many years). I’d recommend if you’re thinking of reading this to choose the audio version.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Recommend to a Friend.

Sunday

12

February 2023

0

COMMENTS

Why Is This A Question by Paul Anthony Jones

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Four Stars

Best for:
Those interested in learning more about language (mostly English, but other languages as well).

In a nutshell:
Author Jones looks to answer 20 different questions about language.

Worth quoting:
“No matter what we say or how we say it, communication is fundamentally a demand for a person’s time, attention, effort, interest, knowledge and cooperation.”

Why I chose it:
I enjoy books like this.

What it left me feeling:
Informed.

Review:
Jones pulls off something that I think is a bit tricky: he’s written a fun book about language that is easy to read but also include a lot of interesting trivia and in depth history. In the hands of a different writer this might have been a challenge to read – it could have been too dense, or pulled out information that just wasn’t as interesting. But Jones has found a way to pick the right examples to explain things, and also to pick questions that I did indeed want to know the answers to.

The answers to each of the questions is a chapter long, with some just eight or nine pages, while others are over 20. The first four are the longest, as they tackle what is a word, what is a language, where do languages come from, and where do words come from. After that, it’s a bit more trivia focused, with questions like why does the ‘i’ have a dot, and why is the alphabet in ABC order, though by the end it returns to more philosophical and scientific questions, like how do we read and how do we speak.

I found myself occasionally interrupting my partner to share things I’d learned in the book. Like, for example, there’s a language in Australia (Guugu Yimithirr) that doesn’t use words for right and left; everything is direction based. So a speaker of that language would say ‘hand me the book that’s west of the lamp,’ instead of saying ‘hand me the book that’s to the right of the lamp.’ This then wires their brain to know where they are relative to north and south for the rest of their lives. Fascinating.

I think my favorite question from a trivia perspective was what is the hardest language to learn, because it looked at so many different ways different languages do their things. But all the chapters offered things I had never learned before. I think this might be a cool book to get someone who is thinking about studying language, as a sort of starter kit.

Recommend to a Friend / Keep / Donate it / Toss it:
Keep.