ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

Monthly Archive: February 2016

Monday

29

February 2016

0

COMMENTS

Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit

Written by , Posted in Feminism, Reviews

Five Stars

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This collection of essays contains the type of work I dream of doing. The writing is fantastic, and every sentence, every word serves a purpose. It is descriptive but not flowery; the author makes her case in each essay clearly and convincingly, yet still manages to challenge the reader.

You may be familiar with the titular essay in Rebecca Solnit’s collection “Men Explain Things to Me.” The essay was born from an experience she had at a party, where someone introduced her to a man by sharing, in part, that Ms. Solnit had just written a book on topic X. Before letting Ms. Solnit speak, the man started going on and on about a book Ms. Solnit just had to read on topic X. It took her three times to get him to understand that she wrote the book he was talking about.

If you are a woman, you’ve likely had a similar experience (although maybe not so dramatically) and can pull up examples quickly. The most immediate one for me came just a few months ago. Part of my job is planning for mass fatality incidents. I started out knowing next to nothing about it; over the past five year, however, I’ve been invited to speak on the topic at conferences, and even published a small article on it. What I’m saying is, I know more about it than your average bear. But upon meeting Dude A (slightly older white guy in a somewhat similar field), when it was shared with him that I do this work, he asked if I was familiar with DMORT. That’s sort of like asking an oncologist if she is familiar with chemotherapy. Yes, dude, I’m well aware. But thanks for assuming I’m not…

This 15-page essay takes the reader from the seemingly innocuous, eye-rolling scenario presented above and carefully walks us through the slippery slope that leads to women not being taken seriously in other realms. While being underestimated at a cocktail party is annoying, being underestimated when reporting domestic violence to the police is quite another. The running theme across the nine essays in this collection is one of voice, and credibility. Ms. Skolnit explores who we pay attention to, and who we believe.

She doesn’t discuss it, but many of her essays brought to mind the Bill Cosby case. One woman isn’t credible to the world; she is always assumed to be lying; the accused always assumed to be telling the truth. Not just in a court of law, but in discussions over dinner or at the gym. The man is assumed to be telling the truth, and only when literally dozens of women tell the same story does society even begin to consider that perhaps they are the ones who are telling the truth.

My favorite essay is her exploration of marriage equality. Her central thesis is that same-sex marriage is a threat: a threat to the power imbalance that has ruled marriage for centuries. No wonder so many people who benefit from the default model of man as head of household are scared of marriage equality; those relationships offer from the start opportunities for an equitable role for each spouse. Ms. Solnit makes this argument much more eloquently than I am, and it’s a really interesting take that I hadn’t fully considered.

I love that this collection got my mind racing. It’s reminded me that I don’t just want to finish my book or throw together hastily written blog posts; I want to really explore the issues that are relevant to me in a deeper, meaningful way. I’ve already ordered two of Ms. Solnit’s books and I cannot wait to dive into them, pen in hand, furiously scribbling marginalia throughout.

Saturday

27

February 2016

0

COMMENTS

That’s Not English by Erin Moore

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Three Stars

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One of my dearest friends (born and raised in the USA) married a man from England and moved with him to London, where they’ve been for eight years now. Her husband is a dear man who can embarrass very easily. One of my favorite ways to tease him is to ask him to look at my new pants. You’ve never seen a person turn red so quickly. Because, as you may or may not know, while in the U.S. we call those long bits of cloth we put on our legs pants, the English reserve that term for their underwear.

“That’s Not English” is all about the differences between those who speak English English and American English, using language as a jumping off point. Ms. Moore’s book appealed to me because I spent a year living and attending school in London about five years ago, and I was feeling a bit nostalgic. I recalled that even though we allegedly spoke the same language, there were definitely times where Londoners didn’t get me and I did not get them.

Each chapter focuses on one concept, highlighted by a word (more often the English English term it seems). So it isn’t simply a language book or translation guide; the word is the catalyst for a broader discussion on the concept. For example, the chapter on tipping isn’t so much about other ways the English might refer to the concept, but instead about how the English and people from the US think of the service industry. The section on “middle-class” doesn’t just discuss how that term might have a different connotation in the two countries, but takes a more detailed look at the broader issues of class and how they are demonstrated differently.

The book feels a bit more sociological than I expected, but I think that’s a good thing. If you’ve ever travelled to the U.K. (or if you’re from there and have spent time in the U.S.), I think you’ll find this book charming. It’s a quick, entertaining read.

Monday

22

February 2016

0

COMMENTS

Thursday

18

February 2016

0

COMMENTS

All the Light We Cannot See by Edward Doerr

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Four Stars

St-Malo-1944

Well damn.

This book, you guys. This book will maybe haunt me. As far as war-related novels that I will remember, it ranks only behind Atonement. I appreciated that it was, I feel, a really well-told story. Others have reviewed it for CBR before, but if you aren’t familiar with it, here’s a quick synopsis. A young girl Marie-Laure is blind and lives with her father, a museum curator, in Paris before the war. They flee when Paris is invaded by Germany. Werner is a German orphan with a younger sister. He is conscripted into military school as a teenager.

 The story is told through very short chapters, and alternates between the bombing of Saint-Malo and the years of Marie-Laure and Werner growing up. The writing is extremely vivid; I could easily picture every scene. It could have been too flowery, but instead it was just lovely.

 I read one review (I believe on CBR) that said it wasn’t real enough in describing war, making it seem more like the bedtime story or fairy tale version. I disagree with that assessment. Or, I should say, it felt that way to that reviewer, but I had a very different experience with the text.

 **Start Spoilers**

 I thought that the realities of war were brought out remarkably well. I appreciated that this wasn’t just a story about how war impacts soldiers, but about how it impacts individual civilians attempting to live their lives during extraordinary circumstance. For example, the way Madame was risking her life – and the lives of Etienne and Marie-Laure – to participate in the underground anti-war movement was harrowing. My breath caught when Marie-Laure took over. During the chapters on the bombing, I just thought of how someone who literally gets around because she knows the streets so well would have such challenges when the streets are no longer the same. How she couldn’t know if someone had snuck into the home.

And I did not think that the book was overly sympathetic to Werner. Now, if this were the only book or exposure a person ever had to Nazi Germany then sure, it’s clearly not the story of every Nazi soldier. But I think it’s so easy for people to just assume that everyone on the other side of is pure evil. I think it can be much more complicated than that – especially with young children are involved – and dehumanizing ‘the enemy’ makes it all too easy to forget that it’s possible for the person you think of as regular or even good to do some pretty awful things. I also think that Werner’s ending was absolutely appropriate. He’s done something he think is finally right (helping Marie-Laure), and gets so ill that in a fever dream he walks into a minefield. In a sense, it matters greatly that he helped Marie-Laure (for her, obviously), but for him … he still ended up dead from war.

 **End Spoilers**

 We are reading this for book club, so I’m really looking forward to hearing other peoples’ takes on this one. I don’t read that many novels, but I’m definitely glad I read this one.

 

Monday

15

February 2016

0

COMMENTS

Supreme

Written by , Posted in Politics

I don’t post to Facebook nearly as much as I used to these days. I share posts from where I work, but that’s usually it. However, I was compelled to post the following on Saturday:

“We elect Presidents for four-year terms, right? And it’s still only early February in one of the four years we most recently elected the President to govern for, right? So the idea that once again Republicans in Congress get to try to prevent the President from doing the job he was elected to do is disgusting and shameful.”

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The only sadness I feel in Justice Scalia’s passing is for his family. I do not feel like this is a loss for the country; I think his presence on the court has been harmful for so, so many people. Even just this term he’s made at least one incredibly racist statement during the arguments over affirmative action; I love what I know about Ruth Bader Ginsberg but I don’t particularly care that they both liked the opera. Justice Scalia chose to interpret the Constitution in the most narrow of  ways, and I don’t agree with his scholarship on the most important issues. I’m not thrilled that he is dead; I am thrilled he is off the court, and unfortunately death was how it happened for him.

So now we have Republicans in Congress suggesting that those of us who voted for the President don’t deserve to have him represent us in this important arena. That’s bullshit. He is president for almost one more full year, and just because Republicans think they might win the next election doesn’t mean the President should have to stop doing his damn job now. It’s not galling, and he’s not fighting against the grain when he makes a nomination; the President is doing what I an tens of millions of us in the US voted him in to office to do.

There is no space for compromise is this area; the Constitution mandates that the President make this appointment to the supreme court. I’m not oblivious enough to think that the Republicans will suddenly start acting like adults and not spoiled children, but I have faith that the President at least will continue to due his damn job.

Saturday

6

February 2016

0

COMMENTS

A Guide to the Good Life by William B. Irvine

Written by , Posted in Reviews

2 Stars

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This book took me forever to get through. It is gift-book sized and has fewer than 300 pages, but it was a slog. Some of the information was interesting, for sure, but if Professor Irvine’s understanding of Stoicism is correct, there are definitely a few things that I definitely disagree with.

The book starts with a bit of a background on Stoicism, and how it is misunderstood. Since we commonly use the word stoic to mean unemotional and humorless, Prof. Irvine argues that this is not what the Stoics were all about. They can control their emotions, and try not to waste energy on things beyond their control, but at the same time they still experience joy.

The goal for the Stoics is tranquility, and it is achieved through a few different tactics. One is negative visualization, which is where you picture the things you love going away. The goal is to appreciate them while you have them, yet recognizing that at some point they will be gone. It might seem a little dark, but I kind of get it.

Another tactic is focusing our desires on things within our control. We should be able to identify what is totally outside of our control and never worry about that. We should instead focus on things that are wholly within our control (what we do) and somewhat within out control. So instead of creating a goal of being the best X in the world (which is outside of our control), we should focus on being the X we can be. Then if we aren’t the best X in the world we will know its because of things we couldn’t change anyway. That, too, seems useful.

There’s an air of fatalism in Stoicism. There’s also a weird sort of libertarian / Scientology component. At least, that’s the best way I could describe it. I spent on chapter just infuriated by this white guy talking about how most people are unhappy because they let themselves be unhappy, and they should just not let the external world get to them. He laments being politically correct which, if you’ve read some of my other book reviews or comments on Pajiba, you know is the quickest way to get me to stop taking you seriously. If you think being respectful of other people is somehow a bad thing, or that we shouldn’t ask people to be responsible for how their actions and words affect others, then we don’t really have much to say to each other.

There are some things in here that are helpful, and I might try to incorporate into my life philosophy, but I’m certainly not interested in his version of Stoicism.

Monday

1

February 2016

0

COMMENTS

Some Podcasts I Enjoy

Written by , Posted in Reviews

There are a few podcasts I listen to pretty regularly that I thought I’d recommend in case you were looking for something to listen to on your commute to work. Warning: some of them are politically super progressive, so don’t be surprised when you hear them talk about the importance of social justice and movements like Black Lives Matter.

Citizen Radio came into regular rotation probably four years ago; I support it with monthly donations. It’s helmed by a husband and wife (and their two rescue kittens). Jamie Kilstein is a comic and musician; Allison Kilkenny is a journalist; they both are vegan and awesome. The first part of the podcast is actually known as the douchebag buffer; they talk about random stuff to weed out people who probably they don’t want listening to the podcast. But the buffer is usually fairly entertaining, and the show itself is often a great quick look at important issues.*

I also listen to and support financially This Week in Blackness, which is a fantastic independent media system full of different programs. I tend to listen to the evening podcast, which also airs live Monday – Thursday. Elon James White, Imani Gandi, and Aaron Rand Freeman discuss current events with (no surprise, given the title) a focus on how they impact Black people in the U.S. Being raised in a sheltered town full of (mostly) white people, my education on Black history and civil rights was laughable / despicable. I’m closer to 40 than 30 and I’m still learning to view things from different perspectives, and this podcast has been so great for that. I recommend it for everyone.

The motivation for this post actually came from the I Seem Fun podcast, featuring Jen Kirkman, a comedian and writer whose book I reviewed for Cannonball Read 6. The podcast has been around for two years, but for some reason I just found it. Ms. Kirkman is really funny and observant; you can catch her latest stand-up special on Netflix right now, and I’ll be catching her gig during the tour for her next book later this spring. So far the podcast is basically just shit she feels like talking about. In I think the third podcast she talks about how a woman was super rude during a book signing, and Ms. Kirkmann called her out on it. The woman said “Don’t be so sensitive,” to which Ms. Kirkman responded with possibly my favorite response ever: “No no no, I didn’t say I was affected by your rudeness, I just noticed it.” Gah, perfection.

There are some pop culture podcasts I listen to as well:

– Garbage Time, with Katie Nolan, is a sports podcast and it is hilarious. The Garbage 10 at the end of each interview is fantastic and really did get me to ponder: is a hot dog a sandwich?

A Cast of Kings only airs for about three months each spring, as it is focused on recapping and analyzing the HBO Series Game of Thrones starting with season two. The hook is that Joanna has read all of the books in the series, and Dave has not. It’s great for book readers and TV show watchers alike; over the fall they went back and did podcasts for each episode in season one as a book read-along.

Fighting in the War Room is new to me, although it’s aired over 100 episodes. It explores pop culture (films and TV mostly, along with some comic book discussions). I tend to read the descriptions before I listen, but the format allows for some really entertaining film reviews and engrossing discussions.

I’ve been listening to Serial this season, although I have a hard time really getting excited for it. However, I found season one to be very fascinating, which led me to the Undisclosed podcast. Undisclosed spent its first season diving much deeper into the case from Serial season one; future seasons will focus on different possible miscarriages of justice.

When all of them are up and running, that’s about 15 hours of quality listening each week. More than enough to get you through the bus to work, or some time on the elliptical at the gym. Let me know if you end up checking any of them out.

*Updated February 28, 2017: Yesterday Ms. Kilkenny shared that she had recently learned of Mr. Kilstein being emotionally abusive and manipulative to multiple women. He has left the Citizen Radio team; hopefully the podcast will continue without him.