Five Stars

Best for:
People who like to travel to their run, or who are looking for some inspiration.

In a nutshell:
One hundred runs and trails of varying lengths, spread across every continent (yes, even that one).

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
It was a birthday gift.

Review:
I’ve been running for about 15 years now. In those years I’ve run 15 half marathons, and some of the best have been ones I’ve traveled for. There was one in the Black Country near Birmingham, England. That one was run along the canals, and you were released in sets of 2-4 people every few minutes. There was basically no one else around, and the water stations were kind people who live on canal boats and set up little tables along the trail.

Another one was the Paris half marathon. I was in grad school and a friend and I went together. It was HUGE – like 30,000 runners. And it was super cool to run through the streets of Paris, all shut down. That was also the race where they had chips you had to return, and the place where they had folks cutting them off was WAY too close to the finish line, so after about 2 hours there was a huge back-up of people trying to cross. Whoops.

Basically, traveling to run is a cool way to see another city or country. Ideally I time it correctly and arrive a couple of days before the run, enjoy a little job the day before, run the race, then have some time after to really enjoy and explore the place.

The book is gorgeous on its own, full of color photos of the race locations. It is laid out in six sections (one for each continental area, with the Antarctica race included with South America). Each race section includes a sparkline of the elevation, the distance, elevation, and terrain. There’s a narrative about the race, and details of how and when to sign up.

Many of the races in the book are longer than I’m happy running – I may be done with half marathons, and I’m definitely not about to train for a marathon or an ultra marathon (meanwhile my running coach is currently training for like a 90km race in the alps and I’m just like … sure). But there are some races that have a 10k associated with them, so I’m looking at those. It’s fun to make plans, even if I don’t make it to a lot of them. Always fun to set some goals.

What’s next for this book:
Keeping it and using it to plan some trips!

Four Stars

Best for:
I mean, as it says on the tin, right? Also maybe if you’re considering becoming a parent? Might be good to consider checking it out.

In a nutshell:
Author Gibson explores the different types of emotionally immature parents, the impact that can have on their children as children and as adults, and offers ways of continuing on in relationship with such parents without further harming oneself.

Worth quoting:
“Emotionally immature parents can do a good job of taking care of their children’s physical and material needs. In a world of food, shelter, and education, these parents may be able to provide everything that’s needed. In terms of things that are physical, tangible, or activity related, many of these parents make sure their children get every advantage they can afford. But when it comes to emotional matters, they can be oblivious to their children’s needs.”

“Emotionally immature people, on the other hand, often take pride in their lack of [emotional work]. They rationalize their impulsive and insensitive responses with excuses like ‘I’m just saying what I think’ or ‘I can’t change who I am.’”

Why I chose it:
Well, I am an adult child. Am I an adult child of one or more emotionally immature parents? My therapist would probably say yes…

Review:
I can’t really review this in as much detail as I would like without revealing more about myself than I feel comfortable doing. But what I will say is that after spending some time in therapy last year, the concept of emotionally immature parents came onto my radar. I’m not going to specify which parents this might apply to; I will, however, share that I found this book to be full of highly relevant information that helped me to both better understand myself and help me sort out new approaches to interacting with the parents in the future.

The book is laid out quite well, with clearly defined and contained chapters. Gibson starts by exploring the impact of emotional immature parents on their adult children’s lives, then jumps into helping the reader sort out what an emotionally immature parent it. There’s a checklist / quiz here that I found helpful and eye-opening.

Gibson theorizes that there are four types of emotionally immature parents, and explores how they differ. There are three chapters in the middle that I found a bit less helpful than the others, partially because I think I already explored the ideas there in other ways, but these sections are probably quite helpful to most folks: they’re about different ways us as adult children react to being raised by emotionally immature parents. The final chapters are full of tips and tools for managing the relationship with an emotionally immature parent, which is really what I was in it for, and what I am looking forward to trying out in the future.

I think a lot of folks in my generation (Xennial) and younger are taking the time to explore and improve their emotional lives, and part of that work involves looking at their relationships, including with their parents. While this book might not be what my peers would reach for initially (it’s not marketed in a clever pop non-fiction way), I do think it’s worth checking out.

What’s next for this book:
On my shelf and to be referred to regularly I’d imagine.

4 Stars

Best for:
Anyone interested in the world of romance fraud, as well as anyone who likes a lot of humour in their non-fiction books. Oooh, also anyone who gets some satisfaction out of people who dick around with said fraudsters.

In a nutshell:
Author Holmes gets a lot of clearly fake requests on social media, and so decides to play along, wasting the time of fraudsters while also investigating what makes them tick – and how anyone can be victimized by them.

Worth quoting:
“It always annoys me when people just write off the victims of romance fraud as being stupid. I’ve interviewed between thirty and forty victims, and not a single one was stupid…”

“…what I also find interesting is the difference in language used when talking about male and female victims of scamming … the blame shifts and seems to land squarely on the woman, whether she is the scammed or the scammer.”

“We need to stop referring to people as ‘falling for’ a scam. We don’t say someone ‘fell for a burglary’ or ‘fell for an assault.’ Romance fraud is not something that people ‘fall for’; it is something that happens to them.”

Why I chose it:
I mean it’s a great title. I too was once messaged by Keanu Reeves on Instagram. Sadly, nothing came of it.

Review:
What an interesting and – despite the serious subject matter – funny book.

Author Holmes decides to join various social media platforms, and, like many women, is immediately bombarded with messages from men of … dubious origin. But instead of blocking and ignoring, she decides to engage with them, wasting their time (and hopefully tying up at least some of the time they could be using to scam others) in all manner of ridiculous texts and photo exchanges.

The book definitely includes discussion about people pretending to be celebrities as the title suggests, but thats just the focus of one chapter. It’s a much broader look at online romance fraud, and Holmes does a great job making the subject accessible and really digging deep into how it can happen, but sharing stories of people who have been scammed. She also explores some of the biggest groups of scammers – spending a lot of time on Yahoo Boys, which was a group I’d never heard of, and which I was concerned might be a bit sensationalized as they are located in Nigeria (and lots of people have some racist assumptions about Nigerians and scams), but they are indeed a real thing.

Much of the book includes excerpts of Holmes’s interactions with scammers, which are both hilarious to read and also deeply disturbing, as one can see how these scammers really try to ingratiate themselves into the lives of the people who they fleece. It’s distressing and it really sucks for those who are victimized by them.

One area Holmes really focuses on – and which I call out in the quote I share above – is how judgmental people are when it comes to romance fraud. Frankly I hate that for people – much like I hate pranks. I realize they come from very different places, but in the end the joke (or crime) is ‘ha ha, you believe in people, you idiot.’ Of course it is easy to see red flags in hindsight, or when one is in a totally calm, stable, non-traumatic point in their life. But people aren’t always in the perfect place – sometimes people are sad, or lonely, or have just come out of an abusive relationships. And it sucks that people are not only harmed by the people stealing their money and tricking them into thinking they are in love, but also by their friends, family, and society with their judgment.

She also spends time looking at how little support there is for the victims of this fraud. There is ‘Action Fraud,’ which is where the police refer people in the UK (where the author lives), but they sound both under-resourced and ineffective. Police don’t investigate, banks don’t really care, and family members judge. It stinks.

Overall, I think this is a good book for anyone (including those who thing they are ‘too smart’ to ‘fall for’ any such scams), both because it is well written but also because I learned quite a few things and it helped me remind myself about the need for empathy for people whose main ‘fault’ is trusting others.

What’s next for this book:
Keep, maybe pick up a copy for friends who might find this interesting.