ASK Musings

I haven’t been to work since 19 December. I mean, I haven’t been in the office since before then, but I mostly work from home, so at around 4PM on the 19th I turned off my work computer and managed to only think about it a couple of times. I didn’t travel – I didn’t even take a day trip (mostly thanks to the weather and the holidays).

So what did I do? I read like four books. I watched Christmas movies and baked. Austin and I sorted out some home repairs and admin (like finally taking a bunch of art to a framer so we can put things up on our very bare walls). I talked to friends on the phone, sent texts to group chats. I put all my photos in photo albums, uploaded ones that aren’t printed yet, and started the process of printing them, because I love looking at physical pictures.

I also started an intro to Buddhism course, which I am super excited about. I’ve taken meditation courses before, and read some books, but I’m specifically excited about taking the steps to actually learn about the Buddha and see if this spiritual tradition is one that resonates with me.

I wrote nearly every day, and posted essays that had been sitting in my drafts.

I played games and did puzzles with Austin. I watched TV shows and movies with him. I sat reading next to him while he played video games. I annoyed him with my need to do things before I could relax.

I CUDDLED THE KITTENS SO MUCH.

Every day I got up and stretched, then ran or did the elliptical, and then did my chores. Usually by mid-day I was done with what I wanted to do that day, and would just sit and read, or watch TV, or maybe go on a walk with Austin. Or bake something. It was delightful.

As always though, in the back of my mind was the reminder that at some point I’d have to go back to work, and back to my regularly scheduled life. And don’t get me wrong, I have a sweet life. Like, it’s really cushy. My partner and I ‘own’ our own home (well, like 25% of it), I have a decent job with a good enough salary and great boss and a schedule I set myself. I have friends and meaningful non-work activities. I have reasonably good health, and I’m very active.

But it did get me thinking, as I regularly do, about the decisions that have been made over the centuries that got us to this place. A place where, even with all the positives about my life, I was exhausted and pretty desperate for this time off. A place where so many folks have to work super hard at jobs they hate to be able to afford things that should just be available, like food, and water, and shelter. Even the phrase we commonly use to talk about working is to ‘earn a living,’ as though we need to earn the right to live. It’s fucking wild.

My job isn’t important, and a lot of jobs are not critical, though I do try to shift the perspective because otherwise I think I’d be miserable. Like, yes, some folks spend their days moving numbers around spreadsheets. But maybe that’s the spreadsheet that manages the production budget for a TV show or film that brings people joy. I do a lot of tasks that on their own seem menial, but they do help (very far down stream) students pursue their dreams of gaining knowledge or becoming doctors. That’s kind of cool.

And of course, behind all of this, was the turning of the calendar, and the assessment of where I am in life in general and what I value and want to focus on. I think there’s more work I need to do there, but this little break has shown me that I want more of this kind of time and space, I want more travel, and I want to find ways to help more people to be able to have what THEY want out of life.

Also more kitten cuddles.