ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

Monthly Archive: May 2025

Wednesday

28

May 2025

0

COMMENTS

The Mini Rough Guide to Athens

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Four Stars

Best for:
People looking for some very basic info to kick-start their holiday planning.

In a nutshell:
Small basic book with information on Athens and surrounding areas.

Worth quoting:
N/A

Why I chose it:
I’m going to Greece later this year.

Review:
I’m lucky enough to be able to take a trip later this year, to a country I’ve never been to before. Most of what I know about Greece is from US pop culture, with a sprinkling of knowledge based on what I learned in my philosophy degree. It looks gorgeous, but it’s also huge. Trying to figure out where to visit in a country made up of so many islands and towns is a challenge, and rightfully the guide books about Greece are all huge. I had no idea where to start.

Because we know that no matter what we want to spend time in Athens, this book was a perfect starting point for us to get our heads around the many things there are to see and do in that city. I think most mini rough guides are set up the same way – it includes a brief overview of the area and a history, then a few pages on different arts of town. Then there is information on entertainment, sports, shopping, and kids, followed by longer sections on food and drink, travel essentials, and where to stay.

Obviously I’m going to do more research and look things up online, talk to folks who have visited, and think through the things that I’m most interested in any trip to a country I’ve never visited, but this book is a very handy, basic starting point.

Saturday

17

May 2025

0

COMMENTS

Perimenopause Power by Maisie Hill

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Best for:
Young Gen X-ers and Elder Millenials.

In a nutshell:
People with a uterus will at some point stop getting periods, their hormones will shift, and some things will be a bit different. This book seeks to provide some suggestions, advice, and an overview of the research to help make this time (which can last many years) and beyond a bit more comfortable.

Worth quoting:
“Observe the sentences you say in your head and out loud, and be on the lookout for works such as ‘always,’ never’ and ‘everything,’ because they’re often a sign that you’re throwing around inaccurate generalisations that make a situation more extreme than it actually is.”

Why I chose it:
I am a Xennial woman. So … yeah.

Also, I read Hill’s book Period Power and found it to have some useful information.

Review:
This is a detailed book that appears to be very well researched, and I appreciate that. Until recently there seems to have been a dearth of information available for folks who get periods about that bit of their life (roughly 40ish years), and possibly even less on what happens when folks are no longer getting their periods. I recall ‘The Change’ being mentioned in a couple of films (Father of the Bride II stands out to me), and hot flashes / hot flushes mentioned as the primary symptom. But there’s so much more. Hurrah!

Like Hill’s previous book, there’s a lot of good stuff here, but also a lot that either isn’t relevant or is a bit too … woo-ey for me. The chapter on hormone therapy was useful, and one I’ll probably revisit. But equally interesting were her other suggestions for ways to protect against some of the possible negative issues associated with perimenopause and menopause, like loss of bone density, and sleep issues.

Overall I think we need more books like this that address something that half of folks will experience. I’ll hold onto this so I can refer back to it as necessary, and I’m glad I read it, but I’ll probably seek out other books on the topic so I can have more than one opinion on some of these issues.

Tuesday

6

May 2025

0

COMMENTS

Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Four Stars

Best for:
Anyone who is still wavering on giving up Facebook and Instagram (and Threads, though does anyone use that?).

In a nutshell:
Corporations with this much power SUCK.

Worth quoting:
“It’s so ugly. What a thing to be responsible for.” Said in reference to Facebook helping elect Trump in 2016, but I think is a great statement describing the whole of Meta.

Why I chose it:
My sister-in-law mentioned she was reading it and it was interesting so I thought I’d check it out,

Review:
Oh Facebook. I hate how so many organizations use it for things that should be accessible elsewhere – using it as a poor substitute for an actual website. I hate that a few times I’ve had to create an account to access information, though I am happy that I was able to completely delete both Facebook and Instagram last year, and I’m not going back. Because I lived in Seattle, I’ve known a few people who have worked for Facebook, or one of their related apps. And I’ve never heard anything positive about the work environment. This things shared in this book, however, are another level.

Wynn-Williams pursued a job at Facebook. She had experience in diplomacy, and saw before most others how much Facebook would become intertwined with governments and policies. After a few tries, she was finally hired, and eventually led the Latin America and Asia (minus China) teams. She left in 2017, after being fired for ‘under performance and toxicity,’ which in the reality of this book, just means she reported her boss for sexual harassment and he retaliated by blocking her hires and undermining her work.

I think it’s been known for awhile that Marc Zuckerberg is a deeply problematic person, and Facebook is a deeply problematic company. He is rude to people who he doesn’t think can do anything for him, he’s amassed more wealth than any human should have, and it all started because he ripped off a website that rated women’s looks. That’s creepy, gross behavior, and now he gets to transfer that to whatever strikes his fancy (including exploring a run for president a few years ago). He’s shoved himself onto the world stage, and because of the power of unregulated social media that he controls, people pay attention to him.

And that kind of personality and power attracts similar people – ones who live to work, and who crave the power and control that comes with C-suite positions in multi-national corporations. In Wynn-Williams’s telling, it isn’t limited to Zuckerberg. Sheryl Sandberg, who wrote that pinnacle of white feminism “Lean In,” where she treats systemic issues as things to be sorted out by individuals, coming close to blaming the victims. During that book launch, for example, it is the women employees of Facebook who are tasked with supporting the book’s publicity. Not the men. Wynn-Williams also makes some accusations of Sandberg acting deeplyl inappropriate on a private jet flight. In general Sandberg comes across very poorly in this book.

There’s so much Wynn-Williams covers – not just about the awful policy choices Zuckerburg and company make (including Facebook’s complicity in the violence in Myanmar), but about the working environment. Sexual harassment that Wynn-Williams experienced, and received retaliation for reporting. The fact that she received a negative performance review the day she returned to work from maternity leave for not being reachable on maternity leave WHILE SHE WAS IN A COMA. That’s not a joke. The utter lack of care for the lives of the staff and contractors in endemic throughout the company – including a story about a woman literally seizing on the floor and staff just carrying on working and not helping her, and others having their safety put at risk in dangerous cities (including a staffer who was arrested because the country’s government said Facebook was not complying with the law).

It sounds like hell, and it is so gross that a company that is deeply embedded into society has such horrible practices. But I think one important take-away that is not really mentioned by Wynn-Williams is that this is not unique to Facebook. Large corporations generally treat their employees like crap. Senior leadership in these vast corporations are completely out of touch, and devote all of their life to a job, a job that is actively making the world a worse place. They don’t have hobbies, they don’t spend time with their families. They work, and they amass power and money, and they treat anyone who doesn’t also have power and money like they don’t matter. They look the other way when staff are being harassed, blaming or straight up disbelieving the victims. They say things publicly that they don’t back up in practice, and they put out statements defaming and gaslighting individuals when they share their stories (as, predictably, Meta did when this book was released).

I’d love it if everyone who could stopped using Meta’s products. But I also know that there are loads of other ethically questionable companies whose products we use, and who just keep on acting like corporate asshats because there is money to be made and power to amass. I’m not sure what the solution is, but I appreciate Wynn-Williams shedding light on the shit that this particular company has spread.

Saturday

3

May 2025

0

COMMENTS

Assholes Number Sixty and Sixty-One: The FA and the SFA

Written by , Posted in Assholes, Feminism, Politics

At my old blog, I had a special category called the Asshole Hall of Fame. It was mostly reserved public figures that did something fucking absurd to bring them to asshole status. It gave me the opportunity to have a bit of a rant about something so out of pocket that I couldn’t limit myself to just a couple of posts on Twitter (RIP). When I shut that page down, I moved some things over here, including the Asshole Hall of Fame. Today, I’m inducting another member, and I’m pretty fucking pissed about it.

You might be familiar with the recent utterly ridiculous UK Supreme Court ruling attempting to define what a woman is by excluding trans women. That ruling is straight up misogynistic, and wrong for many reasons. Others more well-versed in the law can speak to that, such as the Good Law Project. A little over a week after the ruling, the absurdly named (given their current actions) Equality & Human Rights Commission (EHRC) put out bigoted guidance that again, others – specifically members of the trans community – can speak to better than I.

I could talk about how silly and cruel it is to exclude trans women from the toilets that cis women use. I have, after all, used the women’s toilets many times over the years, as someone who pretty much always needs a wee. I’ve used the standard women’s room with cubicles. I’ve used single-person gender neutral toilets. And I’ve used cubicles in spaces where everyone uses a cubicle to do their business, and we all share the same sink to wash our hands. Cis women, cis men, trans women, trans men, non-binary people. It was fine, it was safe, it was (usually) clean. CIS WOMEN ARE NOT IN DANGER FROM TRANS WOMEN USING THE SAME TOILETS.

But what I’m here to talk about instead is the bigoted, unnecessary, absurd decision that the FA and the SFA (that is, the governing boards of football in England and Scotland) have made to bar trans women from playing. This is not needed, it’s not helpful, it is cruel, and it is a fucking embarrassment to the sport.

I have played football (known as soccer in my country of birth) since I was a very tiny girl. I played throughout primary and secondary school, picked up games here and there in my 20s, played in a mixed gender league in my 30s, and have played in three clubs since moving to the UK. In my last club in England, I played in a league where some teams had trans women players. I refereed a match featuring a team of trans and non-binary players. I’ve written about my love of football before. What I’m saying is, I know my football, and specifically, I know my women’s football.

Here’s the thing. Much like as is the case with the toilets issue, trans women pose absolutely no threat to cis women playing amateur football. Zero. None. Considering that according to the FA itself there are around 20 trans players in the entirety of the amateur leagues, this is just bigotry for the sake of publicity. To state what should be obvious, there’s literally no evidence that playing against trans women puts cis women at any higher risk than them playing against another cis woman. And it’s not like trans women are taking the places of cis women in these leagues. The population of trans women in the UK is tiny, and the subset who want to play competitive amateur football is of course small enough to be statistically insignificant.

But these women themselves are not insignificant. They want to play. And they have the right to play in women’s leagues BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMEN. The fact that there is no law requiring the FA to take this action (the EHRC guidance is non-binding) and yet they still chose to do so is quite telling. They chose to do the wrong thing to appear to be doing the ‘right’ thing for (cis) women. Let’s be clear – the FA does not care about women in football. I mean, they banned women from playing it for 50 years, so I guess this isn’t a huge shock, but it is pretty disappointing for an organization that rebranded itself as ‘FA: For All’ to add an asterisk to that so they can exclude trans women.

If the FA and SFA really cared about women in football, maybe they’d do things like fight for equitable facilities for the men’s and women’s teams. Equitable pay and equitable air time for the professional game. Better referees for the women’s games. There’s not nearly enough being done to study actual injuries that women players face (not some mythical injury cause by playing near a trans woman). And that’s just a start. But that’s not what the FA and SFA are focusing on; they’re focusing on being cruel to the most vulnerable of players.

I want to play football. I love the game. And I think everyone who wants to play it should have the opportunity to play it. Preventing trans women from playing while lying about the risks they pose is bigotry and hatred, pure and simple. There was no need for them to take this action now, and the fact that they chose to do it shows their true colors.

So FA and SFA, let’s be real. What you care about most is publicity and money, and you love the chance to look like you’re doing something when you’re really not doing anything to improve the game. Welcome to the Asshole Hall of Fame. And fuck you.

Note: I am a qualified football referee, so if there are any folks out there setting up or running trans-inclusive leagues and you need a ref, please get in touch because I’d be happy to ref matches for you.