Rating:
3.5 Stars

In a nutshell:
What is the cost – and what (if any) are the benefits – of sharing one’s children online?

Best for:
Those interested in the impact of sharing the lives of children on social media.

Quote that made me think:
“There is no child advocate, only the parents.”

Why I chose it:
I for some reason am finding social media quite interesting these days. Possibly because I’m not using it nearly as much as I used to

Review:
I am not a parent, I never will be a parent, and I am way too old for any of my childhood to have been chronicled online. So in theory, this book wouldn’t be of interest to me. But I live in society, and I see how the generations younger than me make use of social media. In some ways, it’s amazing – spreading the call out for activist mobilization, sharing funny videos to entertain folks in tough times. But it also can clearly be a force that harms people. And one of those ways may be in how children are featured by their families (usually mothers) in social media.

Author Latifi is a mother herself, and pitched this book while pregnant, finishing it less than a year post-partum. So she has the perspective not just of a journalist but of a mother. She’s very clear that some of the very social media posts that folks might find questionable because they feature children and babies were helpful for her in some of her most challenging times. And that’s the main dichotomy this book explores – Does the value (some of) these posts provides – in terms of building community, helping mothers not feel alone, sharing stories that might help others – outweigh the harm that can be caused to the children featured in them, especially when children don’t have the capacity to consent.

Latifi explores the history of family vlogging, starting with ‘mommy blogging’ – stories women would share via blog posts that might or might not feature photos of their children. There was a level of community and support that could help mothers who might not have their own community, or who might be experiencing specific things that other mothers online were experiencing. Over time, as social media evolved to feature photos and videos (short- and long-form), ‘mommy vlogers’ and ‘family vlogers’ became staples. By default these would feature children, some as young as freshly born, and some nearly old enough to have their own social media profiles.

We’ve seen what happens when this goes wrong – the Rube Franke case showed that some parents put their children through hell. And there is an underlying connection to things like religious evangelicalism and the ‘tradwife’ movement. But there are also children who seem to enjoy this life. And, as Latifi points out, social media work is one that can offer the type of flexibility (and monetary reward) that few jobs allow working parents. Where she and I differ I think is in her conclusion that while she never would put her kids in that situations, questioning it seem almost misogynistic? I suppose because it is a way of work that is primarily filled by women. But just because it is a choice a woman can make doesn’t make it feminist.

After reading this book, I do appreciate the benefit some of these social media accounts provide to others, essentially recreating a bit of a parasocial ‘village’ support mothers. But I don’t think there is enough done to protect the children whose lives are broadcast online. Latifi explores attempts to have some accountability, but laws are sparse and complicated. And while parents do make a lot of other choices for their children that are essentially irreversible, the internet is public, and it is forever, and to me that makes the choices even more critical.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
I don’t fully agree with the author’s conclusions, but I think the discussion was important.

Rating:
3.5 Stars

In a nutshell:
19-year-old Nick has gone missing. We eventually learn he has died from a fall – or jump? – from a building along the Thames in London. His death reveals he has been lying about who he is, pretending to be the son of a Russian oligarch.

Best for:
Fans of investigative reporting.

Quote that made me think:
N/A

Why I chose it:
Say Nothing and Empire of Pain are two of the best non-fiction books I’ve ever read. As soon as I saw this I knew I had to read it.

Review:
The book starts with a description of two buildings in London: a government building on the south side of the Thames, and the Riverwalk condos on the north side. We learn quickly that Nick has died from a fall from the Riverwalk building, though his family doesn’t learn of this for a few days, when his body is discovered just next to the embankment. Cameras on the government building showed that Nick jumped from the building and was not pushed – though it doesn’t show if something led him to think that was his only option. (As an aside – while listening to the audio book I was in London and ran past both buildings a couple of times. That’s always a bit weird.)

Before his parents learn about Nick’s death and only know he is missing, they discover he has been lying to people for a few years, saying that his dad Matthew is dead and his mom Rochelle lives overseas. He says he knows the owner of Chelsea Football Club, and ingratiates himself with some folks who may or may not be involved in criminal activities.

From there, so many doors open, leading to so many different stories. In the center of it all is the Metropolitan Police, who don’t seem to take the investigation as seriously as the parents want. So they engage an investigator to look into the backgrounds of two individuals who claimed to have been fully fooled by Nick’s stories.

There are other interweaving stories, including the interesting background of Nick’s grandfather, but in the end, like so much in life, we don’t really learn what happened. It’s someone’s life, so I’m not going to say its ‘unsatisfying,’ but it is a bit frustrating. Like real life, I suppose. I feel for Nick, because he clearly had some issues to make up such severe lies, and then at the end of his life in one way or another felt he had no choice but to jump from that balcony. And I feel for his parents, because they’re left with so many questions.

Would I recommend it to its target audience:
I guess. I didn’t find it as engaging as his previous work, but it was still clearly very well researched and written.