ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

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Tuesday

25

August 2009

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COMMENTS

Monday Night Frustration

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A couple of days ago I noticed a charge in my checking account from Pay Pal. While I don’t currently have an account with them I know a lot of businesses use them to collect online payments, so it is certainly possible that I would encounter them while purchasing from a small business online. Unfortunately I have no record of this Pay Pal charge. I searched my gmail for Pay Pal, for the electronic check company they use and for the amount charged. I looked back at an old vitamin order that shipped in parts to see if that company was were charging me for the second shipment. But nope. Nothing.

I called Citibank to see how to get an investigation into this. Now, it may be an entirely legitimate purchase; it happened the first couple of weeks in August, when I was running around trying to get everything in place for my move. But the only way for me to find out is to have information on who put through the request through Pay Pal.

George (the Citibank representative) was, I think, trying to be helpful. However, I’ve not experience such condescension from someone allegedly trying to help me since the police officer who took my statement after my bag was stolen my second year of college. George had the same tone that implied he felt he was trying to explain to a five year old that the Earth is round.

He had his list of questions, all of which were yes or no. Unfortunately, my situation didn’t lend itself to yes or no answers. It got so frustrating that at one point I asked if my call was annoying him because the condesenscion reached amazing levels. That seemed to upset him, possibly since the calls are recorded. Anyway, the conclusion George came to (via Citibank’s crack Q & A) is that since made at least one purchase via Pay Pal at some point in the distant past, this current charge is probably correct, and Citibank can provide no further assistance without stopping payment (which causes both a fee to be charged to me AND cannot be guaranteed).

After telling me to contact the vendor (difficult, since the whole point is that I don’t know on whose behalf Pay Pal was charing me) George gave me a trace number and I hung up before I said anything inappropriate, although I wasn’t as friendly as I could have been. I know it’s not George’s fault that his bank’s procedure isn’t helpful to me in this instance. I’m sure hearing from someone like me – who can’t be certain that the charge is fraudulent – makes his evening a little more difficult. I just wish George didn’t present himself in such a condescending manner.

I’ve e-mailed Pay Pal and will call them in the morning to try to get some more information. There’s no option from their pre-selected menu for “you charged me and I don’t know what for,” so I’m sure my e-mail will get routed and re-routed among many departments. As I’ve said, this may very well be a legitimate charge that perhaps was delayed a couple of months, but I can’t know until I know who put through the charge.

With that in mind, here is my thought about how this type of situation should be avoided. What if we require that companies who process payments on behalf of others put the actual business / account name on the note as well? If Pay Pal is charging on behalf of Sunshine Cleaning, it should show up on my bank statement as Pay Pal / Sunshine Cleaning. If I’ve never heard of Sunshine Cleaning, I would then know that the charge was likely an error or fraud.

Just another thing to add to my to do list for when I’m queen . . . 

Saturday

22

August 2009

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Odd Facebook Encounter + Inevitable Run-In = Odd Evening

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Now that I’m back visiting home for a month I know that I’ll run into some people. A few classmates from high school have stayed in and around the area, and some are not that far away. It’s always been a bit of a stomach flip for me, going downtown to run errands or grab lunch, because I don’t know who I’ll run into. In general (especially thanks to Facebook) I’m in touch with everyone from my hometown with whom I want to be in touch. They know when I’m visiting, so we will make plans to meet up.

Everyone else? Yeah, I’m generally not hoping to run into them. Not because they weren’t nice people, or because of anything having to do with them specifically, but because I don’t particularly enjoy small talk. Sure, sometimes I’ll run into someone that I’d lost touch with and am genuinely interested in how life is going with them, but usually not so much. You have between one and three children? Great! Your husband works in sales? Super. Seriously. That’s great. But I don’t really care.

Tonight on the way to pick up dinner I ran into a married couple from my high school. While we aren’t still in touch, I saw them at the reunion last fall and enjoyed talking to them. They’re nice, doing some interesting things, and I don’t find it awkward to talk to them. So that’s good – my first inevitable run-in and it wasn’t painful.

Then I came home to a Facebook message from a woman who is apparently the fiance of a guy I dated when I was 17. He doesn’t have a Facebook account but is trying to track down my college boyfriend – who he used to know – and is doing it via my account. We lost touch when we stopped dating. So that’s a dozen years that have gone by where I have thought of him maybe a handful of times. It’s so strange to me, the double-edged sword that is social networking. Yes, I’ve gotten back in touch with some great people. But me being out there means that people with whom I’ve lost touch (and don’t mind one bit) can contact me.

And that leads to another issue. With an in-person encounter I can at least smile and nod and not be a jerk if I run into someone unexpectedly. It might even be a pleasent experience. But receiving random e-mails and friend requests – especially ones to which I’d just as soon not respond – is somewhat invasive. I don’t want to be rude to anyone, in person or online, but I also haven’t figured out how to nicely “ignore” my cousin or former coworker friend requests, or simply not reply to an e-mail.

Monday

17

August 2009

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COMMENTS

Favorite Things – NYC Edition

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Since I’m about to leave NYC, I thought I’d take a minute to get down in print some of my best times in the City. I suppose I could have gotten all introspective and such, but this is more fun.

So, here are my favorites from the past seven years:

Education
Post-class ritual: Beer and a Baked Potato at Swift with Perry and Allegra
Test-taking moment: Finance midterm moments after a huge fight with a guy
Offensive speaker: The sexist graduation speaker who seemed to only think women are involved in public service
Saying by a classmate: “Sucks to be poor.” Close second: “The only way people will pay attention to recycling is if a big pile of recycleables falls on and crushes an old woman to death.”

Living Arrangements
Apartment: Park Slope studio 
Bitchy roommate moment: Lauren not letting Jamie and Dan stay in our shared studio while I was in class even though it was pouring outside.
Mentally unstable roommate moment: Terence accusing me of stealing his liquor and withholding $50 from my security deposit for a broken salad plate
Sane, normal, fun rommate: Michelle

Cultural
Theater-going experience: Seeing Hair in Central Park with Eric
Unintentionally hilarious theater-going experience: Pirate Queen
Museum exhibition: Buckminster Fuller at the Whitney
Concert (large scale): U2 at Madison Square Garden
Concert (small scale): 10-piece band – including saw – at the Museum of Modern Art
Political moment: Cheering with Jonathan, Herman and Kathleen when Obama was declared the winer

Outdoors
Coney Island moment: Crossing the finish line on the boardwalk after completing the Brooklyn half-marathon
Traditional beach moment: Summer Friday with Kathleen
Not-so-tradtional beach moment: Stuck at Jones Beach with John and Allegra for four hours trying to get home after the Blue Angels air show
Central Park moment: My first week of school, laying in Sheep’s meadow, studying and realizing I’d made it to NYC for real

Work
Surreal day: Leading families into the ‘pit’ at the WTC site on the first anniversary of September 11
Unintentional humor: Instinctively crouching a bit when having my picture taken with the Mayor to make the height disparity less obvious (which lead to his comment that I’d go far in politics)
Job: The one I just left
Hardest, but ultimately right, decision: Not taking the job offered to me in Seattle last year
Moment that choked me up a little: Seeing how much effort Jonathan and Paula put into my good-bye party

Holidays
Beach vacation: Puerto Rico with Allegra
Regular escape: Seattle
Annual visit: Stephanie coming to NYC every single year I lived here
Wedding in a place I’d never been: Kate and Richard in St. Louis
Tradition: Orphans Thanksgiving with Herman, Kathleen, Megan, Aaron and whomever else is in town

You’ve been good to me, New York. Thanks.

Friday

14

August 2009

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Right to die

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By Arthur Brice
CNN

(CNN) — An Australian high court ruled Friday that a quadriplegic man has the right to refuse food and water and can be allowed to die, a rare legal finding that some see as a major victory for right-to-die campaigners.

Euthanasia campaigner Philip Nitschke said Rossiter's case is significant because his mind is fully functional.

Euthanasia campaigner Philip Nitschke said Rossiter’s case is significant because his mind is fully functional.

The ruling means that the nursing facility in which Christian Rossiter has lived since November 2008 cannot be held criminally liable for allowing the patient to die, the Supreme Court of Western Australia said.

“I’m happy that I won my right to die,” Rossiter, 49, said afterward. But he added that he will further consult with a doctor because he may change his mind.

A leading Australian right-to-die advocate called the ruling a significant victory.

“I don’t know that many people will want to die this way. But for people who do, it’s a very important decision,” said Dr. Philip Nitschke, founder and director of Exit International, a leading global voluntary euthanasia and end-of-life advocacy group.

Nitschke noted that Rossiter’s case is significant because his mind is fully functional.

“This is the first time that it’s come up with a person that’s rational and lucid,” Nitschke told CNN. “This is unusual. It’s very rare.”

Chief Justice Wayne Martin noted that distinction in his order, saying, “Mr. Rossiter is not a child, nor is he terminally ill, nor dying. He is not in a vegetative state, nor does he lack the capacity to communicate his wishes. There is therefore no question of other persons making decisions on his behalf.

“Rather, this is a case in which a person with full mental capacity and the ability to communicate his wishes has indicated that he wishes to direct those who have assumed responsibility for his care to discontinue the provision of treatment which maintains his existence.”

Some family and right-to-life groups opposed Rossiter’s request.

“Really, what we should be doing is looking after each other rather than facilitating an escape,” John Barich of the Australian Family Association said in a TV interview.

Peter O’Meara, president of Western Australia’s Right to Life Association, said, “The law which is being applied can be a dangerous precedent.”

Rossiter has suffered a series of injuries since 1988 that have left him with limited foot movement and the ability to wriggle only one finger. He is fed through a stomach tube. He relies on staff at the Brightwater Care Group nursing facility in the city of Perth for such routine care as regular turning, cleaning, assistance with bowel movements, physical and occupational therapy and speech pathology.

Australian law gives patients the right to refuse life-saving treatment, but helping someone commit suicide is a crime that can carry a life prison sentence. The Brightwater nursing facility sought the ruling to make sure it would not be held liable if it complied with Rossiter’s request to stop all nutrition and hydration, except to be given enough liquid to make it possible to take pain medication.

Rossiter attended the hearing in a wheelchair, breathing through a tracheotomy tube in his throat. He told the judge he wants to die.

It’s a point he has been making publicly.

“I can’t move,” Rossiter said in a televised interview this week. “I can’t even wipe the tears from my eyes. And I’d like to die. I’m imprisoned in my own body. I have no fear of death. Just pain.”

Rossiter pointed out in a recent interview with the PerthNow news outlet that he once led an active life.

“This is living hell,” he is quoted as saying. “I used to be a cyclist, I used to be a keen walker. I bushwalked around the world. … I’ve rock climbed in Yosemite Valley in California up very steep cliffs. I’ve got a degree in economics and now I can’t even read a newspaper, I can’t turn the pages.”

Rossiter joined the Exit International right-to-death organization about three months ago, said Nitschke, who talked with him before the hearing.

Nitschke said Rossiter appeared “very happy” afterward.

A Brightwater executive said the company appreciates that the court’s ruling has relieved the nursing facility of any liability.

“The whole organization has been most concerned for Mr. Rossiter but also concerned for our own legal standing and this has clarified things greatly,” said Penny Flett, the company’s chief executive.

While hailing the victory, Nitschke decried the fact that Rossiter will have to undergo a slow and painful death through starvation, rather than having a quicker and painless way to end his life. Because he cannot use his hands, Rossiter must rely on others to withhold treatment rather than being able to take his own life. Switzerland has an assisted suicide law, and Rossiter has considered going there.

“It’s a bit sad that the best that Australia can come up with,” Nitschke said, “is that we can let a person like that starve to death.”

Interesting story out of Australia.

Monday

10

August 2009

0

COMMENTS

GOOP

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This was almost a Facebook update, but that seemed the wrong venue.
 
Have you heard of goop.com? It is Gwyneth Paltrow’s website/newsletter. She shares her helpful tips to help the rest of us mortalsl Huzzah!
 
Please check out her sitel
 
And then grab the September Vanity Fair, turn to page 260 and enjoy.

Wednesday

5

August 2009

0

COMMENTS

Last Day at Work

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Today was my last day at the job I’ve had for the past four years. My best friends in New York work there. I get to – got to – see and hang out with my best friends every single day. That’s a pretty sweet deal.

Around 3:30 I turned in all of my gear (no more blackberry! No more shield!), completed the exit paperwork and sent out my last e-mail.

Paula and Jonathan threw me a send-off that was beyond thoughtful. It was at a local bar, and we had our own room – and own bartender. Paula put together a playlist full of U2 and the Beatles, and ensured that the bar had drinks I like. She and Jonathan pulled together two huge (2 1/2 foot square I think)  posters – one covered with pictures of me with my friends, and one covered with “Things that are British” (Monty Python, the Beatles, etc.) and “Things that are not” (Bono, Northern Ireland, etc.). My coworkers signed them with really kind notes. Also strewn about the table was a bouquet of lovely wildflowers, two boxes of jaffa cakes (yum!) a few union jacks, and a bottle of Lucozade to help with the recovery tomorrow.

Paula, Jonathan, my boss and the big boss all said really sweet things. It was so overwhelming – virtually everyone I’ve enjoyed working with there (and some former coworkers) turned out. They got me a gift card to Harrods (!), and my boss gave me a great travel bag with a guide to London and a solar charger for my phone. It was so lovely, and the sap in me usually would be bawling. But I did manage to hold it together.

Until.

Two bag pipers from the FD Pipe and Drum corps came in playing. It was crazy. I’m not sure what the first song was, but when they started playing Auld Lang Syne I about keeled over. It was funny and sweet and thoughtful and just . . . insane.

I can’t believe that tomorrow I won’t go to work with these wonderful people. I’ll be leaving NYC in two weeks. It’s a lot to take in, and I’m so very excited to move to London. But wow. I’m going to miss these folks a ton. Some people leave jobs and say good-bye without planning to keep in touch – I leave without a doubt in my mind that I will count these people among my very best friends no matter where I end up. 

Saturday

11

July 2009

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COMMENTS

Tuesday

30

June 2009

0

COMMENTS

Albany Hilarity

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For those of you in NYC, or who happen to enjoy following the daily workings of a completely disfunctional government, you may be aware that the New York State senate is in disarray. Way back on June 8 two senators switched from the Democratic caucus to the Republican one, and elected a new Senate President. The Democrats claim it wasn’t a proper vote and so doesn’t count; since then one of the original defectors has gone back to the Democratic side, leaving a 31-31 split.

One point of contention is the person they “elected” as the new Senate President is a total creep. He’s under investigation for not living in his district, he may have benefitted from illegal payments to a not-for-profit, etc. So the Democrats are refusing to recognize him as the leader (who, thanks to Gov. Spitzer resigning and our Lt. Gov being promoted up to Governor, would become Governor if something happened to Paterson), and every day for the past week or so the Governor has called a special session and either both sides have shown up and conducted their own sessions, or one side comes in at one time and the other at another.

It’s ridiculous. Either side needs just one person to jump ship; then they’ll have quorum and can vote on important things like using stimulus money, retaining mayoral control of NYC school, sales tax increases, and gay marriage.

That’s all prelude. The fun is below. Today, the Democrats believe they reached a quorum. Here’s why:

From the New York Times:

It all started with a can of Coke.

Shortly before noon, as the 31 Democrats were preparing to hold a regular session of the State Senate, Frank Padavan, a Queens Republican, set out to get a soda from the members’ private lounge, off the Senate chamber. Finding the outside hallway blocked by reporters, Mr. Padavan would later say, he took a shortcut across the Senate floor just as the Democrats were preparing to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Because he was present on the floor, Democrats now claim, Mr. Padavan effectively “checked in” for the session, granting Democrats the 32-member quorum needed to conduct business. And with that, they began passing dozens of pieces of legislation, including bills like sales tax extensions and bond authorizations that were set to expire at midnight tonight.

The move has set off a new round of recriminations and debate in the State Capitol, with Democrats insisting the bills have been lawfully passed — and that Gov. David A. Paterson should now sign them — and angry Republicans denouncing the session as fraudulent and inappropriate. The two sides had already met earlier Tuesday for an extraordinary session called by Mr. Paterson, but adjourned without conducting any business.

“The only reason I went through the back of the chamber is because the front of it was blocked by all of you,” Mr. Padavan told reporters afterward. “I think it’s totally fraud, and they know it. It’s childish.”

While Mr. Padavan admitted that he had been in the chamber, he said that he could not be counted as part of the quorum because he had left before the pledge, which typically precedes Senate business. Both sides agreed that Mr. Padavan was not present for any of the actual voting.

Democrats insisted that Mr. Padavan, a 36-year veteran of the Senate, had gone through the chamber on purpose.

“Frank Padavan is a multi-decade veteran of the New York State Senate,” said Craig M. Johnson, a Long Island Democrat. “He knows the rules.”

(In a sworn affadavit distributed later to reporters, Mr. Padavan amended his story in only one respect: He said he had gone to the members’ lounge for a cup of coffee, not a Coke.)

While Democrats voted on the bills, Governor Paterson, holding a separate news conference, said he would not sign any of the bills the Senate passed on Tuesday afternoon, citing the uncertainty about whether Mr. Padavan could be counted toward the quorum.

With Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg appearing with him on a television screen, via satellite, Mr. Paterson implored the Republicans and Democrats to settle their differences and pass an extension of the law that gives the mayor control over the city school system before that law expires at midnight.

“Once again the do-nothing Senate has exceeded our greatest fears and contempt,” Mr. Paterson said. “The Senate again is in turmoil, now about whether people were in or out of the chamber.”

But matters may not be so simple. Most of the legislation that the Democrats claim to have passed in their session was first passed by the Assembly; under state law, the Assembly must now, in effect, accept those bills as legitimate before sending them up to the governor for his signature. Senate Democrats said that Assembly had so far declined to do so.

If the Assembly did accept the bills as legitimate, Mr. Paterson might be forced to either veto or sign them. Because the regular session ended earlier this month, Senate Democrats said, the governor can no longer veto bills simply by refusing to sign them.

With quorum in their eyes established, but no Republicans remaining on the Senate floor to object or demand a debate, Democrats quickly passed dozens of bills by unanimous consent. Because Mr. Padavan had been counted as present, but did not remain in the chamber to cast a nay vote, he was automatically counted as a yes vote.

Most well-debated items, like a bill to reauthorize mayoral control of New York City schools, were not on the list of bills for the session. But Democrats did hold a vote on a bill to increase the New York City sales tax; the bill failed, 19-13, with most Democrats voting against it and no Republicans on the floor to vote for it.

Mr. Paterson has called the Senate back into another extraordinary session for 7 o’clock tonight and said he would continue to call them into session through the Fourth of July holiday, if necessary.

Senate Republicans were irate at the Democrats’ move.

“I think this is a total joke and a disgrace to the institution,” said Dean G. Skelos, the Republican leader.

————

Does it get any better than this?

Monday

29

June 2009

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COMMENTS

Exchange on The Daily Show

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I’m getting caught up on my Daily Show episodes (now that I’m sans cable, I have to watch it online). Anyway, this great exchange.

Over video of the right wing member of the European parliament being shoved into his car, surrounded by fans:

Jon Stewart: 
“In England the far-right British Nationalist party picked up their first two seats ever. Here we almost see their leader, Nick Griffin being mobbed, Beatlemania-style, by adoring fans. Let’s hear what they’re chanting”

Crowd in video:
“Nazi Scum. Nazi Scum”

Jon Stewart:
“Oh I remember that song. That was on the Beatles Really White Album.”

Heh.

Friday

26

June 2009

0

COMMENTS

Obligatory Michael Jackson Post

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Huh. Weird. I was watching the evening news, and they mention he’d been taken to the hospital. Then, CNN sent out a few contradictory “breaking news” e-mails (some intern was fired, I’m sure). Then, confirmation that he was dead.

First off, I think the man had serious mental issues. And I believe it is entirely possible that he molested children. To not acknowledge that would be disingenuous.

I really enjoyed his music. He had a lot of talent. It’s weird when these people die early. Tonight I was having dinner with a old boyfriend, and we were discussing the fact that our first date took place the day Princess Diana died. Tonight was the last time we’ll probably see each other in NYC, and yet another world-famous person has died unexpectedly. Book ends, to a degree.

Is it wrong that one of my early thoughts was “huh, I hope this means Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono and George’s widow can now buy back the Beatle’s catalogue from his estate.” That’s probably not such a cool place for my mind to go. 

It’s sad.

It’s also really sad that Farrah Fawcet died, and today will now be known as the day Michael Jackson died. Although maybe it means her family will be left in peace for awhile. The poor Jackson family – they may be screwed up, but I feel for them both for their loss and because no one’s going to leave them alone for so long. Grief is hard enough; I can’t imagine doing it with cameras and the world watching.