ASK Musings

No matter where you go, there you are.

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Sunday

31

May 2009

0

COMMENTS

Bigotry 2, California’s Reputation 0

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I haven’t commented on the supreme court ruling in California on Proposition 8 yet for a couple of reasons. When it was announced I was out of town at a conference. And the past couple of days I’ve still gottten really upset when I think about the ruling. I’m still pissed, but I think my thoughts are better formulated now.

First, I can’t speak to the validity of the ruling. I don’t know the law as it relates to propositions. But here is what I do know, or at least what I believe: propositions (or initatives, as they’re known in some other states, like Washington) are bad policy. We do not live in a direct democracy – we live in a representative one. And I firmly believe that mixing the two rarely results in good. In Washington, it led to brilliant laws like the $30 license plate tab (resulting in drastically reduced funds for such luxuries as safe roads and public transportation). The biggest problem I have with allowing the general citizenry to vote on sweeping reforms (and basic civil rights) is that they think only about themselves. Now, politicians in general are, I believe, quite selfish, but they also are interested in achieving some balance. They have to look beyond the excitement of saving $200 a year on car licenses, to the millions needed to accommodate those same cars on safe roads. You and I? We don’t necessarily have to look at those things. Ideally we would, but I think it’s obvious that a lot of people don’t.

Second, the fact that a proposition can be used to take away basic human rights? That scares me. A lot. I’m lucky enough to have my sexuality validated by the mainstream society, but that’s just luck of the draw. What other rights could be taken away? Just because a right wasn’t always properly acknowledged (as I believe same-sex marriage has always been a right, but not properly acknowledged) doesn’t mean it isn’t a right just the same.

Finally, as I was flipping through my two channels on Friday, I saw a glimpse of Dr. Phil’s show on the ruling (I know, I know, but bear with me). Gavin Newsome (SF Mayor) equated this fight for equality to the fight by blacks in the 60s. Then a black woman started yelling about how insulting that was, because “I’ve never met an ex black person.” The suggestion with that statement is that black is an innate characteristic and thus those possessing that trait should be protected, but gay is a “choice” and thus not deserving of protection.

There are so many problems with this argument. The first is the suggestion that being gay is a choice. I know I can’t judge, but I am highly suspect of anyone who claims to be “formerly” gay. I think the more appropriate characterization would be these “ex gays” are bisexual and choosing to only date the members of the opposite sex to whom one is attracted, probably to make life a little easier as their family is bigoted. And I don’t remember choosing to be straight. I don’t believe sexuality is a choice; I think the fact that one can choose not to act on the feelings makes it foggier, but it doesn’t mean that the feelings aren’t innate and don’t exist legitimately.

But here’s the thing – let’s say that gay is a choice. Again, I don’t believe that, but let’s pretend for a moment. You know what else is a choice? Religion. Sure, there are some children who are essentially forced into their belief system, and there are some entire religions that are equated with race/ethnicity (Judaism comes to mind), but religion is, at some basic level and at some point in life, a choice. And it’s a very loud, proud choice for some of the very people who seem to hate gays – born again Christians (not all obviously hate gay people, but you know what I am saying). They make a choice to believe in Jesus Christ, and then they decide that we all need to accept that choice and afford them certain rights (like tax-free churches). I definitely think that freedom of religion should be protected, and that the government should not award or deny benefits based on religion. But it’s a choice, and it’s protected, so even if sexuality were a choice, that alone certainly is not a logical reason to deny the rights to gay people that are afforded to all other people of consenting age.

I don’t know where this will all go, or what will happen next, but I can only hope that some day soon my dearest friends will be able to stand in front of a judge or a pastor (should that church choose to ordain the marriage), declare their love, sign some papers, and get the same benefits I would get if I got drunk in vegas and found another equally willing drunk male and did the same thing.

Not cool California. Not cool.

Sunday

24

May 2009

0

COMMENTS

Easy “Risotto”

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I got tired of eating pasta for dinner. So I experimented with this earlier this week, and it was quite tasty, so I’m sharing it with you.

1 boil in bag packet of brown rice (two servings per packet)
1 zucchini or a few stalks of asparagus
1/4 cup low fat sour cream
1/4 cup parmesean cheese
Salt to taste

Boil the bag of rice per the directions and empty into a bowl
While the rice is cooking, wash, chop and steam the veggie
Combine the rice and veggie in a bowl with the sour cream and cheese 
Add salt to taste

It takes about 15-20 minutes from start to finish; less if you microwave the rice.

It’s really, really yummy.

Saturday

23

May 2009

0

COMMENTS

Report: Would-be suicide jumper pushed off bridge – CNN.com

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(CNN) — A passerby pushed a would-be suicide jumper off a bridge in southern China because he was angry at the jumper’s “selfish activity,” Chinese media reported Saturday.

It happened Thursday in the city of Guangzhou as Chen Fuchao threatened to jump off Haizhu Bridge, China’s Xinhua news agency reported.

The bridge has gained a “macabre” reputation with 11 jumpers having thrown themselves off the bridge since the start of April, Xinhua said.

Traffic was held up for nearly five hours and a crowd gathered as Chen sat on the bridge, threatening to jump, Xinhua reported.

Chen wanted to kill himself because he had 2 million yuan ($294,000) in debt after a failed construction project, Xinhua reported.

Lian Jiansheng, 66, who was passing by the bridge, offered to talk Chen down, Xinhua said. Police refused, but Lian broke through the police cordon and climbed to where Chen was sitting.

Lian greeted Chen with a handshake, then pushed him off the bridge, Xinhua said.

Chen fell 26 feet (8 meters) onto a partially-inflated emergency air cushion, damaging his spine and elbow in the fall, Xinhua said. He is now recovering in a hospital.

A photographer documented the sequence of events. The photographs show Lian, dressed in a T-shirt, shorts and socks, saluting to the crowd after pushing Chen off.

“I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interest,” Lian told Xinhua. “They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities’ attention to their appeals.”

Police took Lian away after the incident, Xinhua said. It did not say whether he would face any charges.

Dude. What the hell?

Sunday

17

May 2009

1

COMMENTS

Sarcasm isn’t a universal language

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“That’s the thing most New Yorkers forget when they venture beyond the City limits. Most Americans don’t spend 80% of their waking hours constructing witty comebacks and side remarks. Not everyone acts as if they’re on stage at the improv or trying to outwit Groucho Marx or George Bernanrd Shaw. Most people say what needs to be said and shut up.”

–From “Redemption Street” by Reed Farrel Coleman

I heard this on my run this morning, listening to Thursday’s podcast of Fresh Air. I’ll probably never read the book from which it comes (I’m not a big mystery buff), but this struck me. I think I was a New Yorker, to a degree, before I even came here, because I’ve always been a bit sarcastic. But it’s good to be reminded that while here, and amongst many of my friends, that’s a fun personality trait, it’s not always what others want to experience. I like the idea of trying more often to say what needs to be said and then shutting up. 

Sunday

10

May 2009

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COMMENTS

Saturday

9

May 2009

0

COMMENTS

Saturday

9

May 2009

0

COMMENTS

Overheard at Starbucks (NSFW)

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Dude with multiple tattoos, dressed all in black, probably mid-thirties:

 “I wouldn’t kiss her if you paid me.”

 Bleach-blond chick, also dressed all in black:

 “Yeah?”

 Dude:

 “Well, you just told me he ate your p—-”

 Chick:

 “Lower your voice”

 Dude:

 Repeats the comment at the same volume, then gets up and leaves. Chick remains. And is now discussing the cost of a pack of cigarettes with an older couple one table over. Apparently before she moved here from Ohio six months ago, they were $3.50 a pack. She wants to quit, she tells what I believe are strangers, she “has a lot of stress going on right now.”

 Well, of course she does.

Wednesday

18

March 2009

0

COMMENTS

Arg

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The past few weeks have been a bit blue. Just a week after my last entry, our family friend passed away. It was just a few weeks from diagnosis to death, and that’s so not okay. My father spoke at the memorial, and it was hard to watch. They were such good friends. And my mother had known him since they were children (his mother and her mother were in church daycare together as babies in the 20s!). All of our summers involved him and his families, and I know that my parents planned for the rest of their summers to involve them as well. His wife will still be a part of their lives, and hopefully she knows how much we all care for her, and their children (one of whom used to stay with me and my sister when our folks went out of town). It’s one of the hardest passings I’ve experienced. It’s weird and really sad.

The training for the half marathon is going quite well. I’ve not missed a day of training, and feel like my times are good for what I’m looking to accomplish. And I’m getting close to my fundraising goal. However, my nutrition isn’t anywhere close to where it should be. I’m just not eating as well as I should be. I’ve got two weeks to go, and am seeing a sports nutritionist on Monday. Hopefully she can help with these last two weeks, but also for the training for the marathon. A couple of us have signed up for the Philadelphia marathon in November, so training will start in July. 

I’ve been having successes at work – I’m enjoying it, but still find myself distracted. Distracted by the idea of living in the UK, or by finding work back in Seattle. I love NYC, and Seattle, and feel as though I’ll probably spend most of my life missing one place or another, which just won’t due. I think a refocus on trying harder to enjoy where I am is in order.

The best thing (as always) are my friends. Herman and Kathleen are so dear, and I see them most weekends, sometimes multiple times. We just have fun together, and I appreciate that I don’t have to worry about being a third wheel. And throughout this past month, which overall has felt more crappy than good (while acknowledging that even my ‘crappy’ is still pretty darn lucky, as I still have a home, a job, a great family and awesome friends), my friends have put up with more moping and whining than they should have to. Hopefully whether things are getting better or not will be irrelevant; it’s my attitude and perspective that needs the adjustment, and I’m working on it.

To that end, I’ve read a couple of good books on Buddhism – one by the Dali Lama. Very interesting, and a good way to look at the world, and our roles in it.

Unrelated – has anyone seen “The Tudors”? I don’t get Showtime, so I’m only about mid-way through season one (and please don’t tell me how it works out!). I love it. Luckily my understanding of English history is woefully inadequate (yay California public schools and a college major focused on the US), so much of it is new to me. I don’t even remember how the whole Katherine of Aragon thing turns out, so I am enthralled. Good diversion on a Sunday afternoon!

Friday

2

January 2009

0

COMMENTS

A Good Rubdown

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I got a massage today.


I am totally blissed out. 


The wonderful day got even better when Jon Mark came over tonight and we ate pizza and salad and played old school video games. Remember Paper Boy? Dr. Mario? GALAGA?


So good. So, so good.


In other news, I have two races scheduled for the first half of the year – a 10K in March and a half marathon in May. I don’t start really “training” until February, but I’m trying to get my body into the running mode by getting out there about four times a week. It’s a bit tough, but not as hard as I thought it would be. We’ll see, though, as there are many cold and wet mornings between now and May 3…

Thursday

27

November 2008

0

COMMENTS

Huh. It Really Is Who You Know

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My dear friend Herman came into our staff meeting this morning and didn’t look like he was having a good day. I thought maybe it had a bit to do with preparing to host us orphans tomorrow, but Herman doesn’t really stress out about things like that. I was sort of right, and sort of wrong. He wasn’t so much stressed about having us over; he was stressed about not being able to have us over. Let me share the story (it has a happy ending).


Herman and Kathleen moved into their apartment over a year ago. They each moved from apartments where their respective landlords paid for the natural gas. When they moved into their current apartment, they were told only that they had to turn on the electric, not the gas. And the gas was on, so they didn’t think to double check that they didn’t have to put the gas in their name or anything like that. Given their past experience – and the fact that the landlord made a point to say it was the electric they needed to turn on (but NOT gas) – this makes sense to me.


So National Grid didn’t have their information. They claimed they sent notices over the last year, and maybe that’s true. My guess is the person who lived in the apartment before Herman and Kathleen had his or her mail forwarded, and when he or she saw letters from National Grid threw them out without opening them. National Grid ALSO claimed they sent letters addressed to “occupant.” Doubtful. Herman and Kathleen are two of the most conscientious people I’ve ever met – if they got even one notice, they would have addressed the issue immediately.


Want to know how they found out about the issue? National Grid decided to shut off their gas. 


The day before Thanksgiving. 


WHO DOES THAT?


Seriously. EVEN IF National Grid sent the notices as often as they claim (which I doubt), how can they shut off someone’s gas without any REAL notice? I hold the landlord and the super mostly responsible – the landlord should have told Herman and Kathleen that they were responsible for setting up the gas, and the super could have been a decent person and called Herman and Kathleen and said hey – National Grid is shutting off your gas. But that didn’t happen.


Why was this such a big deal? Oh, because National Grid said that they wouldn’t come back to turn it on until December 5.


I find this to be an absurdly poor corporate practice. It’s Thanksgiving – it’s not even a religious holiday. It’s one of the three or four holidays damn near EVERYONE in this country celebrates. And, unlike, say New Year’s Eve, it completely and totally involves COOKING. Why would they have a policy of shutting off gas (without giving notice), and of doing it right before a holiday? I just don’t get it. If you must shut it off – do it the day AFTER the holiday.


I spent some time on the phone as Kathleen trying to see what could be done to get the gas back on. Nothing. No movement. It was kind of entertaining – I did keep letting the person know that I knew they weren’t responsible, but I also let them know how amazed I was at how poorly this was handled.


My apartment is too small to house the ten people, and my oven wouldn’t fit the turkey, so for awhile we were trying to figure out where we could celebrate. Ben and Bonnie did say they could open their home – but they are all the way out in Bushwick, which would have been a tough trek with food from Park Slope / Prospect Heights.


But then – someone we know knows someone at National Grid. So Herman called. And that person? Took it on. Was able to talk to someone else who talked to someone else. And guess what? As of 6:30 PM, the gas was back on. Thanksgiving is on.


Most everyone could have handled this better. Herman and Kathleen probably should have double checked on the gas when they moved in – but given their history, why would they? I’ve never had to pay for garbage collection, so it wouldn’t occur to me to make sure I was paying that bill or that it was in my name.


The landlord DEFINITELY should have told Herman and Kathleen that they needed to set up the gas in their name. That’s really the only way they would find that information out. And the Super should have given Herman and Kathleen a heads up that the gas was being turned off – the Super is well aware that people are living in that unit, and he’s even met them. Is it his responsibility legally? No. But as a compassionate person I would say yeah, he should have done something.


And finally, National Grid. You REALLY should re-evaluate your policy about shutting off gas. Waiting OVER A YEAR and THEN turning it off the day before Thanksgiving, and not having anyone available to turn the gas back on in case (as in this situation), it should not have been turned off in the first place? SO NOT COOL.


In the grand scheme of things – tonight as I type this I’m watching the horror going on in Mumbai – this is not a big deal. Not even a small deal. But it was a completely unnecessary stress, and I think we could all do without those this time of year.