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Sunday

26

October 2014

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COMMENTS

What I’m Reading – October 26, 2014

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Misogyny

– “This reaction, mostly from male gamers, is to protect the status quo,” she said. The same is true more broadly, and always has been when it comes to women’s progress: the more ground we gain, the worse men react.” Gamergate is loud, dangerous and a last grasp at cultural dominance by angry white men (via @JessicaValenti)

– “There’s this herd of people, mainly angsty teenage caucasian men (based on an informal survey of 99 percent of the people who feel the need to defend this nonsense to me on Twitter), who feel that somehow, their identity as “gamers” is being taken away. ” Why #Gamergaters Piss Me The F*** Off (h/t @Karnythia)

– “Here is a thing you need to internalise: just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. ‘Whatever I can get away with’ is an inherently antisocial standard of behaviour.” Attention, men: don’t be a creepy dude who pesters women in coffee shops and on the subway (via @TheLindyWest)

– “A friend reminded me of all of the other recent shootings/stabbings/ violence like this. ‘Jesus f*cking Christ,’ she says. ‘Was it always like this and we’re only hearing about it more now?'” Entitled to Women: When Saying No Leads to Violence (h/t @Legal_Voice)

Police Violence

– “Everyone in St. Louis is afraid. The discrepancy in what they fear is tearing the region apart. Ferguson protesters—and much of black St. Louis—fear the police. ” “I am Darren Wilson”: St. Louis and the geography of fear (via @SarahKendzior)

– “The use by law enforcement of rubber bullets, tear gas and heavy military equipment and restrictions placed on peaceful protesters all violated international standards, the group said.” Police in Ferguson committed human rights abuses: Amnesty report (h/t @JasonLeopold)

Health

– “These incidents, which all took place at schools, illustrate a very poor understanding of African geography” 5 Schools Freaking Out About Ebola Because They Don’t Realize Africa Is A Really Big Continent (via @ThinkProgress)

– “Its development stalled in part because Ebola is rare, and until now, outbreaks had infected only a few hundred people at a time. But experts also acknowledge that the absence of follow-up on such a promising candidate reflects a broader failure to produce medicines and vaccines for diseases that afflict poor countries.” Ebola Vaccine, Ready for Test, Sat on the Shelf (h/t @leftiblog)

– “In her statement declaring the state of emergency and the cremation order, Sirleaf acknowledged the edict runs contrary to national tradition. “Ebola has attacked our way of life,” she said.” Cremation fears leave empty Ebola beds in Liberia (via @AP)

– “While a few of those interviewed said an overabundance of caution was welcome, the vast majority said that restrictions like those adopted by New York and New Jersey could cripple volunteers’ efforts at the front lines of the epidemic.” New Ebola Quarantine Protocol Seen as Barrier to Volunteers (h/t @charlesornstein)

– “Hickox also says that she eventually showed a fever on a forehead scanner because she was “flushed and upset” at the airport. After she arrived at the hospital, she says, a check with an oral thermometer found her temperature to be normal.” Health Care Worker Tests Negative For Ebola In NJ, Stays In Quarantine (via @nprnews)

– “So two power-hungry, corrupt, thuggish governors, New Jersey’s Chris Christie and New York’s Andrew Cuomo, have decided to enact their own public health Ebola policy. What could possibly go wrong?” So This Is How We’re Going to Respond to the Killer Death Virus? (h/t @shakestweetz)

Drug War

– “The report includes extensive analysis of marijuana arrest and income data, showing  that overall, low income and middle class communities of color face dramatically higher rates of marijuana possession arrests than do white communities of every class bracket.” Race, Class and Marijuana Arrests in Mayor de Blasio’s Two New Yorks: the NYPD’s Marijuana Arrest Crusade Continues in 2014 (h/t @mollyknefel)

Sports

– “According to the report, more than one in five of the university’s athletes from 1999 to 2011—and upwards of 3,000 students in all—were enrolled in the paper classes.” 3 Key Findings in Chapel Hill’s Academic-Fraud Investigation (h/t @scATX)

Prison Abuse

– “The family members claim the county and the jail’s health care service provider refused to transfer the inmates to a hospital until it was too late to save their lives, just to save money.” Lawsuits: Alabama Jailers Allowed 3 Inmates to Die of 19th-Century Ailments (h/t @DrJaneChi)

Sex Work

– “People love to talk about sex work as ‘selling your body’, but I am yet to meet a sex worker who, upon completing a job, is suddenly rendered incorporeal. Sex workers do not sell their bodies – they sell a service. ” I Don’t Care If You Call Me A Whore (via @jaythenerdkid)

Saturday

25

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Cleaning Up

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As part of my attempt to sort out my IRS issue, I decided to pull everything I have in storage. The goal was to see if I still have a bunch of old documents from when I first purchased the stock in question. I did (hurrah!), but I also realized that I had a lot of other stuff that I don’t really need.

An example is my pile middle school and high school yearbooks. This might be controversial for some folks, but I have no real need for my yearbooks. I don’t ever go back and look at the notes written, or even the pictures. That might be because I’ve always loved taking pictures, so I’ve got a lot of pictures from when I was younger. And those giant books take up a whole lot of space considering how often I look at them.

Another example is the giant stack of articles and papers from my studies in London. That took up an entire plastic bin, and it was much harder to part with. On the one hand, I have all my notes and papers saved online and backed up. But on the other hand, I probably can’t access the list of articles I read again. It seemed a little bit like accepting that I won’t be pursuing further study in the field. Which is accurate, and has been accurate for a couple of years, but the finality of actually throwing it in the recycling bin gave me pause. Still, I did it, it’s gone.

Other items, like photo negatives and my college diploma, I’m keeping, but I was able to consolidate way down. I also pulled out my old homecoming tiara and sash to give to a friend’s daughter to play dress-up. By the time I was done, I’d reduced three 2′ x 2′ x 2′ tubs to a handful of items that I could spread throughout the apartment. As a bonus, our storage unit now only has Austin’s climbing and camping gear (which wouldn’t be in the house anyway), and a taken-apart bistro table and chairs that we hope to use when we finally buy a place to live some day.

Austin is going to clean out the guest room closet on Sunday, which hopefully will result in a big trip to Goodwill in the afternoon. The key now is to not buy things that will fill that space back up.

Friday

24

October 2014

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COMMENTS

So. Tired.

Written by , Posted in Politics

Today I took a break from my Ebola preparedness work to check the news. And I saw that there was another school shooting, at a high school in the county just north of ours. My first thought was to see if this was looking like a mass fatality incident, and if it would make sense for me to call up and offer some assistance. It looks like ‘only’ two people (including the shooter) are dead, but others are severely wounded.

Are you guys tired? Because I am. I’m tired of gun violence in my community. I’m tired of the gun violence that gets the news coverage (suburban school shootings where ‘you don’t expect it’), and the gun violence that doesn’t get the news coverage (the shootings in areas where, apparently, it’s totally okay for the media to suggest that ‘you expect it’). We have an election in our state next week where there is an initiative on the ballot requiring background checks for sales at gun shows, and I will be voting for it. I love what Allison Kilkenny says in her book #Newsfail: this isn’t about gun control, this is about massacre prevention.

I don’t know how to express how frustrating this is, and how sad I am for the families, the school and the community. Some things you just can’t prevent, either because there’s nothing that can be done, or the cost of prevention would be just too high. This is not one of these instances. There are things we can do, and the costs are not too high.

[content note: guns]

Thursday

23

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Well That Is Disconcerting

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A few months ago we got a notice from the IRS saying we hadn’t paid our taxes for 2013. We had (and had the fat chunk of missing savings to prove it). Of course the notice arrived after 5 p,m. on a Friday, but I was able to get a hold of someone and after a couple of hang-ups, an hour on hold, and some frustrating moments, I confirmed that it was an error. Before that my only other run-in with the IRS was due to an old business license. Their system didn’t update that I had closed that business with no income (I’d gotten it so I could do consulting work if needed when I moved back to Seattle), so I thought maybe this was yet another attempt to collect taxes from defunct business. Especially since it was addressed to my given name and not my current name.

Nope. Nothing to do with our 2013 taxes, or my non-existent business. From what I can tell, someone screwed up, and I might owe a whole lot of money (like, high four figures). It looks like a company I had securities with is reporting that I made X amount of money from that, and I didn’t report it as income, so I owe about 20% of X, plus a bunch of penalties and interest. First off, I never got that tax document. If you know me, you know how super duper anal I am about things like finances. If it turns out my information was wrong, and I do owe that money, I will pay it, although I’m not okay with paying penalties or interest because I didn’t actually do anything wrong based on the information I had. Also, because I’m so anal, my first thought was to log into my accounts and look for late tax documents, or something I could have missed, but the ones I view don’t match up. If they were there and they matched, that’d be that. But it’s a little hard to prove the negative of I never got it (although the fact that it still isn’t here does help).

Oh, and did I mention that this is from two years ago? Not last year, but 2012. So I’m even more confused, because why didn’t that information come out when they do their regular checks in the twenty months that have passed since that tax year ended. But thanks to some advice my mother gave me when my checks were stolen in 2001, along with my last experience with the IRS, plus Austin’s general calming influence in my attitude, I didn’t lose my shit. I didn’t pick up the phone and try to get someone to answer all my questions. I ate my dinner, turned on a crappy movie, and started doing research so that I could figure out what to say when I do finally call tomorrow. Because the reality is I might end up having to dig super deep into savings to fix an error I unintentionally made in 2012 (if it all ends up being correct). And me being angry about it right now, or being short with the unlucky IRS agent who takes my call, isn’t actually going to change any of that.

Holy shit, you guys. I think I’m becoming an adult. Weird.

Wednesday

22

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Steel Magnolias

Written by , Posted in Reviews

I have not watched this movie in years. I’m not going to say it ‘holds up’ in that it is timeless, but it does, in a way, hold up. The decor gives away the decade (80s), but the clothing … not so much. Shelby’s honeymoon suit could be found, more or less, in any department store these days. And although the hairstyles are dated, the shirts that the guys are wearing could be found at American Apparel. It’s weird.

The story is as dramatic as I remember, and man, the dialogue is super cheesey but it’s also super awesome. I’m finding that I remember so many of the lines. I mean, I’m pretty sure at least once a holiday season I ask someone if they have a reindeer up their butt. Even the lines that are just too over the top somehow work. Maybe it’s because I first saw this when I was really young so I didn’t bat an eye at so much sincerity in one place.

There are obviously some problems with it (for example, the only black people in it were housekeepers or wedding guests). But it’s really cool to think about this as a movie that explores not just mother-daughter relationships, but relationships among older women. I mean, look at that cast. These are women in their 40s and 50s, and they have conversations about silly things and real things. I don’t know how the film was marketed when it originally came out, but as I get older I appreciate it more.

Tuesday

21

October 2014

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COMMENTS

On My Own (for like three days)

Written by , Posted in Adventures

For the first time since we moved in together three years ago, the Mister is out of town and I am not joining him. I’m very happy for him to have a chance to go to a work event where I’m sure he’ll have a lot of fun.

But I’m more happy for me, because I get the kittens ALL TO MYSELF! Seriously, it’s amazing. Tigger has already crawled into my lap for snuggles. I’ve just ordered a movie on Amazon (a comedy about abortion, which should have just been called ‘Hey, Ashley, You’ll Like This One’), and will soon be enjoying the worst pizza in the country. Only downside is I’ve got some work to do tonight as well.

But that’s okay. Because, as I said before, I get the kittens ALL TO MYSELF.

01 10 Cuddled together

 

Monday

20

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Choose Your Own Autobiography

Written by , Posted in Reviews

Three Stars (two for the book and one for the premise)

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As we made our way to the gate before a two-hour flight home last night, we spotted this book. I knew it had come out recently, and realized that the format (ostensibly a ‘choose your own adventure’-style autobiography) would probably lend itself better to a physical book. I picked it up and read it continuously, from waiting in line to board the plane until we caught a shuttle to our car back home. I read it on the elliptical this morning, and finished up the last ten of the nearly 300 pages after dinner tonight.

Now, despite his start as Doogie Houser, M.D., I mostly associate Mr. Harris with Barney Stinson, his character on my favorite sitcom, How I Met Your Mother. As my husband can attest, I will re-watch the shit out of that show on Netflix Streaming, and when I’m felling sad I’ll seek out the blooper reels online for a guaranteed laugh. I had high hopes for this book, but I’m a bit disappointed. It’s not the best comedic memoir I’ve read, nor is it even one of my favorites. (And if you check out my CBR5 reviews, you’ll know that I read a LOT of comedic memoirs, so I do have a frame of reference).

The trick he chooses – writing the entire book in the second person, turning the reader (“you”) into “Neil Patrick Harris” – is a fun one. It does allow for some unexpected moments, although I must admit I didn’t actually choose any adventures; I just read the book straight through, and it worked just fine. Mr. Harris is a national treasure, so I feel a bit odd being critical of the book, but aside from the occasional clever bits, I don’t actually feel like I got much out of reading the book. I mean, I enjoyed learning about his early career, and his experiences dating, and the choices he’s made in life, but the second person convention sort of allows Mr. Harris to write his story as a removed observer, preventing any sort of real connection between the author and the reader.

The book is also obviously going to be filled with enough dropped names to sink a ship, and that makes sense. That’s been his crowd since he was sixteen. But there’s something a bit off-putting about a chapter going on and on about gosh golly gee how cool is it to hang out with Elton John in Greece? I don’t think Mr. Harris is insincere, or bragging, there’s just something a little strange about how it’s presented. I also have some issues with the device he uses of having some folks pen letters to him to include in the book, that basically just go on and on about how great he is. I’m assuming they are real letters; they aren’t gushing enough to be satirical, they’re just sort of, I don’t know, really self-indulgent. And obviously any memoir is going to be self-indulgent. I don’t know – I’m having trouble articulating because I really want to like this book, and I really still do like Mr. Harris, and putting one’s life story essentially up for critique is impressive as hell, but at the same time … this book just wasn’t for me. I’d give it two stars, but the originality bumps it up to three for me.

Sunday

19

October 2014

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COMMENTS

What I’m Reading: October 19, 2014

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Gender and Sexuality

– ‘No matter what we did, we were always going to be otherizing Maura in some way. And in the same way where I wouldn’t want a man to say, ‘I can have a writers’ room full of men and we can write women just fine.’ Orange Is the New Black Creator Criticizes Transparent’s New ‘Trans-Affirmative Action’ Policy (h/t @DrJaneChi)

Misogyny

– “It is not karma that has oppressed women in India, where Nadella and I are from — it is the domination of the wealthy classes, in a system where subjugating women is a convenient way of subjugating the working class as a whole.”  Nadella’s blunder: Two Seattle City Council women respond (via @cmkshama)

– “In most courts, dates are routinely moved to accommodate the schedule of lawyers, including for vacations. And although the court does not employ her directly, the incident does raise questions about the state of maternity leave in the U.S.” Judge Won’t Delay Hearing For Lawyer’s Maternity Leave, Then Berates Her For Bringing Baby To Court (via @ThinkProgress)

Banking Crisis

– “Parker is about to file a class action lawsuit against the Dallas-based debt collection company, Dyck O’Neal, which is working to recoup the money on behalf of Fannie Mae. The class action will allege that Dyck O’Neal violated fair debt collection practices by suing people in the state of Florida who actually lived out of state.” Americans face post-foreclosure hell as wages garnished, assets seized (h/t @sarahkendzior)

– “Getting tens of thousands of homeowners to deceptively sign away their rights for $178.04, and then rip off their homes, is bad enough, but it gets worse. Wells Fargo never complied with the minimal obligations in the class action settlement.”  “We hope they were duped”: How prosecutors gave banks the best “penalty” ever

Intersectionality

– “When I see a white man ambling towards me on the street at night, or when I am in an elevator with him, or when I see him in the car next to mine on the interstate, I often think I should be afraid. I know what white men are capable of.” Roxane Gay: I have feared white men and I have loved them (via @rgay)

Immigration

– “Clearly moved, once on board the plane the other passengers refused to fasten their seat belts – a protest that prevented the pilots from being able to begin take off.” Refugee facing deportation from Sweden saved by fellow passengers refusing to let plane leave (h/t @stavvers)

Policing

– “Novara is apparently taking the aliases of activists, finding out their real names (which may be difficult or easy) and then making calls to businesses to warn them that they are tweeting things that are making people upset and so that is why they may get angry phone calls. If effective, this can be pretty defamatory.” St. Louis Officer Who Called Activist’s Boss About Her Tweets Now Under Investigation by Internal Affairs (h/t @Copwatch)

Education

– “Labor exploitation is not the new normal. Adjunct professors are distinct from other low-wage contract workers only by virtue of degree – that is, the Ph.D. Like other exploited workers, adjuncts are told that their low pay and mistreatment are the deserved consequence of poor choices.” The Adjunct Crisis Is Everyone’s Problem (h/t @sarahkendzior)

Saturday

18

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Birthday Parties Are Awesome

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My sister-in-law is extremely creative and very talented. She’s the head pastry chef for a great little shop in Santa Barbara, and was the genius behind the cupcakes and truffles and Austin’s and my wedding. She not only knows how to make all kinds of sweet and savory treats, but how to throw a party.

The whole point of our trip down to Santa Barbara was to celebrate our niece’s third birthday. The theme for the party was Cinderella, and Joc went all out. We helped hang thin white fabric and sparkly bits from the deck overhang, set up table and chair, and set out all of her decorations. She did some simple work with ribbons and mason jars, created a great birthday banner, and made these ridiculously detailed Hershey kiss mice. The mice were two kisses glued together bottom to bottom, with tiny mouse ears glued between, a tiny pink tail, and tiny googly eyes. She scattered them across the tables, creating delicious, adorable decorations.

She also made some involved but delicious and clever appetizers. There were cucumber cups with dill cream cheese piped inside, toped with smoked salmon and a slice of tomato. There were dates stuffed with goat cheese and wrapped in basil and prosciutto. There were cheeses and other nibbles, and everything had a label so folks knew what was what. Because the party involved adults and children, there was wine, fruit drinks for the little ones, a table covered with butcher paper and art supplies, pizza, a Cinderella bouncy house (which Austin and I got to try out before the kids arrived), and a Cinderella piñata. There was also an amazing two-layer cake covered in blue fondant and lots of bows, with a Cinderella cake topper. One of the flavors was chocolate with chocolate buttercream, Nutella and pretzels. Our niece had an amazing time, which was obviously the point, but all the other kids and adults seemed to have a great time as well.

Why do I share all of this? Because I want to remember the party for the next time I get to throw a little shindig. There were so many special touches that I think I would enjoy employing at my cookie party or some other time. Obviously our parties won’t be child-focused, but there are often kids there, and there is more we can do to make sure they are having fun.

Also, I want an excuse to make those Hershey kiss mice.

Friday

17

October 2014

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COMMENTS

Traveling

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I am a nervous traveler. Not in a ‘oh my god, we’re all going to crash and die’ sort of way, but in a ‘oh my gosh, we’re going to get stuck in security for hours and miss our flight’ sort of way. Also a ‘we’re going to end up having to check our carry-on bag, which means we’ll get home like 30 minutes later than I thought’ sort of way. And we all know that the extra 30 minutes of sleep I lose because of that is the END OF THE WORLD.

It’s not, though. Not really. Even if we get home a couple of hours later, the world will not end. I’ll still get enough sleep to function for a day. I’m pretty sure this all just stems from my dislike of the unknown. I like to be in control (shocking, I know). So for my next times traveling, I’m going to try to do what Austin does – just go with it. It’ll work out. We will get through security with enough time. There will be space for our bags. And if there isn’t, we will deal with it.

And here is a benefit of having my own blog (that like two people read). Even just seeing it typed out is a nice reminder of what a ridiculous concern it is. There’s too much else that is actually worth my anxiety to let traveling be worrisome. It should be an adventure!